Organic or Conventional? 4 reasons to still choose organic

Organic or Conventional, what's the difference?
Well, according to the most recent news off the block from Stanford, apparently not much. This summary of the research, from a NY Times blog, explains, 

"A new study by Stanford researchers has added fuel to a debate about the differences between organic and conventionally grown foods. The Stanford report, an analysis of 237 studies of organic produce, meats and dairy foods, concluded that organic foods are no more nutritious than their conventional counterparts."

When I first heard the report, I initially thought, "Okay, well then I guess I shouldn't feel so bad when I do eat conventional produce, which is probably 40-50% of the time" (based on what I buy according to EWG's Dirty Dozen list).  But the more I got to thinking about it, the more irked I was. I don't believe the study was funded by outside sources, so hopefully there are no conflicts of interest, but here is why buying organic, when available and possible, is worth your while:

1. There's no "safe level" of pesticides for our bodies, regardless of what the FDA says. Yes, our bodies were created in an amazing way to weed out nasty things and release toxins, but the environment, processed foods, needless drugs and antibiotics often take their toll on our bodies, making it harder and harder for organs such as our livers to do their jobs.  Choosing organic means one less toxic thing we put into our bodies and one less thing our bodies have to wrestle with, and many have reported whether it's anecdotal or scientifically documented, improvements in health upon switching to organic.
2. Choosing organic means you're not supporting GMO or genetically modified foods.  These are foods, which as the name suggests, are genetically changed so that the foods are bigger, different colors, or so that apples won't turn brown when cut open.  GMO is a really hot topic right now, and if you want to learn more about it, see here: Millions Against Monsanto
3. Choosing organic can often mean you're supporting a smaller-scale family farm or at least a farm committed to not contributing to the toxic effect we all feel from pesticides and nasty chemicals in our land, water, and food.  I'm not a farmer, but the fewer chemicals we have around us, the better.
4. Pesticides are connected to ADHD and other diseases.  It is especially important for a pregnant or nursing mother to remove as many pesticides from her diet and choose organic when she can.  Occasionally, I feel silly for trying to ensure that most if not all of Gabe and Mia's fruits & veggies are organic (again, according to EWG list), but when I realize all the other things they're up against in this world, it's just one other protection I can offer.

There are surely more reasons than just these four, but they are the first that came to mind. 

For now, I'm going to continue to buy organic when I can, based on availability and finances.  It might not always be possible, and the Dirty Dozen list changes yearly, so things will always be in flux, but I don't think this new Stanford finding will change much of what I do.

What about you?  Do you buy organic?  Conventional? How has this new Stanford report affected your thinking about buying organic?

The Baby Days

[Disclaimer: This is totally one of those blogs that hipster people of the blog world make fun of, because it's like a play-by-play of our days and probably completely over the top, e.g., "and then, we walked outside, and I opened the mailbox, and grabbed the mail, and threw the junk into the recycling bin, and then I opened the garage door, ad nauseum, ad nauseum, BLA BLA BLA." But as Greg noted to me personally, most of this is for my own record.  So BOOM. Enjoy!]


Things are going and moving along as they should.  We're really in a good groove right now and I couldn't ask for much else, save my recent intolerance to eggs (a once favorite food of mine)!  I'm investigating that and considering various possibilities* but for now my mornings are starting off with some soaked oatmeal and a little coffee and then this is generally how the rest of our day unfolds...
(I'm documenting this now, because the newborn/baby days tend to be a blur and I know I'll forget this if I never record it)


Mia tends to wake up around 7-7:30am, and if Gabe hasn't woken up prior to that (anywhere between 4-6:30am), he'll usually wake up by then, if not usually by 8.
He'll feed, Mia will be done watching whatever morning show Greg hooks her up with (usually Sesame Street) so he can get ready for work, and she and I will eat breakfast [she usually eats toast, fruit, or "noats" (oatmeal), or sometimes a smoothie or a muffin I've previously made].  I have lately been scarfing down {soaked} oatmeal every morning with a little cup of joe and some cream and that tides me over for a while.

