William's Birth Story (baby #3)

Apparently I started writing this birth story one week after Will's birth and only got up to the part where the first contractions started. Then I stopped writing it. My guess is, either the baby had woken up, another kid needed something, or I decided to catch some z's. Either way, I've verbally shared the story with enough people (or texted it out to curious friends), that I think we'll be able to fill in the gaps! 

Here's the no-holds bar story of Will's birth:

September 9 with pretty much ZILCH activity to speak of

My estimated due date was September 9, 2015. Based on my other two children’s arrival times, I anticipated having this baby anywhere from the end of August up through the due date, but definitely not after!! However, I should have known babies have their own plans. :) 

The weekend leading up to his birth was not necessarily ideal. Gabe, age 3 at the time, unfortunately came down with a really tight case of croup, which wouldn’t let up after a couple of nights. On Saturday, we took him to Urgent Care to be assessed and it was determined he needed some breathing treatments and some steroids (not our favorite, but it was bad enough to merit some medical help for croup for the first time ever). The steroids made him a little crazy, and he ended up not even taking a nap that day. That Saturday night, Greg and I had a chat about some last-minute fears related to welcoming another baby into our family (like, will it mess up the good flow we have already with our 6 and 3 year olds? was this a big, colossal mistake?!) and kind of just reviewed where we were at. I know sometimes babies don't come if they sense momma's not in a good mental spot.

We took a very HOT walk around the neighborhood
 Friday afternoon to try and get things going &
get Gabe some Vitamin D

A little while later after that chat, Gabe woke up in an all-out (what I believe, drug-induced) tantrum. It took nearly an hour to calm him down. He was completely out of his mind and not in control at all. Trying to calm him down only made my belly tighten up, and was very emotionally draining, so Greg finally got him back into his bed and lay down with him. I decided by that point (well past 1am) to lay down and try to sleep...finally Greg returned and he laid down too. A few minutes later, around 2:30am, I started sensing real contractions, after I had probably been asleep about 30 minutes. Greg was finally asleep too, and I didn’t want to wake him up yet, because it had already been such a short night of sleep. With my other two labors, I was blessed to have gone into labor after having had a better night’s sleep, and I had been really hoping for that this time around as well, but when the baby is overdue, and you’re READY to give birth, what are you going to do? I digress…

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt...

I was somewhat in denial these contractions were real but laying down was not making them go away, and they only proceeded to get more uncomfortable. I got up and started swaying my hips around, and woke Greg up around 3am. Bless my mom -- she had come down to stay with us, almost two weeks beforehand because I was just sure this baby was going to come earlier like Mia & Gabe had, and no, the baby decided to stay in longer -- but Greg knocked on her door to let her know what was going on as we were about to leave the house. Greg and I gathered what we could for the hospital bag (that was mostly already packed), while I stopped every few minutes to slow down and breathe through a contraction. Greg called our backup doula, and we got in the car around 4:15am. Right before we got in the car, I grabbed a towel, a big bowl, a cup of ice water, and I ate a banana and a granola bar. I wasn’t sure how much time I’d have before actual delivery, and I wanted some energy since it was the middle of the night and I hadn’t eaten in hours, and I grabbed the bowl and towel because I have a history of puking mid-labor and especially while driving! :(

Our hospital for delivery is about 30 minutes away, but in the middle of the night, when you get to cruise on the expressway, we were able to get there super quick! We spotted a couple of deer as we exited our neighborhood and while we drove down the interstate and I remember wondering if/what that meant and how that was kind of cool to see... Right before I began throwing up that banana I had just eaten and the water I just chugged. Greg was a very good sport to not start throwing up himself. That only happened a couple of more times and I very adeptly dumped the waste at a stoplight about 2 blocks away from the hospital. Woohoo!

When we pulled up to the hospital (around 4:45am), which has valet for pregnant women going into labor & delivery, the valet was SOUND asleep. Like, out. Greg slammed the doors on our car a couple of times to get his attention, and he finally stumbled awake and sprung into action like “Oh hey! I’m here, ready to go! Was totally not sleeping!” Except he was. We were wheeled up to L&D where we met our backup doula, Holli, for the very first time. I had talked to her on the phone the Wednesday night prior and she had my birth plan printed out and was ready to go immediately attending to me, even while I was sitting uncomfortably in the wheelchair in triage working through a contraction.

one word: LABOR

It's gettin' REAL

We were wheeled into our triage room, I changed into even a less attractive hospital gown than I wore with Gabe, if that’s possible, and kept working through contractions. I believe they were at least every 4 minutes at this point, if not even faster. We were waiting for a midwife to come check me before we moved me to a room, but the midwife from my practice was in the middle of a delivery. So, instead, I just hung out in the triage room, either on the bed, or on the side of the bed, going through different laboring positions while they did some quick monitoring of the baby too. Holli, our doula, was giving suggestions for different ways to sit, stand or move, and reminding me to breathe baby down and relax my face. I didn’t know it at the time either, but she was snapping some pictures on her camera as well, which I really appreciated after the fact (I think birth photography is awesome!). After probably 45 minutes of hard labor and waiting for a midwife, one of the nurses came back in and said, “She’s still stuck in a delivery; I’ll just go ahead and check you.” She checked and said I was complete with a bulging bag of waters! I’ll never forget the surprise, shock, and delight I feel when I hear the words, “You’re complete.” Knowing it’s go-time is exhilarating and butterfly-inducing all at once. They asked me if I had the urge to push and I said, “Not yet,” but after the next contraction I immediately felt that sensation. They put my saline lock in and were ready to move me to my labor and delivery room. It was around 5:45 or 5:50am at this point.

It's GO time

Because my midwife was still in a delivery, the nurses were trying to figure out who would be able to help me deliver. There was another midwife from another practice available at the hospital that night so they decided to wheel me into one of her rooms. I literally met her for the first time as they wheeled me in and I was about to have another contraction. Her name was Sandy and she asked me how I wanted to push. I had a moment of complete indecision as I had pushed on my back with my legs up with the other kids but I had been basically on all fours this time around, smushing my face into the pillow on the bed. My doula asked if I wanted to squat for pushing, but since I was in a position I couldn’t imagine physically switching myself from, we stayed on all fours and my NEW-to-me midwife told me to push my butt into her hands. For a first meeting, that was a pretty brazen request! She told me to do it again, as I had been a little apprehensive, but after about half a contraction of pushing that way, I finally pushed past the awkward, and started pushing intuitively and aggressively, in my mental zone. It all happened pretty quickly at this point, but after I started really pushing, the baby descended, then in the next contraction, my water broke (which has never happened without intervention/assistance in the past!), which kind of freaked me out!, and then in the next contraction the baby’s head emerged, and finally during the next contraction, the baby was born!!! If you read that fast, just imagine it happening in your body that quickly, because that’s about how it felt. There was such a flurry of activity around me, but I basically had my eyes closed the entire time as I gripped the pillow on my bed for dear life and was utilizing all my other senses to figure out what was going on. Because I was on all fours, I didn’t visually take in my baby until I heard the midwife ask Greg to announce the sex, and Greg checked and said, “It’s a boy!” all excitedly and cheerfully, and they helped me flipped over and gave me the baby immediately. I was still in shock, but so so so relieved and so happy he was here and looked healthy and good :). The time was 6:04am.

