Can't stop won't stop

It's gonna be another fun summer with these kids...

Looking at this rusty old blog space makes me a tad nostalgic. It was maintained so well during my children's younger years (which, for the record, they are still young), but with life amping up as we entered school for my oldest, and just life amping up in general, it has quite obviously taken a sad backseat. I know they say time flies and cherish those younger years with your kids because they're over before you know it, and it's sort of really true. I downloaded the app TimeHop a couple of months ago, because, why not? And it stuns me when pictures from 6 years ago show up and it's a little baby Mia in her bouncy seat...it doesn't even seem fathomable that she was a baby 6 years ago. Where has the time gone?

I feel for moms who are in the thick of it with a toddler and a baby--it is really a nonstop work. And not that my situation isn't nonstop either, it really, seems to get busier and busier, but the mental fortitude and attention that is required starts to shift. They don't need my constant attention. Sure, they want it, but it's not always required.

What's going to change though? Baby #3.

As I announced on my other blog a couple of months ago (which, sadly, has gone on hiatus as well!) is that we are expecting baby number three at the end of the summer (late August or early September, likely)! I'm already 28 weeks so that means I've hit the unbelievable point of my 3rd trimester, which is alarming, exciting, and mind-blowing.

Some of our fav things to do at HHI, SC

My oldest child graduated kindergarten this year, and the week after school let out, we went on a family vacation to Hilton Head Island, SC, with some good friends of ours. I looked at that trip as the "dawning" of summer for our family, and I figured it might be one of the only excursions/trips we take this summer, because I figured we'd be busy getting ready for the reality of a baby coming at the end of summer, but I gotta say...
The summer's flying by faster than I expected. Just like last year, it's filled with tons of good things like seeing family, going to the pool, participating in Stroller Strides, Mia's doing developmental swim team (where she works with a coach and other kids to learn strokes; it's not competitive!), and just finding time to chill as a family, it's amazing to me how blazingly fast it's all going by. Before I know it, it will be July, and then August, and if I don't have a baby by the end of that month, I for sure will be having one in the next month (Lord Willing)!

It'll be interesting to return to babyland. Mia will be in 1st grade, and Gabe will be 3, almost 4, when the baby's born, so while they are two and a half years apart, there's obviously been a bit of a lag between these kids and this next one. I'm thankful to have two older helpers (right?!) but it'll be another mind-shift for me as a mom. We've gotten really used to, and have enjoyed, being on the go a lot and doing fun things and going with the flow, and I just have a feeling that while this baby might have to go with the flow as well, we may also be slowing down. And that's okay. There's a time for everything. So I'm just going to enjoy the time we have left as a family of four and hopefully in doing so, allow my mind and body to mentally and spiritually prepare for becoming a family of five! It won't really be real to me, until it's real.  So, here we go :)

25 weeks in HHI with a little sidekick who wanted in on the action

Kindergarten graduate, whaaat!!

Have you added a kid to the crew when your other kids were already a bit bigger? I know they look small in these pictures but they seem big to me! How was your transition/experience? What did you love; what were you not prepared for?

Sunny days...

This blog needs some pep. I haven't been in a funk but I have just been a bit more busy it seems - being a mom. It's nice to feel purposeful but I'm trying to not have tunnel vision. It can be tempting (because it's so easy to do) to get totally sucked up in your kids you forget about everything else. Sometimes I like that, but sometimes I realize I have nothing else to offer if I only mother. There's gotta be a balance. Raising these kids to launch is an incredibly important job; keeping myself balanced is important too, also part of my job. Working on it...

Till then enjoy these sweet thangs...even when they freak out about dirty purple cups.

The Baby Days

[Disclaimer: This is totally one of those blogs that hipster people of the blog world make fun of, because it's like a play-by-play of our days and probably completely over the top, e.g., "and then, we walked outside, and I opened the mailbox, and grabbed the mail, and threw the junk into the recycling bin, and then I opened the garage door, ad nauseum, ad nauseum, BLA BLA BLA." But as Greg noted to me personally, most of this is for my own record.  So BOOM. Enjoy!]


Things are going and moving along as they should.  We're really in a good groove right now and I couldn't ask for much else, save my recent intolerance to eggs (a once favorite food of mine)!  I'm investigating that and considering various possibilities* but for now my mornings are starting off with some soaked oatmeal and a little coffee and then this is generally how the rest of our day unfolds...
(I'm documenting this now, because the newborn/baby days tend to be a blur and I know I'll forget this if I never record it)


Mia tends to wake up around 7-7:30am, and if Gabe hasn't woken up prior to that (anywhere between 4-6:30am), he'll usually wake up by then, if not usually by 8.
He'll feed, Mia will be done watching whatever morning show Greg hooks her up with (usually Sesame Street) so he can get ready for work, and she and I will eat breakfast [she usually eats toast, fruit, or "noats" (oatmeal), or sometimes a smoothie or a muffin I've previously made].  I have lately been scarfing down {soaked} oatmeal every morning with a little cup of joe and some cream and that tides me over for a while.

Then, if there's not some other pressing obligation, I'll start doing laundry or cleaning up the kitchen or if those are somehow miraculously taken care of, I'll get ready to go out (although sometimes we never go out)!  After breakfast is when at-home duties are attended to, or when we get ready to head out for an errand or a playdate, or sometimes when dinner prep begins (if a crockpot meal or meat needs thawing.)