Then, if there's not some other pressing obligation, I'll start doing laundry or cleaning up the kitchen or if those are somehow miraculously taken care of, I'll get ready to go out (although sometimes we never go out)!  After breakfast is when at-home duties are attended to, or when we get ready to head out for an errand or a playdate, or sometimes when dinner prep begins (if a crockpot meal or meat needs thawing.)

Helping Gabe in the Bumbo

For a while there, we were getting out every single day. I call it part of my "save-my-sanity-postpartum-plan," but it really only lasted for a while as I began to realize it was an unsustainable practice that left me on the go just a bit too much and a little drained, with stressed-out hungry kids (Gabe included). So now, even though I still love and need to get out during the day and see the rest of civilization, we do it much less frequently and on more of a relaxed schedule.  If it works, it works, and if it doesn't, well then, we just make do.  I've tried to be more purposeful in my grocery shopping so that we have more of what we need at home and don't have to make trip after trip to the store.
It was definitely one thing when it was me and Mia and we could "quickly" (in toddler-speed) run into a store and grab something, or even peruse the aisles a bit longer and have fun, but it's another thing when you're hauling an infant either in his carseat or in a baby carrier.  There's just more to mentally attend to and it makes quick trips just not-so-quick.

So now, we only get, if possible, 1-3 mornings a week.  There's usually at least one grocery store visit, and one morning where I have a girls bible study and Mia and Gabe come with me.  Occasionally we go to the chiropractor, have a playdate with other toddler friends, and every other Tuesday we dash out early in the morning to pick up farm fresh eggs and dairy products.  While I tend to loathe getting up early Tuesday mornings for this pickup, it's good for getting us out of the house while life is hustling around us, and oftentimes I stop at Target or Nutrition S'mart (a health food store) on the way back while Gabe is still snoozing and Mia's well-enough entertained and finish any other shopping we may have.

Miles of Smiles after an outing

We eat lunch anywhere between 11:30am and 1pm, and I feed Gabe one more time before naptime, and swaddle him, put him in his swing, and get Mia ready for naptime.  Right now our process is to read 2-3 (short) books, say a prayer, sing some (short) songs and I leave, and Mia goes to sleep pretty soon thereafter after playing with her baby doll and/or singing to herself.  Thankfully, Mia is handling naptime so much better these days than she was months ago.  I think the whole Mommy-is-having-a-baby-and-there's-so-much-change was harder on the both of us than I realized, and her fiery resistance really reared its ugly head at naptime.  So much so, I thought we were doomed.  However, most days now I'm thankfully seeing her nap for about 2 hours and our lives are all much the better because of this.  Usually when I walk out of her room, Gabe is peacefully snoozing in his swing and he'll sleep extra long in the afternoons.

I don't know what I'm going to do when he outgrows that swing, because it's my saving grace every afternoon!  He'll nap in his bouncy seat or in his crib in the mornings, but he won't take very long naps in his crib in the afternoons.  I just don't know how to transition him into that just yet and I'm okay with him in the swing as long as it works.  I guess when it stops working for us, we'll reevaluate and move on to the next thing (which would be the crib, I guess).  He is swaddled for his afternoon nap and at night.

Caught sleeping!

Mia tends to wake up between 4-5pm and we get a quick snack, check the mail, and she likes to watch another show.  Right now she is really into "Max & Ruby," based off the books by Rosemary Wells.  It's a pretty cute show, but she's obsessed with it right now.  "I WANNA WATCH MAX!!!"  It's been so nice out though, that even though I love that Gabe sleeps so long in the afternoons, it'd be a nice time to take a walk before dinner.  It's really the best time of year in Florida.