Three Words: Newborn Baby Bliss

Our own kids wouldn’t have even been up for the day yet, and we had just had another baby.

They cut the cord after a little while of letting it pulse, and he was on my chest doing skin-to-skin immediately. Because it all happened so quickly, I felt like I was in a whirlwind and my body had a little bit of a hard time calming down. All the hormones rushing through my body gave me the chills/shakes, so the nurses were bringing tons of warm blankets to wrap around me, which felt wonderful as I snuggled our newest little one, who was yet to be officially named.

#WorthIt

After about an hour and a half, they weighed him and he was 6lbs, 12oz, and 19 inches long. He’s our biggest baby and stayed in the longest too: 40 weeks and 4 days. Once he was weighed, I was good to go for a transfer to our postpartum recovery room, and take a nice little morning nap. Mia was born on a Sunday too, like this kid, and it was nice to rest and have some peace and quiet while the rest of the world was waking up or readying themselves for church activities!

The history behind the name

We discussed his name options on and off throughout the morning--despite having announced his birth and healthy arrival to family and friends--he didn’t have a name yet! “William” had been on our list throughout the pregnancy as a potential boy name, but had also been taken off the list once or twice just due to how popular a name it is. However, it’s a classic name, and a family name (it’s interwoven multiple times on both sides of the family), and most directly, is my dad’s middle name and my brother’s middle name, so, William it was! And Thomas was chosen as a biblical name after one of Jesus’ apostles who believed in the resurrected Christ after having been able to examine Jesus’ resurrected body and exclaimed, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28). Additionally, Thomas is also a family name as well, after Greg’s deceased grandfather. So, Will’s name is rich with family and biblical history and we announced his name to family and friends in the early afternoon. Thankfully, no one balked at it ;)

A couple of interesting notes about the delivery…

This was my 3rd birth, and my 2nd hospital birth. It went so quickly and even though I didn't have much windup time in terms of labor, I was really thankful for the supportive people involved: Greg, my doula, who handed out copies of my birth plan, my stand-in midwife and my group's midwife who came in later to congratulate me (she had a delivery with a retained placenta)! They all helped things flow quite smoothly.

The doula also used some essential oils during labor to help me not be too nauseated as I had thrown up on the way to the hospital in the car, and she used peppermint on Greg when he got a little light-headed right before I began pushing. He said he recognized the sounds I was making from the other 2 labors and knew pushing and birth were imminent and it was gettin' REAL and he had to go lay down! (Yes, on the floor of the delivery room.) Thankfully the nurses were on it right away and pointed a fan at him, gave him some juice, my doula popped open the peppermint oil and some honey sticks, and he was able to not totally pass out and miss the birth! His favorite part was getting to announce the sex since it had been a surprise. We both got to do skin to skin as well afterward, which is not something he'd done before but we knew we wanted to incorporate. The hospital honored ALL of our wishes and is considered "baby-friendly," and never tried to take away, bathe the baby or push any interventions or procedures we didn't want. In fact, when they wheeled us to our postpartum room I was happy to hear that they only expected baby to feed 4-6x in the first 24 hours and that he'd likely be sleepy (yes, mom and baby both)!! We were able to be discharged after 36 hours, which was also my fastest turn around time too!

Despite the “waiting” for Will, he was worth the wait and be it due to this being our third time around doing this newborn thing, or his nature in general, has been a very easy-going baby! We are so blessed by him and the older kids began loving on him immediately. My mom was able to stay a few more days to help things be in good order before heading back home, and Gabe eventually got over his sad, pitiful croupy cough and life began as a family of five.

Photo by Aubree Clark Photography

Can't stop won't stop

It's gonna be another fun summer with these kids...

Looking at this rusty old blog space makes me a tad nostalgic. It was maintained so well during my children's younger years (which, for the record, they are still young), but with life amping up as we entered school for my oldest, and just life amping up in general, it has quite obviously taken a sad backseat. I know they say time flies and cherish those younger years with your kids because they're over before you know it, and it's sort of really true. I downloaded the app TimeHop a couple of months ago, because, why not? And it stuns me when pictures from 6 years ago show up and it's a little baby Mia in her bouncy seat...it doesn't even seem fathomable that she was a baby 6 years ago. Where has the time gone?

I feel for moms who are in the thick of it with a toddler and a baby--it is really a nonstop work. And not that my situation isn't nonstop either, it really, seems to get busier and busier, but the mental fortitude and attention that is required starts to shift. They don't need my constant attention. Sure, they want it, but it's not always required.

What's going to change though? Baby #3.

As I announced on my other blog a couple of months ago (which, sadly, has gone on hiatus as well!) is that we are expecting baby number three at the end of the summer (late August or early September, likely)! I'm already 28 weeks so that means I've hit the unbelievable point of my 3rd trimester, which is alarming, exciting, and mind-blowing.

Some of our fav things to do at HHI, SC

My oldest child graduated kindergarten this year, and the week after school let out, we went on a family vacation to Hilton Head Island, SC, with some good friends of ours. I looked at that trip as the "dawning" of summer for our family, and I figured it might be one of the only excursions/trips we take this summer, because I figured we'd be busy getting ready for the reality of a baby coming at the end of summer, but I gotta say...
The summer's flying by faster than I expected. Just like last year, it's filled with tons of good things like seeing family, going to the pool, participating in Stroller Strides, Mia's doing developmental swim team (where she works with a coach and other kids to learn strokes; it's not competitive!), and just finding time to chill as a family, it's amazing to me how blazingly fast it's all going by. Before I know it, it will be July, and then August, and if I don't have a baby by the end of that month, I for sure will be having one in the next month (Lord Willing)!

It'll be interesting to return to babyland. Mia will be in 1st grade, and Gabe will be 3, almost 4, when the baby's born, so while they are two and a half years apart, there's obviously been a bit of a lag between these kids and this next one. I'm thankful to have two older helpers (right?!) but it'll be another mind-shift for me as a mom. We've gotten really used to, and have enjoyed, being on the go a lot and doing fun things and going with the flow, and I just have a feeling that while this baby might have to go with the flow as well, we may also be slowing down. And that's okay. There's a time for everything. So I'm just going to enjoy the time we have left as a family of four and hopefully in doing so, allow my mind and body to mentally and spiritually prepare for becoming a family of five! It won't really be real to me, until it's real.  So, here we go :)

25 weeks in HHI with a little sidekick who wanted in on the action

Kindergarten graduate, whaaat!!