Helping Gabe in the Bumbo

For a while there, we were getting out every single day. I call it part of my "save-my-sanity-postpartum-plan," but it really only lasted for a while as I began to realize it was an unsustainable practice that left me on the go just a bit too much and a little drained, with stressed-out hungry kids (Gabe included). So now, even though I still love and need to get out during the day and see the rest of civilization, we do it much less frequently and on more of a relaxed schedule.  If it works, it works, and if it doesn't, well then, we just make do.  I've tried to be more purposeful in my grocery shopping so that we have more of what we need at home and don't have to make trip after trip to the store.
It was definitely one thing when it was me and Mia and we could "quickly" (in toddler-speed) run into a store and grab something, or even peruse the aisles a bit longer and have fun, but it's another thing when you're hauling an infant either in his carseat or in a baby carrier.  There's just more to mentally attend to and it makes quick trips just not-so-quick.

So now, we only get, if possible, 1-3 mornings a week.  There's usually at least one grocery store visit, and one morning where I have a girls bible study and Mia and Gabe come with me.  Occasionally we go to the chiropractor, have a playdate with other toddler friends, and every other Tuesday we dash out early in the morning to pick up farm fresh eggs and dairy products.  While I tend to loathe getting up early Tuesday mornings for this pickup, it's good for getting us out of the house while life is hustling around us, and oftentimes I stop at Target or Nutrition S'mart (a health food store) on the way back while Gabe is still snoozing and Mia's well-enough entertained and finish any other shopping we may have.

Miles of Smiles after an outing

We eat lunch anywhere between 11:30am and 1pm, and I feed Gabe one more time before naptime, and swaddle him, put him in his swing, and get Mia ready for naptime.  Right now our process is to read 2-3 (short) books, say a prayer, sing some (short) songs and I leave, and Mia goes to sleep pretty soon thereafter after playing with her baby doll and/or singing to herself.  Thankfully, Mia is handling naptime so much better these days than she was months ago.  I think the whole Mommy-is-having-a-baby-and-there's-so-much-change was harder on the both of us than I realized, and her fiery resistance really reared its ugly head at naptime.  So much so, I thought we were doomed.  However, most days now I'm thankfully seeing her nap for about 2 hours and our lives are all much the better because of this.  Usually when I walk out of her room, Gabe is peacefully snoozing in his swing and he'll sleep extra long in the afternoons.

I don't know what I'm going to do when he outgrows that swing, because it's my saving grace every afternoon!  He'll nap in his bouncy seat or in his crib in the mornings, but he won't take very long naps in his crib in the afternoons.  I just don't know how to transition him into that just yet and I'm okay with him in the swing as long as it works.  I guess when it stops working for us, we'll reevaluate and move on to the next thing (which would be the crib, I guess).  He is swaddled for his afternoon nap and at night.

Caught sleeping!

Mia tends to wake up between 4-5pm and we get a quick snack, check the mail, and she likes to watch another show.  Right now she is really into "Max & Ruby," based off the books by Rosemary Wells.  It's a pretty cute show, but she's obsessed with it right now.  "I WANNA WATCH MAX!!!"  It's been so nice out though, that even though I love that Gabe sleeps so long in the afternoons, it'd be a nice time to take a walk before dinner.  It's really the best time of year in Florida.

Greg tends to get home between 5:30 and 6 and if dinner isn't started by then it usually will be by the time he gets home.  You could say our roles are very traditional right now -- something I never imagined years ago knowing myself, but it just works for us.  Dare I admit it, it's just better for us this way!  Gabe is usually awake for dinnertime, and then we might do some light activity after dinner, and then it's usually bathtime for Mia (and occasionally Gabe), then bedtime with Daddy, and I get Gabe ready for bed too.  He doesn't always go to bed as early as Mia does, but lately there have been more times when it's syncing up than not.

Making a cake from scratch with Daddy -
Happy Valentine's Day to ME!

Getting Gabe down isn't tricky in the sense that it's hard for him to fall asleep, but sometimes it's hard to know when he's done eating.  He may fall asleep after eating, only to cry a bit when I lay him down, so I try to feed him one more time to make sure he's totally full, offer him his pacifier and lay him down in his crib.

Thus far, he's been much easier to put to sleep at night than Mia was.  I attribute that to a) us as parents being a bit more chill, relaxed but purposeful about "sleep training" and b) Gabe's temperament.  He just seems more calm.  He doesn't necessitate lots of coaxing and coddling as much as Mia did, although the other night he seemed legitimately fussy and just needed to fall asleep in my arms in the dark.  After having a rough time with Mia (which, bless her heart, much of it was our fault in creating bad habits), we are so thankful -- at least for the time being -- that Gabe is an easier sleeper.

He's a longer sleeper too, something I'm also not taking for granted.  While he has occasional regressions, like he did a few days ago, last night he slept from 10 to 7:30am!  He's such a good little guy and having had Mia first, I know how blessed I am to get that much sleep.  His sleep regressions the other night meant he got up 2 times in between 10 and 8.  It's always just a stage, which is what I keep telling myself.