Greg tends to get home between 5:30 and 6 and if dinner isn't started by then it usually will be by the time he gets home.  You could say our roles are very traditional right now -- something I never imagined years ago knowing myself, but it just works for us.  Dare I admit it, it's just better for us this way!  Gabe is usually awake for dinnertime, and then we might do some light activity after dinner, and then it's usually bathtime for Mia (and occasionally Gabe), then bedtime with Daddy, and I get Gabe ready for bed too.  He doesn't always go to bed as early as Mia does, but lately there have been more times when it's syncing up than not.

Making a cake from scratch with Daddy -
Happy Valentine's Day to ME!

Getting Gabe down isn't tricky in the sense that it's hard for him to fall asleep, but sometimes it's hard to know when he's done eating.  He may fall asleep after eating, only to cry a bit when I lay him down, so I try to feed him one more time to make sure he's totally full, offer him his pacifier and lay him down in his crib.

Thus far, he's been much easier to put to sleep at night than Mia was.  I attribute that to a) us as parents being a bit more chill, relaxed but purposeful about "sleep training" and b) Gabe's temperament.  He just seems more calm.  He doesn't necessitate lots of coaxing and coddling as much as Mia did, although the other night he seemed legitimately fussy and just needed to fall asleep in my arms in the dark.  After having a rough time with Mia (which, bless her heart, much of it was our fault in creating bad habits), we are so thankful -- at least for the time being -- that Gabe is an easier sleeper.

He's a longer sleeper too, something I'm also not taking for granted.  While he has occasional regressions, like he did a few days ago, last night he slept from 10 to 7:30am!  He's such a good little guy and having had Mia first, I know how blessed I am to get that much sleep.  His sleep regressions the other night meant he got up 2 times in between 10 and 8.  It's always just a stage, which is what I keep telling myself.

Having two now means a few different things.  For one, I've realized it's really easy to overdose on just taking care of the baby. At first, that's all I really could do, and I was glad we had extra hands around to take care of Mia.  But now I realize they are both my responsibility and while Gabe sometimes has more pressing concerns than Mia does, I can't let her feelings and her need for emotional connection and support fall by the wayside.  That's something I'm trying to be more purposeful about.

Totally unscripted senior-picture like poses of
Mia with her baby in the Moby wrap // LOVE!

Secondly, as I alluded to before, while I enjoy being on the go, and Mia does too, I've realized for feeding and sleeping purposes, it is just not a schedule I can constantly maintain.  It also is not very restful for me, and I find it physically draining. So, forcing myself to slow down has actually been a very good thing for our tiny people and for me.

Thirdly, I've realized it is actually making our days more purposeful.  It's forcing me to be a tad more organized, whether that means with meal-planning or designating my days to do x, y, or z.  I can't do everything in just one day so I have to spread out my tasks.  Even though I've been mothering for almost 3 years now, I think I took for granted some of the free time I had with just one child and I didn't have to plan as much.  Now, I plan and carve out my time a bit more carefully.  And I stand in awe of women with more than 2 kids.  Do tell me, how do you do it?  I'd love to know and learn from you.

We have good kids and good health and a good life.  It is really a good, blessed time in life. I couldn't ask for much more...maybe a little reprieve from my own brain, but that's about it ;)  Naps are good, too.

*One of my considerations is trying the full GAPS diet, if even for a few weeks or a month to see if it reverses my egg sensitivity and improves what I believe might be eczema on Gabe's arms (not bad, very mild).  If you have any interest in trying it with me, please let me know! I could use a buddy in this diet experiment!

Growing into The Mommy Life

A couple of weeks ago I ran into a former acquaintance from FC and while we were talking, she paused and asked me, "So, tell me, do you love being a mom?" and for the first time in a while I didn't hesitate to say, "Yes, I do!" I still have problems admitting that at times; there's an internal fight with the Megan of yesteryear and the Megan that I am today.  You see, it wasn't so long ago I didn't think mothering would be in the cards for me...