Have you added a kid to the crew when your other kids were already a bit bigger? I know they look small in these pictures but they seem big to me! How was your transition/experience? What did you love; what were you not prepared for?

Coming up on 12 months...

a sweater for my Caribou mug :)

This week is full of memories for me. It was just a year ago I was getting ready (but didn't know it'd be so soon!) to welcome Gabe into the world.  And I think fall just creates a sense of "good vibes" for everyone.  Even if the leaves don't change very much here, there is a change in the feel outside and everyone, including myself, enjoys the letdown from the constant heat in Florida.  With all the weather changes on the eastern seaboard, it seems we are cooling down over here and everyone's pulling out the sweaters and boots - my kids are no exception.

I've been on the hunt for many things over the past week - items for Gabe's birthday party, halloween costumes, my friend's baby shower, and getting prepped for the holidays to come. It's been a fun time and it's helping me get in the spirit - even if sometimes all the work gets me a tad overwhelmed.  'Tis the season!

We found this wagon at Goodwill last Friday when I was looking for Halloween costumes for Gabe. It was only $3. How could I say no? Now I'm curious about finding a bigger wagon I can pull both of them in.  It's been a hit around here.

We got some new boots for Mia. It was time for an upgrade.  Girl must know fashion because she was insistent on wearing them almost immediately.  These are from Target, available in dark brown and black. (pictured: dark brown)

My old roomies are both pregnant and would you know there are 3 babies in this picture? Yes, LP is having twins!! Both a boy and a girl. Andrea is due in March, expecting a little chica!

More babies!! My 2nd oldest brother and his wife Allison welcomed baby McKaber "Mack" last week. He is so cute, although we need to visit him again really soon.  He was only hours old in this picture.  Can't believe Gabe is just about a year older than his cousin...it won't be very long till hopefully he and Mack are palling around!

In other news, Gabe's birthday and party are this Saturday!  Once he is officially 1, I think it will feel a little strange to think of him no longer as a baby - but he is still a baby to me!  I am starting to see some toddler behavior break through though - little outbursts here or there when he doesn't get what he wants, a little back-arching, and wanting to be on the move all the time.  It used to be when we shopped, Mia was the tricky one to handle and Gabe would just lay in his carseat or calmly sat in the infant seat.  Now, he is squirming to get out and Mia is telling me what she thinks looks good or what she wants. Jr. Shopper & Jr. Mover.  That's what we have going on right now.  Shopping trips may need to be reevaluated in the future and Gabe might be riding in the babyhawk lest he finagle his way out of the straps in the cart and topple out! :-O  
Or, I just might not go shopping ever anymore.  Probably the best solution for all of us.  ;)

Loving the little days...

As we start to say goodbye to the month of September, I realize we're closing the gap on Gabe's first year. Come October, he'll be 11 months, and before I know it, 1 year old in November.  This has been one of the fastest years of my life.  If I'm honest with myself, I'd have to say I'm going to be kind of sad to see it go.  Babies are only babies for so long!

To quote from a poem:

by Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Not me.

The days are long, but the years are short. If you need me, I'm gonna be with these peeps for a while...

fell asleep on me at a potluck - tired bebe

anticipating a playdate

sweet kids holding hands in the stroller

Zoom Zoom Zoom

Somehow, and I really haven't figured this one out yet, but somehow, we've crept up to 9 months. Today, my little baby boy is 66% of the way through his first year and has almost matched his time time in the womb with his time outside the womb (38 weeks).  It just keeps on zoomin'.

Because of the time of the year, I am reminded about what I was up to about this time last year. It's just how I do.  We were still prepping for this baby boy.  We were still hunting for clothes and things that he would make his own, that would somehow define "Gabe." Now that he's been here so long (!), he no longer needs definition.  He's just such a sweet, happy, cuddly little boy. I'm not sure I want him to grow up.

Mia, on the other hand, well, she is growing up a bit too fast too.  She's always hung out on the small side, but I do declare her limbs seem to be growing at an incredibly fast rate as far as I can tell.  Whenever I check on her sleeping in her room, I see more of a little girl and much much less of a baby. I also realize I need to stop calling her a toddler.  She is NOT a toddler anymore. She's a little girl.

She is also picking up more conversational tidbits and types of humor in her daily dialogues.  "Mommy, I really want you to do this, okay?" (Wonder where she heard that line??)  She even did a mashup of "be careful little hands what you do" with "if you're happy and you know it."  Girl's got a melodic brain, that's fo' sure.  And I love that she's just a little bit silly.

I have a friend who is constantly reminding me to enjoy these times with them as they're little, because it goes by too fast.  As they get older and become more and more independent, Greg and I have been able to enjoy a few more outings with just the two of us, but it's just a tad bizarre to realize Mia is already the older sister telling the babysitter or family member where things are, or how we do things, and Gabe is the little guy falling asleep on someone else at bedtime. It's just a tad bittersweet.

It's Olympic time and we've been watching some of the events with Mia, which has prompted some gymnastic-like moves from her, and a new wardrobe ensemble.

Monday morning, while Greg was getting ready for work, Mia appeared in our room donning this outfit saying she was doing gymnastics.  The imagination is already flowing and it's crazy to see what they pick up on and how inventive they become to make something happen.
(She also called the rainbow rice above "pepper" and pretended she was mashing potatoes. Methinks just a few Paula Deen episodes have influenced these pretend-moments.)

There are definitely some days that drive me up the wall, when I think we've completely lost our marbles (and in many cases, we probably have), but we're zooming on through. Fakin' it...till we make it.

My experiences with a birth doula...

Recently, I was asked to provide a reference for the birth doula I used for both Mia and Gabe. Partly for my own benefit (I love to write and chronicle events), and partly for my brain's benefit so I could reduce my experiences down into an actual reference letter, I spit out the story of how I met my doula (most likely will be released as a sitcom, sometime...never).  You can read all about it...here (editor's note, because it spans about 3 year's time, 'tis a tad lengthy):

Just a little biographical history first...
In early winter 2008, I went with my friend in nursing school to a special screening of “The Business of Being Born” at USF.  I went with her out of simple curiosity. I wasn’t pregnant nor was I expecting to be anytime soon, and I was not particularly opinionated about it. However, while watching the film, I began to realize how amazing and powerful giving birth could be, if surrounded by the right people and in the right environment. Then and there, I decided that whenever it might be my time to bring life into the world, I would do what I could to have it be as peaceful and empowering as I saw it could be.
After the screening, there was a panel discussion with OBs, nurses, midwives and doulas. I remember listening to one of the doula groups there and thinking, “If I ever got pregnant, I think I’d want her to be my doula.”  It was a woman with a mild Southern accent and fierce blue eyes.  i just preserved these thoughts until the time came...