Having two now means a few different things.  For one, I've realized it's really easy to overdose on just taking care of the baby. At first, that's all I really could do, and I was glad we had extra hands around to take care of Mia.  But now I realize they are both my responsibility and while Gabe sometimes has more pressing concerns than Mia does, I can't let her feelings and her need for emotional connection and support fall by the wayside.  That's something I'm trying to be more purposeful about.

Totally unscripted senior-picture like poses of
Mia with her baby in the Moby wrap // LOVE!

Secondly, as I alluded to before, while I enjoy being on the go, and Mia does too, I've realized for feeding and sleeping purposes, it is just not a schedule I can constantly maintain.  It also is not very restful for me, and I find it physically draining. So, forcing myself to slow down has actually been a very good thing for our tiny people and for me.

Thirdly, I've realized it is actually making our days more purposeful.  It's forcing me to be a tad more organized, whether that means with meal-planning or designating my days to do x, y, or z.  I can't do everything in just one day so I have to spread out my tasks.  Even though I've been mothering for almost 3 years now, I think I took for granted some of the free time I had with just one child and I didn't have to plan as much.  Now, I plan and carve out my time a bit more carefully.  And I stand in awe of women with more than 2 kids.  Do tell me, how do you do it?  I'd love to know and learn from you.

We have good kids and good health and a good life.  It is really a good, blessed time in life. I couldn't ask for much more...maybe a little reprieve from my own brain, but that's about it ;)  Naps are good, too.

*One of my considerations is trying the full GAPS diet, if even for a few weeks or a month to see if it reverses my egg sensitivity and improves what I believe might be eczema on Gabe's arms (not bad, very mild).  If you have any interest in trying it with me, please let me know! I could use a buddy in this diet experiment!

Growing into The Mommy Life

A couple of weeks ago I ran into a former acquaintance from FC and while we were talking, she paused and asked me, "So, tell me, do you love being a mom?" and for the first time in a while I didn't hesitate to say, "Yes, I do!" I still have problems admitting that at times; there's an internal fight with the Megan of yesteryear and the Megan that I am today.  You see, it wasn't so long ago I didn't think mothering would be in the cards for me...

When I look back at my youth, I sometimes think I thought too much and I thought about all the things moms "have" to do, and to be honest, I looked at my own mom's life and thought, "Wow, everyday, it's the same thing." Not that my mom didn't do it joyfully, because to be honest, I never really saw her complain.  But it was up in the morning, getting the kids going, cleaning up the kitchen, doing laundry, paying bills, running errands, shuffling kids (I guess since we were all spaced out it wasn't always all 4 of us at once!), making dinner, cleaning the kitchen again and if she was lucky, sitting down for a minute.  As a feeble-minded youth, I just didn't see the fun in it.  And of course, I was selfish. More of self, and less of Thee.  I was immature.

And then (I know I talk about it frequently but to blog is semi-therapeutic and I'm constantly reevaluating this, since it's been the biggest catalyst in my life for change), after I realized there are a few good men out there--aside from family members and good-friends-who-were-boys that I just couldn't fathom settling down with--and Providence landed me with Greg, I figured we had a few more years before the childbearing began.  Hahahahahahaha.  God really laughed at that plan, just as he laughed at my plan to finish my grad school internship right after we got married so that we would only be a single-income family for about one college semester.  Looking back I figured there was a purpose for that setback, to not be in school full-time, or not be interning, or not be earning any real money.  I didn't know when I'd realize it or when I'd figure it out and I still don't know if I fully understand it all, but it taught me one thing.  My timing isn't always God's timing, even if it stinks.
Of course, when I did finally graduate, and got a job, and then almost immediately got pregnant, I think I really felt out-of-control.  The best laid plans oft go awry.  Could that not be a life statement for most of us??

When we lose our locus-of-control, often our "happiness" or internal contentment diminishes.  And this is what I think about often.  I didn't immediately enjoy motherhood because I wasn't prepared for it. I didn't think it was in the cards in the short-term future.  I was not in control.  I was not willing to accept what I thought I'd be giving up.  And do you know how hard that is to admit?  Aren't young Christian women supposed to yearn for the call of motherhood? Is it considered selfish to not desire that role instinctively or immediately?  Well at least for me, those instincts hadn't kicked on just yet.  It had nothing to do with my own mom or other mothers around me, yet I felt guilty for feeling that way, like I was offending their being.  Before we got married and talked about kids, I figured the desire to be a mom would grow the longer we were married.

And in the middle of all that, Mia was born, and her birth was great, really really great.  There's not a single thing I would change about that.  When I reflect on it, it was such a serene, peaceful and beautiful day when my world was literally rocked.  The day I became a mother.
But I can't change what all happened after that.  It was rough. Really really rough.  And having Gabe's birth experience and the days thereafter to compare with Mia's, I realize just how different things could have been, but weren't. I realize now why I wasn't immediately happy as a new mom.  I unfortunately had some lingering baby blues.  So, when you're asked that infamous question, "Don't you loooove being a mom?", I almost resented it.  How could you ask me that??  It hurt.  She's small. I feel guilty.  I can't figure out this breastfeeding thing. I feel guilty. I keep getting sick. Why won't I get better? And I have a blood clot. What's wrong with me?  Pounding. Pounding. Pounding.