When I look back at my youth, I sometimes think I thought too much and I thought about all the things moms "have" to do, and to be honest, I looked at my own mom's life and thought, "Wow, everyday, it's the same thing." Not that my mom didn't do it joyfully, because to be honest, I never really saw her complain.  But it was up in the morning, getting the kids going, cleaning up the kitchen, doing laundry, paying bills, running errands, shuffling kids (I guess since we were all spaced out it wasn't always all 4 of us at once!), making dinner, cleaning the kitchen again and if she was lucky, sitting down for a minute.  As a feeble-minded youth, I just didn't see the fun in it.  And of course, I was selfish. More of self, and less of Thee.  I was immature.

And then (I know I talk about it frequently but to blog is semi-therapeutic and I'm constantly reevaluating this, since it's been the biggest catalyst in my life for change), after I realized there are a few good men out there--aside from family members and good-friends-who-were-boys that I just couldn't fathom settling down with--and Providence landed me with Greg, I figured we had a few more years before the childbearing began.  Hahahahahahaha.  God really laughed at that plan, just as he laughed at my plan to finish my grad school internship right after we got married so that we would only be a single-income family for about one college semester.  Looking back I figured there was a purpose for that setback, to not be in school full-time, or not be interning, or not be earning any real money.  I didn't know when I'd realize it or when I'd figure it out and I still don't know if I fully understand it all, but it taught me one thing.  My timing isn't always God's timing, even if it stinks.
Of course, when I did finally graduate, and got a job, and then almost immediately got pregnant, I think I really felt out-of-control.  The best laid plans oft go awry.  Could that not be a life statement for most of us??

When we lose our locus-of-control, often our "happiness" or internal contentment diminishes.  And this is what I think about often.  I didn't immediately enjoy motherhood because I wasn't prepared for it. I didn't think it was in the cards in the short-term future.  I was not in control.  I was not willing to accept what I thought I'd be giving up.  And do you know how hard that is to admit?  Aren't young Christian women supposed to yearn for the call of motherhood? Is it considered selfish to not desire that role instinctively or immediately?  Well at least for me, those instincts hadn't kicked on just yet.  It had nothing to do with my own mom or other mothers around me, yet I felt guilty for feeling that way, like I was offending their being.  Before we got married and talked about kids, I figured the desire to be a mom would grow the longer we were married.

And in the middle of all that, Mia was born, and her birth was great, really really great.  There's not a single thing I would change about that.  When I reflect on it, it was such a serene, peaceful and beautiful day when my world was literally rocked.  The day I became a mother.
But I can't change what all happened after that.  It was rough. Really really rough.  And having Gabe's birth experience and the days thereafter to compare with Mia's, I realize just how different things could have been, but weren't. I realize now why I wasn't immediately happy as a new mom.  I unfortunately had some lingering baby blues.  So, when you're asked that infamous question, "Don't you loooove being a mom?", I almost resented it.  How could you ask me that??  It hurt.  She's small. I feel guilty.  I can't figure out this breastfeeding thing. I feel guilty. I keep getting sick. Why won't I get better? And I have a blood clot. What's wrong with me?  Pounding. Pounding. Pounding.

It gave me little chance to bond with a tiny, precious baby girl who is growing up into a delightful, strong child.  And I just didn't know how to be.
Finally, though, I got back some sense of control.  I found some purpose and I found some structure.  I found a community, and God gave me a group of people with whom I could work along side and feel productive. I felt useful, even if I was in a totally different role than I'd planned.  And to this day, it is still a little embarrassing to admit all those feelings that I had, but as a former counselor, I know you need to honor those feelings, or at least let them pass through, many times in order to move on.  You don't have to act on the feelings and actually BE selfish toward your child, or drop your responsibilities and walk away, but you can acknowledge them, have your peace, and move on.  And that's what I'm doing. Which is why I think I am enjoying the mommy life.  It is the toughest, highest calling I've ever known.  But these two munchkins are my arrows that will eventually be getting ready to launch, and just as God does a work in me, I have a work to do in them.

Let me do right by them. 

Loving life, backtracking & all...