Little did I know, about 8 months later I’d be finding out I was pregnant and expecting our first child.  After switching from a regular OB/GYN office to a local birth center, I began educating myself even more on how to best succeed at natural childbirth, particularly as a first-timer.  I saw handouts in the lobby at the birth center about doulas, so one day at an appointment, I asked the midwife whom she recommended, and she referred me to Touched by an Angel. It was her immediate response and so I called the number on the brochure, got in touch with Stefany (the “other” Stefany who owned TBA at the time), and within days, she and Stephanie were at my door, ready to meet me and my husband, go over any questions we had, and share with us their practice, plans and procedures.

As soon as I opened the door to the two Stephanies, I realized these were the exact women I had observed only a year earlier at the screening of the Business of Being Born. It could not have been more providential, I thought!  And the Stephanie with the Southern accent was the doula I was going to be using, after my husband and I confirmed we did want to work with them. Thus, our working relationship began.

My experience with Stephanie was and has been tremendous. I relied on her for the rest of my pregnancy in answering lots of questions I had, preparing myself for childbirth, and utilizing her knowledge of natural medicine to combat some of the late-term pregnancy issues I encountered: high blood pressure, leg cramps, dizziness, etc.  She assisted myself and my husband greatly one night as I thought I was preeclamptic. She stayed calm and directed us to go straight to the hospital, where we were checked out, and thankfully determined to not be preeclamptic.  She was with us each step of the way and seemingly always available via text or a phone call.  I still doubted myself quite a bit in the beginning as a first time mom; I questioned my ability to be able to birth naturally, but Stephanie never questioned it.  It was like she knew I’d be able to do it, but she also knew and gently reminded me that should things change, it was all within the realm of “we can handle this, and that will be okay.” There was never any shame or insistence that to deviate from our preferred plan meant failing.  It was a great balance between having a calm, confident assurance while also staying flexible to the ever-changing needs during pregnancy, labor & delivery.
When it came to the real labor day, Stephanie was a real asset to both me and my husband.  Once we realized things were actually happening, she came over to our house and observed me for a while, much of the time interacting with my husband to get a sense of how I’d been doing and what he had seen -- this was a big help for him as well as he had obviously never attended a birth. She helped us determine when it was time to get to the birth center and followed us there. While there, she remained a calm, gentle but assertive presence, ever determined to help me get my labor in the right direction. We spent hours walking, squatting, hovering over a toilet, in the bathtub (the last two, of course, I did by myself!), working together, with my husband as well, to get my baby ready for her debut.  She watched my physical cues and also knew when I needed to eat, drink, or take a breather.  

When it was finally time to push, both my husband and I were a little overwhelmed at the realization our baby girl was about to enter the world.  Because we were at the birth center, she was able to provide us with different tinctures and natural remedies to help us handle all the emotions that can accompany labor. She gave me Skull Cap, and him Rescue Remedy (I believe) to help him handle the emotional stress so that he could help me get through the pushing.
Within minutes, our baby girl was born, and she was there to help us with latching and all the components that follow after a delivery.  Her job was not over yet.  Far from it.

There were some unique things about our birth that required extra attention--things you can never predict. Our baby was born at a very low birth weight--unfortunately too low for the birth center to allow us to go straight home with our baby. She had to be seen by a doctor that very night, so we had no choice but to take her to the hospital.  She and the midwife helped us work with a hospital to figure out where to take her, and she kept in touch with us throughout the night as we were there at the hospital.  Since she was so small, she made recommendations as to what to do to help her eat and feed, and she came over the next day to help me with latching.  It took a few days but eventually, everything was ruled out for our baby girl and we were able to take her home and start our new lives as parents.  

Technically, you are given as much emotional and physical support as you need from your doula, during your pregnancy, delivery, and the first 6 weeks after.  
I found her support to be much more lasting than that.  

Again, unexpectedly, two weeks after our child was born, I found my leg to be in a lot of pain.  I had also been dealing with back-to-back rounds of mastitis. I really was pretty miserable and feeling pretty guilty over my postpartum situation. A low birth weight baby, breastfeeding problems on top of infections, and now my leg hurt so bad I couldn’t walk very well. I desperately wanted things to get figured out and be okay. I told Stephanie what I was experiencing and she encouraged me to get checked out soon by the midwives. Based on what my chiropractor had said there was suspicion I had a blood clot, but I didn’t really understand what it all meant at the time.  The midwives surmised this as well, and within hours, I had an ultrasound on my leg, which confirmed a deep vein thrombosis.  This was utterly surprising as my only “risk factor” was the fact that I had been pregnant. I did not meet other typical characteristics of those who had blood clots. However, Stephanie has special experience in this area, because she herself has a blood disorder (APS) and she knew all the precautions I needed to take. After that experience, which I sought medical treatment for, I consulted with Stephanie on all the things I should take to build my immune system and naturally thin out my blood. She was a warehouse of knowledge I wouldn’t have had access to if it weren’t for the fact that she had been my doula.
Because of her, I feel like I was able to turn my health around I began to rely more and more on her for treatments to even everyday issues like stomachaches, baby fevers, and diet consultation.  It was truly a lifesaver.  

Without a doubt I knew if we got pregnant again, I’d be calling Stephanie.  And so we did.

Our second time around, we knew we would be in the hospital because of my history with a blood clot.  I was even more jazzed about using Stephanie because I knew she had an arsenal of experience in hospital settings and had even more knowledge now because of her nursing training.  She had also completed a course in Kangaroo Kare, which helps mom and baby bond immediately after birth, thus improving breastfeeding success rates.  This was highly important to me as I really struggled with this the first time around.  

Throughout my pregnancy, I regularly texted with Stephanie about my dr’s appointments, the various doctors I’d met with, my medication regime, any ongoing issues I was experiencing, like nausea, heartburn or the like, and she was always available to chat with me or give me suggestions. We’d really built a good relationship by this point in time.  
We met with her again to discuss our birth plan, go over our remaining questions (and since we were having a hospital birth, we still had a lot!) and talk about how we anticipated the “birthday” to go.  

Before we knew it, it was go-time. I had kept Stephanie in the loop, so she knew that there was a possibility I could deliver early, and sure enough, I did.  
As I started my labor, I let her know what was happening, and just like she had done before, she came over to observe me and it didn’t take long for her to know that it was time to make our way to the hospital. She rubbed a special labor oil on my belly before we left and then followed us in her car and was ready to meet us at TGH.
Her familiarity with the hospital and its staff made a big difference as she was able to advise us on what to do and how to handle things, and their familiarity with her allayed any fears I had about bringing a doula to the hospital.

Things went just as smoothly as they had before, even with my inexperience with the hospital birthing system.  The great thing about Stephanie is she keeps her cool and remains calm no matter what. Once we were past triage, Stephanie helped me figure out how to get back into what I call the “labor zone.”  She suggested getting into the labor tub in our hospital bathroom, dimmed the lights and even provided soothing birthing music, which eased my transition back into focusing on labor. For the next few hours, she and my husband just provided emotional and some physical support as I moved around in the tub, sat on the toilet, and waited for the doctor to check me again.  Although I don’t remember this, she told me later she reapplied labor oil to my belly again during the middle of my labor.