It gave me little chance to bond with a tiny, precious baby girl who is growing up into a delightful, strong child.  And I just didn't know how to be.
Finally, though, I got back some sense of control.  I found some purpose and I found some structure.  I found a community, and God gave me a group of people with whom I could work along side and feel productive. I felt useful, even if I was in a totally different role than I'd planned.  And to this day, it is still a little embarrassing to admit all those feelings that I had, but as a former counselor, I know you need to honor those feelings, or at least let them pass through, many times in order to move on.  You don't have to act on the feelings and actually BE selfish toward your child, or drop your responsibilities and walk away, but you can acknowledge them, have your peace, and move on.  And that's what I'm doing. Which is why I think I am enjoying the mommy life.  It is the toughest, highest calling I've ever known.  But these two munchkins are my arrows that will eventually be getting ready to launch, and just as God does a work in me, I have a work to do in them.

Let me do right by them. 

Life...as a family of 4.

Every time I have a moment to sit down and think about blogging, my mind essentially turns to mush. I had so much to organize and keep track of before Gabe was born and life seemed really interesting (to me, at least) with all that I had going on, and now life has simplified down to the bare necessities: are we all fed? Do we have clean clothes? Is the dishwasher unloaded, or running? Have I bathed recently?  Perhaps I make it all sound like we're in a crazy mad dash all the time, which we're not, but I've had far less time to just sit down and twiddle my thumbs.  For which I do not complain. I know in time, God willing, that personal free time will return. And I'll take what I can get, when I can get it.

3 weeks in with Mr. Gabe and life's been pretty good to us so far.  None of the rough starts that afflicted us with Mia have been present with Gabe, bless them hearts.  Gabe's only concern so far was slightly elevated bilirubin levels (threatening us with jaundice) right after he was born, which kept us all in the hospital about 2 extra days.  The mixed blessing in that was that I received extra lactation help, which has made a world of difference this time around when it comes to breastfeeding.  I struggled so much with that in the beginning with Mia, which led to my decision to exclusively pump for her.  I've not even touched a pump in over a week with Gabe, which has felt really nice.  There are times when I wish I could just hand him over to Greg and he give him a bottle so I could get a little more sleep in the middle of the night, but in some cases it's not worth the effort to go through all of that.  We're still working through the first few weeks of nursing, but all in all, we're very much off to a better start, for which I'm super thankful.

sleep: it's mostly what he do

Because that is going as it is, and we're not using bottles, in some ways I feel like I'm dealing with a newborn for the first time.  I often wonder--is he fully content and fed? Does he need me? Is he sleeping right now because he's full, or is he just taking a little break? With Mia, we gave her a bottle with approximate amounts based on what she seemed to need to consume, and that was that. There was very little question as to if she was full/hungry; anytime she cried hard we gave her a bottle and up she went gaining weight! And generally speaking, she'd go back to sleep with a little prompting.

Sleepwise, it is what it is.  Some nights are certainly better than others. He could sleep soundly all day quite easily, and tends to right now, feeding every 2-4 hrs, but at night, he is still figuring out how to consistently sleep longer stretches.  Let's just say I'm thankful it's a holiday weekend because with Greg home, I'm allowed to go back to sleep for another hour or two after Gabe wakes up for a morning feed, while he hangs with Mia.  During the week I do not have that luxury.

And speaking of luxuries, my mom was in town for the first week and a half that Gabe was home, and that made such a world of difference. I don't know how people survive without their families, communities, villages or tribes (whatever you want to call it).  I cannot fathom having a child without having the help of someone you inherently trust to assist you with the nitty gritty.  (This includes Greg as well, and those friends of mine who have *blessedly* seen me in unusually compromising positions! *points to certain hospital visitors*)

Mommo & Gabe

For essentially the first week and a half, Mia was taken care of, fed, bathed, napped, and entertained by either Greg or my mom. I was instructed not to lift her the first 2.5 weeks, which I was not expecting to hear!  It was emotionally hard to not be able to deal with Mia at certain times especially when she wanted mommy, but I was so thankful to have others around to attend to the situation and keep things rolling, keeping my stress levels low.

My parents were in town part of this week for Thanksgiving, so my mom went home and essentially turned around 5 days later, meaning I only had to be totally on my own for 3 weekdays.  It was not as rough an intro to life with 2 kids as I'd been fearing.  However, next week when everybody is gone, including Greg's parents, I might feel otherwise.  It'll be 5 straight days on my own!  That, my friends, seems a little bit scarier!

The most challenging parts of the day are usually at feeding times, when Mia all of a sudden wants mommy to hold her; naptime, if I'm not sure if Gabe is totally out and asleep and I'm trying to get Mia down; and right after naptime, when Mia tends to wake up as I'm feeding Gabe.  I think it's probably hard for her to often see mommy consumed by another baby, but right now, so much of my time is spent sitting in a chair "eating" Gabe (that's what Mia says instead of "feeding."  "Mommy, you eating Gabe?"  "Yes, I'm 'feeding' him.")

loving on her baby brother

Mia loves Gabe though, wants to hold him, burp him, give him his pacifier, and talk and play with him. She received a new Signing Time DVD this past week (about going to the potty! *thinking positive thoughts here*) and it showed some signs she already knew and she started putting Gabe's hands to his mouth to sign "eat".  It was so cute and I love that she already wants to get him involved in everything.  If she puts up a fight about anything, it's just about the attention she is not receiving 100% of from mommy and daddy anymore.


Before Gabe was born, I had a lot of concerns. I was nervous about his health, my health, his delivery, the postpartum period, dealing with all the changes that occur after one gives birth, and how I'd feel by Thanksgiving. I'm happy to say that many of my concerns were relieved as soon as he was born and things started moving on "normally." I'm happy to be normal in this case, for once, and not at any extremes.  I still have much ground to break when it comes to mothering two children, and getting into a groove with Gabriel and Mia, so I shant count my chickens before they've hatched, but I'm so grateful to God and to my tribe for seeing us through the first three weeks.  Yesterday we were able to celebrate Thanksgiving with both sides of the family including both sets of grandparents and nothing but good times accompanied our gatherings.  With Mia, I was very much of a Nervous Nelly for those first few weeks.  I figure that's probably a common first-time mom feeling and there's nothing I can do to change the past, but it makes me realize now how nice it is to just let things be and live in the moment, and not worry about every detail of the next 3 hours.  Just breathing is nice.

And now that Gabe is stirring, that's my cue.  Here a few pictures of Gabe meeting his other family members over the past week!

Gabe & Papa Jack

Gabe with Nana & Granddad

Sneaking in a picture of Mia with Uncle Jackson

Uncle Jackson & Gabe

Gabe happily asleep with Mommo & Papa Jack

The Crazy Life

The days are whizzing by are they not?  It's late in the afternoon and I'm finally sitting in a sunny family room, with my legs propped up and the fan whirring above me.  Even though it's cool outside for Tampa, I got a little hot this afternoon in my SuperNanny attempts to keep Mia in her big girl bed for naptime.  It worked but I also worked up a little sweat in doing so.

So much has changed since Monday and Tuesday, when we set up Mia's room.  Her room is her room. She's thankfully very proud of her new room and isn't much interested in the old room.  I must admit it feels weird to walk into this old guest room and see it all set up for a little girl.  We're still figuring out how things should be set up and where some things might go, but as of now, almost all her belongings, clothes and shoes are in this room.  She doesn't even want her diaper changed on the changing table in the nursery anymore. "On the bed, Mommy," she told me earlier today.

We walked by the crib this morning when we were getting something from the closet and she pointed to the crib and said, "baby brother sleep in crib."  There had/has been anxiety about all these transitions; how will she handle it, what will we do, who will hit their breaking point first? (quick answer: usually me!), but thus far we've been okay! I attribute that much more to others' prayers and my requests for wisdom from God & more experienced parents more than anything else.  I'm really still such a newbie in all these transition times.

In terms of Mia's actual sleeping in her bed, she's done quite well at night the last two nights.  Naptimes always prove a tad more difficult either because a) it's mommy and not daddy, b) it's not dark outside, c) I've become lax in some of my handlings because I'm "tired and pregnant" (not always a good excuse, my friends)! or d), some combo of all of the above.  Yesterday she finally did nap, but didn't go down in a way I'd really like to replicate daily.  Today, we did the Super Nanny method (keep returning the child to the bed) and it eventually worked out.  I'm hoping we're on the start of something positive.  She will play in her bed for quite a while and be quiet (nice!) but then start to get up (not so nice).  Sleepy/Quiet-time needs to last more than 30-40 minutes, in my opinion.  

Mia's first night in her big-girl bed

"Playing" at nap time

Reading books to herself at naptime

We've had a great day overall.  The weather is cooling down and we took a walk through our neighborhood and then spent an hour at the park this morning. I noticed she was much more tolerable today at home than she has been otherwise...I think the lack of sleep from skipping naps and feeling cooped up in the house had been getting to her.  Today after lunch she entertained herself while still keeping a close distance to mommy.

Getting ready for the walk! Down with cabin fever

girl gon' love her swing!

Coloring while I scan some documents

Asleep today after a modified SuperNanny session

Beyond that, we're just heading into another weekend. As always--there is still more prep work to be done before bambino arrives but thankfully the list is a lot shorter than it was a week ago!  I have my 36 wk appt tomorrow (awfully bright and early I might add!) and some plans with some friends after that.  

Mia has an adventure planned with Uncle Luke & Aunt Allison on Saturday and I know she'll be jazzed about hanging out with them. I'm so thankful they offered to take her for an outing; it'll be good for her to spend time with them and for us to get some more things done around the house or just spend time together.  

This is my latest belly shot, pictured below with my friend Jenny, taken at church.  Currently at our congregation, there are at least 6 women who are pregnant between now and early April.  Crazy!  Thus far, 4 out of the 6 pregnancies, the moms are carrying boys.  And two other boys were just recently born in September.  ¡Increíble!  It's going to be a crazy nursery class pretty soon.  I'm so thankful for these friends though...it is a major blessing to be going through pregnancy and early childhood development with some good women.  I did not know this until after I had Mia and now I will not take it for granted!

pregnancy buddy at church -

JB: 27 weeks

MEC: 36 weeks

I'm documenting this all now because shortly so much will change and before I know it, 2011 will almost be over.  Blogging seems silly at times, especially when the blogs are lengthy, or uncharacteristically short, but for me, it is nice to be able to look back and see what was going on a couple of years ago.  Things change. People change. iPhones change.  But I don't want my memories to fade! Being verbal is my form of expression so I'll continue to let it out while I still have a voice! ;)

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Cue David Bowie.