While your body sort of takes control in labor, it is nice to have someone there as a guide or source of knowledge for comfort and reassurance.  When the doctor came in later, he checked me and said my bag of waters was still intact and I was 8cm dilated, but fully effaced.  He gave me two options: break my bag of waters and labor would probably speed up right away, or let it break on its own, and wade through labor possibly a couple hours longer.  I asked him for a minute to consult with Stephanie and my husband, and discussed the pros & cons with her.  Having her there for a reality check and a quick discussion (is this risky? is this okay?) helped me confidently make the decision to have my waters broken.

Within minutes, I was ready to push. And minutes after that, my baby was born! It was an incredible experience and I was so delighted to have succeeded again in a natural delivery with minimal intervention.  She helped me and my husband get ready for and excited about delivering again, she was a positive force in the labor and delivery room as we worked through distractions and needed energy and focus during the pushing, and she guarded me and my new baby “like a hawk,” to ensure that bonding and breastfeeding was able to happen smoothly after delivery.
I held my baby for at least an hour after he was born, and delayed the newborn bath and assessment. I wanted to get to know him as much as possible and improve our chances at breastfeeding success as much as possible, and Stephanie’s assistance with that made a strong impact.  Latching on is a little difficult for my babies at first, but it eventually happened and I’m thankful to report he is a great breastfeeder at 6 months. 

Once again, I was thankful for her presence and assistance.  She checked in on us at home days later to see how everything was going, and this time they were going even better than they were with our first baby.
I still rely on her for various tips, homeopathic remedies, and natural healthcare consultation (all via text)! I love that we have formed a relationship that now spans over 3 years and has helped me grow as a mother.  If you’re looking for someone that knows the ins and outs of the medical system, hospitals, has attended numerous births of all kinds (home, birth center, hospital, cesareans), and is a reliable, dependable, punctual and extremely knowledgeable resource, then I wholeheartedly recommend Stephanie as your doula!

Your baby is HUUUGE!

Mia at 4ish months

Good words I didn't know if I'd ever hear :P

So maybe I grow small babies in the womb but once they "pop out" as Mia says (she borrowed that terminology from The Very Hungry Caterpillar, thank you!), these babes seem to grow!

Gabe had his 4 month check-up on Friday and here were his stats:
16.02 lbs (75th percentile)
26.5 inches (90th percentile)
and 75th percentile for head circumference (I don't have that exact measurement)

check out that chubby midriff //
Gabe at 4ish months

Everything else looked good, despite a little nasal congestion, some funky remaining umbilical cord stubble (his belly is so chubby I never see inside his belly button until I bathe him - which is honestly, infrequent), and cradle cap.  I asked about his spitting up and it seems that since he gains weight so well, it's just a physiological reflux and not to worry about it--hope that's the case! And oh yeah, keep massaging his tear ducts since they seem clogged.  So, while that sounds like a LOT, it actually makes for a worthwhile appointment, otherwise it's just checking his vitals, a quick meet & greet with the doc, and that's it.

He's a good eater, a pretty good sleeper (every baby/kid/person has their days...and nights), and generally happy, so I think we'll keep him.

Which is probably good for him, because if I ever leave his presence, he somehow still finds me, hones in on me, and gives me this look:

Gabe's very serious and studious mommy-don't-leave-me look

Another Mia at 4ish months

Having said all that though, he seems to be having trouble staying settled tonight, so I best be going... 

The Baby Days

[Disclaimer: This is totally one of those blogs that hipster people of the blog world make fun of, because it's like a play-by-play of our days and probably completely over the top, e.g., "and then, we walked outside, and I opened the mailbox, and grabbed the mail, and threw the junk into the recycling bin, and then I opened the garage door, ad nauseum, ad nauseum, BLA BLA BLA." But as Greg noted to me personally, most of this is for my own record.  So BOOM. Enjoy!]


Things are going and moving along as they should.  We're really in a good groove right now and I couldn't ask for much else, save my recent intolerance to eggs (a once favorite food of mine)!  I'm investigating that and considering various possibilities* but for now my mornings are starting off with some soaked oatmeal and a little coffee and then this is generally how the rest of our day unfolds...
(I'm documenting this now, because the newborn/baby days tend to be a blur and I know I'll forget this if I never record it)


Mia tends to wake up around 7-7:30am, and if Gabe hasn't woken up prior to that (anywhere between 4-6:30am), he'll usually wake up by then, if not usually by 8.
He'll feed, Mia will be done watching whatever morning show Greg hooks her up with (usually Sesame Street) so he can get ready for work, and she and I will eat breakfast [she usually eats toast, fruit, or "noats" (oatmeal), or sometimes a smoothie or a muffin I've previously made].  I have lately been scarfing down {soaked} oatmeal every morning with a little cup of joe and some cream and that tides me over for a while.

Then, if there's not some other pressing obligation, I'll start doing laundry or cleaning up the kitchen or if those are somehow miraculously taken care of, I'll get ready to go out (although sometimes we never go out)!  After breakfast is when at-home duties are attended to, or when we get ready to head out for an errand or a playdate, or sometimes when dinner prep begins (if a crockpot meal or meat needs thawing.)

Helping Gabe in the Bumbo

For a while there, we were getting out every single day. I call it part of my "save-my-sanity-postpartum-plan," but it really only lasted for a while as I began to realize it was an unsustainable practice that left me on the go just a bit too much and a little drained, with stressed-out hungry kids (Gabe included). So now, even though I still love and need to get out during the day and see the rest of civilization, we do it much less frequently and on more of a relaxed schedule.  If it works, it works, and if it doesn't, well then, we just make do.  I've tried to be more purposeful in my grocery shopping so that we have more of what we need at home and don't have to make trip after trip to the store.
It was definitely one thing when it was me and Mia and we could "quickly" (in toddler-speed) run into a store and grab something, or even peruse the aisles a bit longer and have fun, but it's another thing when you're hauling an infant either in his carseat or in a baby carrier.  There's just more to mentally attend to and it makes quick trips just not-so-quick.

So now, we only get, if possible, 1-3 mornings a week.  There's usually at least one grocery store visit, and one morning where I have a girls bible study and Mia and Gabe come with me.  Occasionally we go to the chiropractor, have a playdate with other toddler friends, and every other Tuesday we dash out early in the morning to pick up farm fresh eggs and dairy products.  While I tend to loathe getting up early Tuesday mornings for this pickup, it's good for getting us out of the house while life is hustling around us, and oftentimes I stop at Target or Nutrition S'mart (a health food store) on the way back while Gabe is still snoozing and Mia's well-enough entertained and finish any other shopping we may have.