And cue a movement.

At least for now, we're celebrating one tiny step in Mia-kind.  The "transition" to the big girl bed.  We know full well it could backfire on us later tonight, or sometime tomorrow, and while I'd be discouraged I believe I'd understand.  Little kids can only do and fight through so much before they just need some comfort.

But today we got much more done in Mia's room and made it more like her own and tonight, after a little while of waffling and getting up, Mia laid down in her bed and fell asleep!

SO proud ;)

After Greg painted the room over the weekend, it was time to set up the furniture that had been awkwardly huddled in the middle of the room.  Greg and I started set up the basic bones of the room while Mia looked on (and eagerly tried to help) and after she went down to sleep (in the nursery) we came back to review the progress. 

Furniture huddled in room / a peek at the paint color
(and where the chair rail will go)

 It still felt a little cold and I was worried it wouldn't warm up.

walking into the room

my old desk! (and greg's old sunrise alarm clock)

view from the desk/closet corner

However later today, Mia and I started to move things from the nursery that were clearly "hers" that will stay with her into this room and it immediately started to warm up.  I put some artwork on the wall -- conveniently there were still some holes in the wall from the former artwork that was hung there, and started adorning the shelves on the desk, as well as decorating the nightstand & dresser.  It's still not yet finished, but it looks a lot more FUN and childish than it did before.  The quilt at the end of the bed isn't even the original quilt I have in mind for the room's theme (it's in the laundry), but it still adds a necessary pop of color to a green room.

playing on her new bed
(not pictured: the bed rail installed after this picture)

I had to run out after dinner to pick something up and Greg started the bath and bedtime routine with Mia while I was gone, and when I opened the door when I got home, I could hear Mia excitedly shouting at me, "I in Mia's bed, Mommy!"

It took a little cajoling and soothing but after some encouragement Mia fell asleep in her bed.  These changes aren't just big for her -- they are big for us too.  It feels crazy to see my little girl sleeping in such a huge bed all by herself.  She seemed a little scared sitting in her bed in the dark when I walked in at one point to help her get settled, and I felt so bad for her. It made me realize even though she's a "big girl" just how tiny she still is.  She's just two.  I don't want to force her to grow up but I do want to encourage her to enjoy her new room, new bed and these new milestones.  So even if she gets up in the night or toddles into our room at an early hour ... we will recognize this very BIG achievement of falling asleep in the new bed.

And now, I must find cute ways to adorn bambino's room.  It looks SO bare with all of Mia's accessories gone.  Hopefully when the artwork arrives it'll help.  But poor guy is about to move into a modern minimalist room...for now!

Feeling the change

You'll have to excuse me if the next several posts are baby-related.  It's just where I am, and it's hard almost to think about anything else.  Getting ready for a baby is just one of the most life-changing things.  All these moments of preparation leading up to his arrival and the one day he's here, and you never go back to that side of life pre-baby again.  You just keep moving on.  Almost every day with Mia now I look at her and realize soon she won't be the only one.  There'll be one more.  I put her to bed tonight (usually Greg does but he was gone) and as I held her in the dark quiet room, I realized soon she won't be the only little person for whom I do this.  I also realized...I won't be sleeping quite as much anymore but let's not talk about that.  That's one aspect of new parenthood that can be quite hard to overcome but I think knowing it's coming and that I can cope (and that it "doesn't last forever") will help during the exhausting stages/phases.
I'm excited, I'm anxious, I'm overwhelmed (there's still so much to do!!).  And I might partially be in denial.

I had my 34 week appointment earlier in the week with a new-to-us doctor.  So far I'd met 5 out of the 8 doctors that deliver in my OB/GYN group and on Tuesday, we met the 6th.  We first had an appointment in sonography for another growth scan.  Little guy's looking good and is still on track.  I was a little anxious when they said his percentile had gone down a bit, but when we met with the doctor and they said they only really get concerned when the percentile is below the tenth, I really eased up.  (He's in the middle third of the bell curve, for what its worth.)
Back to the doctor, though...from all outside appearances, and by the amount of time we had spent waiting to see this doctor in the waiting room, Greg & I had lost hope of much of an exciting appointment.  Whether we want to admit it or not (and now I'll go on and admit it!), we make judgments based on appearances and this doctor was old, wiry-looking, and have a few funny mannerisms.  I didn't think he'd be very friendly.

However, he shook my hand, sat down, acknowledged this was our first meeting, greeted Greg, and then for the next 20-30 minutes, sort of explained how their practice works, made comparisons between now and 30 years ago (yeah, I guess he's been around that long!), explained what they do now for people of my situation, and what we could expect.  He really laid out the big picture for us, which I sort of had been missing the whole time, including things like why I have not seen a midwife for this pregnancy when they have midwives in the group (my risk level cancels me out from seeing them), and who I'll see on call, and how they figure out what the plan is for peeps like me and what all the additional monitorings really mean.  He was also warmly funny, making jokes about different things here and there and including Greg.
We left feeling very at ease and like he completely erased our preconceptions and as if it'd totally be okay if he delivered our baby when the time comes.