Miles of Smiles after an outing

We eat lunch anywhere between 11:30am and 1pm, and I feed Gabe one more time before naptime, and swaddle him, put him in his swing, and get Mia ready for naptime.  Right now our process is to read 2-3 (short) books, say a prayer, sing some (short) songs and I leave, and Mia goes to sleep pretty soon thereafter after playing with her baby doll and/or singing to herself.  Thankfully, Mia is handling naptime so much better these days than she was months ago.  I think the whole Mommy-is-having-a-baby-and-there's-so-much-change was harder on the both of us than I realized, and her fiery resistance really reared its ugly head at naptime.  So much so, I thought we were doomed.  However, most days now I'm thankfully seeing her nap for about 2 hours and our lives are all much the better because of this.  Usually when I walk out of her room, Gabe is peacefully snoozing in his swing and he'll sleep extra long in the afternoons.

I don't know what I'm going to do when he outgrows that swing, because it's my saving grace every afternoon!  He'll nap in his bouncy seat or in his crib in the mornings, but he won't take very long naps in his crib in the afternoons.  I just don't know how to transition him into that just yet and I'm okay with him in the swing as long as it works.  I guess when it stops working for us, we'll reevaluate and move on to the next thing (which would be the crib, I guess).  He is swaddled for his afternoon nap and at night.

Caught sleeping!

Mia tends to wake up between 4-5pm and we get a quick snack, check the mail, and she likes to watch another show.  Right now she is really into "Max & Ruby," based off the books by Rosemary Wells.  It's a pretty cute show, but she's obsessed with it right now.  "I WANNA WATCH MAX!!!"  It's been so nice out though, that even though I love that Gabe sleeps so long in the afternoons, it'd be a nice time to take a walk before dinner.  It's really the best time of year in Florida.

Greg tends to get home between 5:30 and 6 and if dinner isn't started by then it usually will be by the time he gets home.  You could say our roles are very traditional right now -- something I never imagined years ago knowing myself, but it just works for us.  Dare I admit it, it's just better for us this way!  Gabe is usually awake for dinnertime, and then we might do some light activity after dinner, and then it's usually bathtime for Mia (and occasionally Gabe), then bedtime with Daddy, and I get Gabe ready for bed too.  He doesn't always go to bed as early as Mia does, but lately there have been more times when it's syncing up than not.

Making a cake from scratch with Daddy -
Happy Valentine's Day to ME!

Getting Gabe down isn't tricky in the sense that it's hard for him to fall asleep, but sometimes it's hard to know when he's done eating.  He may fall asleep after eating, only to cry a bit when I lay him down, so I try to feed him one more time to make sure he's totally full, offer him his pacifier and lay him down in his crib.

Thus far, he's been much easier to put to sleep at night than Mia was.  I attribute that to a) us as parents being a bit more chill, relaxed but purposeful about "sleep training" and b) Gabe's temperament.  He just seems more calm.  He doesn't necessitate lots of coaxing and coddling as much as Mia did, although the other night he seemed legitimately fussy and just needed to fall asleep in my arms in the dark.  After having a rough time with Mia (which, bless her heart, much of it was our fault in creating bad habits), we are so thankful -- at least for the time being -- that Gabe is an easier sleeper.

He's a longer sleeper too, something I'm also not taking for granted.  While he has occasional regressions, like he did a few days ago, last night he slept from 10 to 7:30am!  He's such a good little guy and having had Mia first, I know how blessed I am to get that much sleep.  His sleep regressions the other night meant he got up 2 times in between 10 and 8.  It's always just a stage, which is what I keep telling myself.

Having two now means a few different things.  For one, I've realized it's really easy to overdose on just taking care of the baby. At first, that's all I really could do, and I was glad we had extra hands around to take care of Mia.  But now I realize they are both my responsibility and while Gabe sometimes has more pressing concerns than Mia does, I can't let her feelings and her need for emotional connection and support fall by the wayside.  That's something I'm trying to be more purposeful about.

Totally unscripted senior-picture like poses of
Mia with her baby in the Moby wrap // LOVE!

Secondly, as I alluded to before, while I enjoy being on the go, and Mia does too, I've realized for feeding and sleeping purposes, it is just not a schedule I can constantly maintain.  It also is not very restful for me, and I find it physically draining. So, forcing myself to slow down has actually been a very good thing for our tiny people and for me.

Thirdly, I've realized it is actually making our days more purposeful.  It's forcing me to be a tad more organized, whether that means with meal-planning or designating my days to do x, y, or z.  I can't do everything in just one day so I have to spread out my tasks.  Even though I've been mothering for almost 3 years now, I think I took for granted some of the free time I had with just one child and I didn't have to plan as much.  Now, I plan and carve out my time a bit more carefully.  And I stand in awe of women with more than 2 kids.  Do tell me, how do you do it?  I'd love to know and learn from you.

We have good kids and good health and a good life.  It is really a good, blessed time in life. I couldn't ask for much more...maybe a little reprieve from my own brain, but that's about it ;)  Naps are good, too.

*One of my considerations is trying the full GAPS diet, if even for a few weeks or a month to see if it reverses my egg sensitivity and improves what I believe might be eczema on Gabe's arms (not bad, very mild).  If you have any interest in trying it with me, please let me know! I could use a buddy in this diet experiment!

Growing into The Mommy Life

A couple of weeks ago I ran into a former acquaintance from FC and while we were talking, she paused and asked me, "So, tell me, do you love being a mom?" and for the first time in a while I didn't hesitate to say, "Yes, I do!" I still have problems admitting that at times; there's an internal fight with the Megan of yesteryear and the Megan that I am today.  You see, it wasn't so long ago I didn't think mothering would be in the cards for me...

When I look back at my youth, I sometimes think I thought too much and I thought about all the things moms "have" to do, and to be honest, I looked at my own mom's life and thought, "Wow, everyday, it's the same thing." Not that my mom didn't do it joyfully, because to be honest, I never really saw her complain.  But it was up in the morning, getting the kids going, cleaning up the kitchen, doing laundry, paying bills, running errands, shuffling kids (I guess since we were all spaced out it wasn't always all 4 of us at once!), making dinner, cleaning the kitchen again and if she was lucky, sitting down for a minute.  As a feeble-minded youth, I just didn't see the fun in it.  And of course, I was selfish. More of self, and less of Thee.  I was immature.

And then (I know I talk about it frequently but to blog is semi-therapeutic and I'm constantly reevaluating this, since it's been the biggest catalyst in my life for change), after I realized there are a few good men out there--aside from family members and good-friends-who-were-boys that I just couldn't fathom settling down with--and Providence landed me with Greg, I figured we had a few more years before the childbearing began.  Hahahahahahaha.  God really laughed at that plan, just as he laughed at my plan to finish my grad school internship right after we got married so that we would only be a single-income family for about one college semester.  Looking back I figured there was a purpose for that setback, to not be in school full-time, or not be interning, or not be earning any real money.  I didn't know when I'd realize it or when I'd figure it out and I still don't know if I fully understand it all, but it taught me one thing.  My timing isn't always God's timing, even if it stinks.
Of course, when I did finally graduate, and got a job, and then almost immediately got pregnant, I think I really felt out-of-control.  The best laid plans oft go awry.  Could that not be a life statement for most of us??

When we lose our locus-of-control, often our "happiness" or internal contentment diminishes.  And this is what I think about often.  I didn't immediately enjoy motherhood because I wasn't prepared for it. I didn't think it was in the cards in the short-term future.  I was not in control.  I was not willing to accept what I thought I'd be giving up.  And do you know how hard that is to admit?  Aren't young Christian women supposed to yearn for the call of motherhood? Is it considered selfish to not desire that role instinctively or immediately?  Well at least for me, those instincts hadn't kicked on just yet.  It had nothing to do with my own mom or other mothers around me, yet I felt guilty for feeling that way, like I was offending their being.  Before we got married and talked about kids, I figured the desire to be a mom would grow the longer we were married.

And in the middle of all that, Mia was born, and her birth was great, really really great.  There's not a single thing I would change about that.  When I reflect on it, it was such a serene, peaceful and beautiful day when my world was literally rocked.  The day I became a mother.
But I can't change what all happened after that.  It was rough. Really really rough.  And having Gabe's birth experience and the days thereafter to compare with Mia's, I realize just how different things could have been, but weren't. I realize now why I wasn't immediately happy as a new mom.  I unfortunately had some lingering baby blues.  So, when you're asked that infamous question, "Don't you loooove being a mom?", I almost resented it.  How could you ask me that??  It hurt.  She's small. I feel guilty.  I can't figure out this breastfeeding thing. I feel guilty. I keep getting sick. Why won't I get better? And I have a blood clot. What's wrong with me?  Pounding. Pounding. Pounding.

It gave me little chance to bond with a tiny, precious baby girl who is growing up into a delightful, strong child.  And I just didn't know how to be.
Finally, though, I got back some sense of control.  I found some purpose and I found some structure.  I found a community, and God gave me a group of people with whom I could work along side and feel productive. I felt useful, even if I was in a totally different role than I'd planned.  And to this day, it is still a little embarrassing to admit all those feelings that I had, but as a former counselor, I know you need to honor those feelings, or at least let them pass through, many times in order to move on.  You don't have to act on the feelings and actually BE selfish toward your child, or drop your responsibilities and walk away, but you can acknowledge them, have your peace, and move on.  And that's what I'm doing. Which is why I think I am enjoying the mommy life.  It is the toughest, highest calling I've ever known.  But these two munchkins are my arrows that will eventually be getting ready to launch, and just as God does a work in me, I have a work to do in them.

Let me do right by them. 

Gabe's Birth Story, Part II

If you missed Part I of Gabe's Birth Story, click here.

[Disclaimer: If you're a dude, one of my brothers, or generally uninterested in the minute details of a woman's real, live, all-natural birth, then you may want to skip this one!  All you need to know is posted at the end of this story (which means you'll have to skim through it and see totally safe pictures anyway). /End disclaimer.]

So, where did we leave off last?  Oh yes, that's right...we were beginning the drive down to TGH.

Since it was midday, traffic was slim to nil and we cruised down the interstate and took the Crosstown to get on over to the hospital. Dealing with contractions in the car is never fun, but it's part of the ballgame so I just rolled with it as much as I could.  As soon as we got to the hospital and began the valet parking experience, I started contracting again. I'm sure the valet men see it all the time: women trying to exit their cars only to find themselves stalled in an unusual standing position, working through a contraction.  Yes, that was me.

The next little bit was sort of a blur to me, as I just wanted to get all the business of triage behind me and focus on the rest of my labor, but I was taken by wheelchair to triage, with Greg and Stephanie, our doula, aside us, where we began the triage process. A nurse came in and checked me and said I was between 4-5 cm and almost completely effaced (was it 75%?).  On my chart she put a 5 and they admitted me.  We were able to get a room with a birth tub, which also happened to be overlooking the bay and as far as labor and delivery rooms go, it was pretty nice! Very scenic.  Not that I spent much time looking over the waters and considering the deep abyss that lies below, though.
Once we were admitted in the room, the doctor for the day stopped by and shared his greetings and went over the plan: I would labor for a few hours and then he would come check me again and see how things were progressing.  And if they weren't progressing, we'd talk about what to do next.  That little addition at the end was slightly worrisome as I didn't want to consider that there could possibly be any other options than this baby exiting my body the way nature intends but I didn't really let my mind go there. I just said okay and worked through more contractions.  For some reason unbeknownst to me, while we were in our room, a couple of nurses had to go through this laundry list of questions that were really irksome to me to have to answer.  Why these questions, why now?? Fortunately, Greg answered most of them and I just tried to get as comfy as I could while I waited for them to leave.
While they were wrapping up, my doula rubbed some labor oil and another aromatherapy blend on my belly (which she also had done before we left the house, and did a couple more times during labor) asked if I was ready to get into the birth tub. That sounded really good right about then, so I said yes and Greg, Stephanie and I made our way into the bathroom (sounds funny in retrospect) and with a little assistance I got into the tub.

Ahhhh....immediate relaxation.  Well, as much as one can relax in labor.  Something about laboring in water is quite soothing and chillaxing, and by that point (the rush of the morning, getting to the hospital, being triaged, being asked silly questions), I was ready for things to calm down a bit. Sometimes getting in the tub stalls labor for some women; I learned that at the birth center, but I was okay with a little stalling if I meant I could have some time to breathe and get a grip on things again.
I spent a good while in the tub--at least an hour--working and breathing through contractions, and telling myself to let the baby down and out when I was working through a tough one. I tried to visualize each contraction doing something purposeful--moving the baby down--so that I wouldn't fight it.  My doula played some music on her phone (New Age Essentials on Pandora if you're looking for some good birthin' music!) and turned off the lights so that it was very peaceful.  She and Greg just kind of observed while this happened and were there to provide support or chat with if I felt like it. But I can tell you from 2 birth experiences now, I rarely feel like chatting during labor!

There came a point when I felt it was time to get out, so I got out of the tub and sat on the toilet -- almost the exact same sequence I had in Mia's labor -- for a while to see how things felt out of the water.  And it was more intense.  I sat there for a few minutes until I heard that the doctor would be coming back in soon to check on me.  I couldn't believe it had already been a few hours, but it was and I gradually made my way out of the bathroom and to the bed. I must pause here and say my nurse was amazing. She stayed totally out of the way, and when she needed to check the baby on the monitor every so often, she wheeled the machine as close to the bathroom door as possible and strung out the cord as much as it would stretch so she could place it on my abdomen without my having to move hardly an inch!  She was very accommodating.  I also only had a heplock on my arm so that I could move around without being attached to a pole--that was all by request, too.