So, the plan is, weekly biophysical profiles until I deliver, and another growth scan in 4 weeks.  I was pleasantly surprised when he said they'd induce at 41 weeks, because I just assumed because of my Lovenox status they'd want to induce earlier, which would not be my preference unless medically indicated.  I'm hopeful and expectant and confident that God will send this baby down at the right time when he needs to come, and while he may not be 3 days early like Mia was, I trust God's timing.

I want to write more, but this is getting lengthy and there are a million other things I could do, so I'll conclude with a few pictures of the bambino for now!  Who is this guy?  And what will he be like??

Loving life, backtracking & all...

We trail blaze every now and then, only to fall off the trail and break twigs and try to figure out our way back.  Toddler Boot Camp was becoming quite effective and Greg & I were noticing serious positive changes until last weekend, when I noticed Mia becoming a tad more clingy and then BAM--fever strikes.
After the fever spiked, then settled, the nasal congestion came on, and while Greg, Mia & I were all struggling in the sleep department, we were popping Aconite, Belladonna, or Pulsatilla, and downing teaspoons of Black Elderberry Syrup (say whaaaat??) trying to keep our immune systems afloat and manage the disarray that occurs between a weekend of sleepiness & snot.  And hey--it worked!  We're all still a bit tired but no one is down & out, thankfully.

Except that Toddler Boot Camp needs a reboot.  No pun intended.  It's fine.  This is what happens. You learn something, apply it, make it work, and then life hits you in the face with a fever, or a new baby, or what have ye, and you readjust.  This.is.how.we.do.

So, while life has been generally tame--I find my mounting to-do list makes me thankful for things to do as opposed to being bored out of my mind and twiddling my thumbs--there is always something to keep  me on my toes.  Namely Mia. ;)

Baby boy is good. He's doing his thing, moving around, having hiccups, switching sides and keeping me occupied when I can't sleep at 2 in the morning.  He threw a dance party for me last night when I had some ice cream, and he's really giving me and Greg a run for our money in the name department.  We have three solid names...first & middle...but can't decide on which on any given day. It's very temperamental.  While the rest of the world won't know until the day he is born as we plan to keep it a secret, maybe we won't either, because we just can't settle.

And there ye have it.  Tomorrow = 31 weeks.  Doing the countdown.

What happens when Mia sets the table

Playing "This Little Piggy" with cousin Abby

30 weeks

Bring it on, September.

Tough Lessons in Parenting...and Tough Love

Which teachers did you like the best growing up?  Those who let the whole class get away with everything, had no boundaries, and never were able to get much accomplished? Or those who had strict rules, which they enforced, and had high expectations of your behavior and output? What about the teacher who let you know the boundaries, and let a little bit of his/her spunky/sweet personality shine through--the teacher you hated to disappoint?
I think my favorite teachers were the latter two.  I needed a little bit of both in my life as a student or an athlete and while at first I may have despised the super strict teacher--once I figured him/her out, we often worked well together.  (I am thinking of a particular cross-country & track coach in this scenario.)

When it comes to parenting, there can be quite the number of differences between what you would do as a parent and what you would do as a teacher, but the similarities can also be astounding.  Having only ever taught one freshmen-level college class, and doing guidance lessons here & there as a counselor, I would say my teaching skills are mostly limited to the kindergarten Sunday school class I've participated in over the past 5-ish years so I don't have the most experience in this arena.

However, sometimes I wish I had stepped into the foray of teaching for just a little bit longer so that I would have a few more tools in my arsenal for how to appropriately set limits for a young one.

How much you change...and teach us
within such a short period of time!
(June 2010)

Without realizing it, I had unintentionally made our home a battle zone for Mia.  I let her choose and dictate many trivial choices--things that didn't seem like they mattered--until it was time for me to make certain decisions for her and I realized she "wasn't having it," i.e., throwing a major tantrum.  Of course, this is flustering and beyond irritating when the wee one strikes out, but it's also a personal blow when you realize you are mostly to blame for the outcome. I should add at this point that both Greg & I parent a little bit differently, and it's usually me she pushes the most (so it seems).

Sleep always has been a war zone for her and us. We've drawn lines many times before, and found success, only to let something creep in that sets us back several stages.  Especially at naptime.  As I said before, she puts up more of a fight with me at naptime than she does with Greg at bedtime.  Now that I'm pregnant, however, and due within the next three months(!), it is imperative that we press the "reset" button on a few of these areas so that life for everyone in our household will hopefully be a bit easier to manage especially when there's one more added to the mix.

I was on the verge of desperation yesterday, and posted for some advice in a Christian moms group I'm apart of on Facebook.  The responses I received were humbling...and encouraging.  It was the type of tough love I didn't want to but needed to hear (and had heard before -- you were right, Mommo)!  Oh, won't that be satisfaction when your child is old enough to tell you that you were right about something? In due time, methinks.

It's only been ONE day, and lest I get ahead of myself I know that all we can work with is today and I shan't set myself up for unlikely expectations, but Mia is getting a dose of tough love, and it's doing something!  And I'm gaining the confidence that this is the right thing for her. The simple things of choosing which cups, or what outfits, or how many options she has at nap time are dwindling.  It appears that by loosening the reins with her--which as I said, seemed okay at first--has really backfired on our locus of control and stability in the home.  And who doesn't need some shalom in the home?  How many times have I actually wished for SuperNanny or a parenting expert to be able to step in and give me real-time advice.  Now I have it and we're moving forward.

Summer 2011

If there's one piece of advice I could give to mommies with babes younger than mine, it is to hold your ground and set boundaries early on, even if they seem unnecessary at the time.  It's easier to give in or tweak a boundary than it is to try take something back.  I would say thus far I've been pretty nonchalant about various aspects of parenting, save a few areas.  It fits me and I like to be easy-going.  However, I have realized for a young child, boundaries and limits are what set the stage for feeling secure and confident and knowing who is in charge.  Knowing "Who's the Boss" is not just 80s TV trivia...it should be a life lesson.  There may be those who respectfully disagree; it doesn't fit your parenting or child development philosophy and you and your child are succeeding just fine as is, and that's wonderful.  But I have learned that for our tough cookie, this is what we all need.

If I could, I wish I could download to my brain, Matrix-style, the parenting skills from the following books, among others:

The Strong Willed Child
Raising Girls
Parenting by the Book
Love & Logic


There's quite a lot going on in my brain right now: personal work I need to attend to; home projects; setting up Mia's bedroom and continuing to prepare for a new baby; considering potty-training(?), etc.,  that reading parenting books feels like extra work.  I'd honestly rather surf the internet or read birth stories than do that.  Or take a nap, let's be honest.  But I need it.  So, if you think of it, share any encouragement you've had with your own children or others about setting limits and being firm, and how that worked out for you.  Knowing others have done it and that I can do it--is truly half the battle in my mind.

Thank ye.  We're much obliged to your kindnesses.

"Welcome to the Real World"

I didn't realize this until yesterday, when Greg pointed it out, but pretty much from birth to adult life, we are told by our parents and authority figures (teachers, administrators, people who care & some who don't), that we are learning these so-called "tough lessons" now so that we'll be better able to handle the future.  It doesn't stop once you get to the next level, either.  He pointed this out as I was telling Mia the reason Mommy & Daddy were being so authoritative with her was so that she would have an easier time with friends and when she goes to school (I'm sure that reason really convicted her as she sat in timeout last night).  I was saying something along the lines of, "Mia, the reason Mommy & Daddy put you in timeout or ask you to do these things is so that you will understand there are boundaries and when you cross them, there can be consequences.  If we didn't do these things, you'd have a hard time at school or playing with friends as you get older or in LIFE."

School's in, for LIFE
Photo Credit

Greg said it reminded him of the lines he used to hear in school from his teachers.  Like in middle school, "It is important you figure this out now, because when you get to high school, there won't be so many opportunities!"
 
And then when you are in high school, your teachers tell you, "In college, they're not going to care who you are or where you're from, you need to get your work turned in and study, because no one's going to give you exceptions."

And then when you are in college, your professors, advisors, and teacher assistants tell you to suck it up, because in the real world, this is how it is and no one cares if you're upset because you can't find your bunny (or your dream spouse, house or job, what have ye) ... learn how to deal with it and move on.

It's not always pleasant to hear these words, but it's true and it's for our benefit.  We have to learn some of the tough stuff early on so we can better deal.  I'm not suggesting we purposely make our lives (or our children's) more difficult, or that we don't deal with them lovingly, but as much as I want to shield Mia from discipline that is no fun for everyone, it is for all of our benefits.  Unruly children, freaked, stressed-out parents...the combination is less peaches n' cream and more like rotting potatoes.  When you  discover the cause, you're a bit disappointed you let the potatoes get to the point, and embarrassed by the smell.

So, yesterday was that day for us.  All's well that ends well (right???), but there was a point (or several points, I should say) during the day where we thought, "She must be getting this by now. She has to be." And then the behavior would resume.  *Sigh*  The days when Greg works from home are a mixed bag: he gets to eat all his meals with us, avoid the commute, and enjoy the "comforts" of home, all the while Mia acts up even more and requires more attention from the both of us.  Needless to say, we were a bit exhausted last night!!

Hip flexors
Photo Credit

In other parts of our world, I'm 27 weeks and almost to the 3rd trimester.  Still unbelievable.  Just this past week, I've started to feel more tired than I recall feeling last time, and my hips have been quite sore. I went to one of my trusty chiropractors [yes, I have 2: one I saw before & while I was pregnant with Mia which is who(m?) I saw yesterday; and a geographically closer family friend whom we all see more often since Mia's birth] and he explained it was probably my hip flexors which go from my belly to the tops of my legs.  When I go from a seated flexed position to standing up, it takes a while for those hip flexor muscles to warm up and I feel stiff.  I'm blaming this on a growing uterus & baby and hoping my muscles catch up soon, because there's really no time to slow down.  It just means whenever I stand up, I do the pregnant waddle for a few steps until it eases up.

Next week, Mia & I are taking a little girls trip to Northern Indiana to visit my parents. We planned this trip over a month ago and I thought the end of August would take forever to get here and now it is almost upon us.  I'm excited to go, but hopeful even with just a direct flight I can manage all the luggage & a 2 year old who likes to say, "Mommy, hold you!" Whatever happens, we'll figure it out.

Alright, onward & upward, right?  Time to eat breakfast....