I was waiting for the doctor to come in and my contractions felt less and less tolerable.  I was getting antsy and kind of annoyed he wasn't there yet.  I thought he was coming; I got out of the bathroom and out of my zone to be checked and here I am uncomfortable just waiting on this bed!! Where's he at?


Finally he arrived, checked me, and said I was at 8cm.  Eight centimeters? Only eight? To be honest I was a little disappointed. For all that time I had spent laboring and knowing my labor with Mia lasted about 12 hours total, I was fully expecting this show to almost be done.  He said my bag of waters was still intact and at this point there were 2 options: break my bag of waters and we'd probably see a faster arrival of the baby, or wait it out and let my body do it on its own, which would probably take longer.

I asked him if we could briefly discuss it, so I spoke with Greg and my doula and I told them, "I'm ready for this to be over; maybe we should just break it?" and my doula agreed that at this point, it wasn't as risky an intervention, as normally I would not necessarily accept an artificial rupture of the membranes (to learn more, read here). In my case, since we were so close to the end, it can help speed dilation. We called him back in and said we would break it, so he scrubbed up and got the items he needed to do that and it broke. Being graphic here--it felt like a really really warm gush of water flowing out of me, almost a relief, followed by a very strong, intense and mighty contraction.  That contraction about sent me over the edge and I was ready to jump out of my own body and off that delivery table.  I felt that little baby's body come down strong and I felt an urge.  My nurse checked me after the next contraction and said I was fully dilated and complete and she called the doctor back in.  He had originally come in the room just after 4:30, broken my bag of waters some minutes after that, and was supposed to be off-shift at 5pm, but when he heard that I was complete and ready to push he came back in, got his delivery scrubs on, moved the bed a bit, changed the lighting, and called the newborn baby nurse.  This is when things got REAL and I was still in shock that this was really happening.

I remember Greg and Stephanie looking at me excitedly.  "This is it! We're about to push this baby out and meet him!" I'm sure that's what their faces meant.  In my head though, I was still thinking, How are we gonna do this? Do I remember how to do this? What if I have one of those agonizingly long pushing phases that lasts hours upon hours? Dare I say I watched a few too many birth shows this time around and despite pushing Mia out in probably 30 minutes, I just did not know if I would be so lucky this time.  The nurse and my doula helped me get my legs into position, and Greg was back by my head encouraging me through the process.
I will say that at the first pushing contraction, I pushed like a newbie. I'm embarrassed to say I screamed a bit and my nurse had to lovingly get in my face and tell me not to scream and that I needed to use my legs more for leverage and focus on where I was putting my energy in pushing so that it was most effective.

During the next contraction or two I started to figure it out and pushed as much as I could using all the coaching I was getting. I was following my own body's cues as well as the feedback from the whole delivery team.  Let me just tell you it is hard to push a baby out!  Our bodies were designed to do this, I truly believe, but getting the baby through that birth canal ain't necessarily always an easy business.  Once I started focusing on the task at hand, the process really worked itself out.  I'm still amazed at how short a time it took for the baby to work his way down and out.  With lots of excitement and positive feedback from the nurse, our doula, and Greg, after another contraction he was crowning, and by the next contraction he slithered his way out and was HERE!  All in all, it probably only took 10-15 minutes with probably 4 pushing contractions for Gabe to be born. I was
lucky
blessed!

They immediately placed the baby (who had to be named) on my abdomen with a towel and we gently scrubbed him off a little while he lay there. He was very calm and content as much as I can remember, and all I felt after he was born was this feeling of sheer relief and shock--much as I did with Mia--that this labor was OVER!  I was so thankful and Greg said I kept on saying, "Thank goodness, thank goodness, thank goodness!" as soon as he was delivered.  It's incredible how you go from one extreme while you're pushing (please let us be done with this business soon!) to incredible joy and pride as soon as the baby arrives.

first moments with mommy

happily posing with our newest addition

If you're a male reading this and get queasy easily then skip this paragraph...the placenta very quickly was delivered after that, and was a healthy red color, much different than Mia's.  What a relief to see it in such better condition and not to have to stand up and squat to deliver it like I did with Mia. Not fun!

The medical team really respected our wishes that the baby and I be skin-to-skin for the first hour, and let us bond and just chill while he and I were both checked out post-delivery.  I finally got a good look at him after the doctor left and realized he looked like a Gabe to me, which is the name we were both leaning towards the entire pregnancy.  Greg agreed and so we chose the name Gabriel Charles.  Gabriel is a Hebrew name, which means "God is my strength," and is the angel in the bible who told Mary she would be Jesus' earthly mother.  Charles is Greg's middle name and his maternal grandfather's name.  So, like Mia, Gabe has a family name, a biblical name, and his initials match Greg's like Mia's match mine!

hat crocheted by our doula

just after his newborn assessment

After the first hour, Gabe was given his newborn bath and assessment and we found out he was 6 pounds, 2.5 ounces and 19 inches long.  I was pretty jazzed to have broken the 6 pound mark, which was my "goal" this time around.  For the next little bit, we just hung out as a family and waited for Mia to arrive with Aunt Allison and Aunt Amanda, and Gabe just cuddled up with his while he was swaddled.

first family of 4 photo

About two hours later, we were transferred to our recovery room in a different area of the hospital and got to hang out as a whole family for a while before Mia went back home with Aunt Allison.

She quickly got accustomed to him, even though in this picture she clearly seems more interested in the Burt's Bees chapstick than she is of her little brother.  Right away she was trying to share items with him and she wanted to see his hands and his feet.  It didn't take her long at all to assume the big sister role.  

To "evaluate" the hospital birth as compared to the birth center birth, Greg and I were really pleased.  Our entire medical staff was very accommodating and respectful of our wishes. Our nurse was jazzed we were going all-natural.  There were never any tense heated moments or disagreements about our intentions or our wishes.  Everything was respected, even letting the cord pulse a little bit longer than may be usual before it was clamped and cut.  I later found out Greg accidentally left the birth plan in the car (oops!!) so he had whispered all our requests and preferences to the nurse during that "annoying" question and answer period when we first taken to the delivery room.  

I can safely say as much as we were able, we almost had a birth-center like birth at the hospital.  There are a few things that are impossible to compare, like the clinical nature of the hospital to the home-like nature of the birth center, or working with a midwife versus a doctor, but as far my actual labor & delivery experiences goes, I felt respected, heard and validated.  Which makes it sound like it's all about me, but I know from enough research, women can have feelings that linger for years regarding the birth experience they didn't get.  All of that was important to me, and for my feelings about my baby, and I'm very thankful our prayers were answered.  

So really, if you made it this far, or if you're just skimming the story, all you really need to know is, thanks to God, Gabriel was delivered safe and sound. Sigh.Of.Relief!