We trail blaze every now and then, only to fall off the trail and break twigs and try to figure out our way back.  Toddler Boot Camp was becoming quite effective and Greg & I were noticing serious positive changes until last weekend, when I noticed Mia becoming a tad more clingy and then BAM--fever strikes.
After the fever spiked, then settled, the nasal congestion came on, and while Greg, Mia & I were all struggling in the sleep department, we were popping Aconite, Belladonna, or Pulsatilla, and downing teaspoons of Black Elderberry Syrup (say whaaaat??) trying to keep our immune systems afloat and manage the disarray that occurs between a weekend of sleepiness & snot.  And hey--it worked!  We're all still a bit tired but no one is down & out, thankfully.

Except that Toddler Boot Camp needs a reboot.  No pun intended.  It's fine.  This is what happens. You learn something, apply it, make it work, and then life hits you in the face with a fever, or a new baby, or what have ye, and you readjust.  This.is.how.we.do.

So, while life has been generally tame--I find my mounting to-do list makes me thankful for things to do as opposed to being bored out of my mind and twiddling my thumbs--there is always something to keep  me on my toes.  Namely Mia. ;)

Baby boy is good. He's doing his thing, moving around, having hiccups, switching sides and keeping me occupied when I can't sleep at 2 in the morning.  He threw a dance party for me last night when I had some ice cream, and he's really giving me and Greg a run for our money in the name department.  We have three solid names...first & middle...but can't decide on which on any given day. It's very temperamental.  While the rest of the world won't know until the day he is born as we plan to keep it a secret, maybe we won't either, because we just can't settle.

And there ye have it.  Tomorrow = 31 weeks.  Doing the countdown.

What happens when Mia sets the table

Playing "This Little Piggy" with cousin Abby

30 weeks

Bring it on, September.

Tough Lessons in Parenting...and Tough Love

Which teachers did you like the best growing up?  Those who let the whole class get away with everything, had no boundaries, and never were able to get much accomplished? Or those who had strict rules, which they enforced, and had high expectations of your behavior and output? What about the teacher who let you know the boundaries, and let a little bit of his/her spunky/sweet personality shine through--the teacher you hated to disappoint?
I think my favorite teachers were the latter two.  I needed a little bit of both in my life as a student or an athlete and while at first I may have despised the super strict teacher--once I figured him/her out, we often worked well together.  (I am thinking of a particular cross-country & track coach in this scenario.)

When it comes to parenting, there can be quite the number of differences between what you would do as a parent and what you would do as a teacher, but the similarities can also be astounding.  Having only ever taught one freshmen-level college class, and doing guidance lessons here & there as a counselor, I would say my teaching skills are mostly limited to the kindergarten Sunday school class I've participated in over the past 5-ish years so I don't have the most experience in this arena.

However, sometimes I wish I had stepped into the foray of teaching for just a little bit longer so that I would have a few more tools in my arsenal for how to appropriately set limits for a young one.

How much you change...and teach us
within such a short period of time!
(June 2010)

Without realizing it, I had unintentionally made our home a battle zone for Mia.  I let her choose and dictate many trivial choices--things that didn't seem like they mattered--until it was time for me to make certain decisions for her and I realized she "wasn't having it," i.e., throwing a major tantrum.  Of course, this is flustering and beyond irritating when the wee one strikes out, but it's also a personal blow when you realize you are mostly to blame for the outcome. I should add at this point that both Greg & I parent a little bit differently, and it's usually me she pushes the most (so it seems).

Sleep always has been a war zone for her and us. We've drawn lines many times before, and found success, only to let something creep in that sets us back several stages.  Especially at naptime.  As I said before, she puts up more of a fight with me at naptime than she does with Greg at bedtime.  Now that I'm pregnant, however, and due within the next three months(!), it is imperative that we press the "reset" button on a few of these areas so that life for everyone in our household will hopefully be a bit easier to manage especially when there's one more added to the mix.

I was on the verge of desperation yesterday, and posted for some advice in a Christian moms group I'm apart of on Facebook.  The responses I received were humbling...and encouraging.  It was the type of tough love I didn't want to but needed to hear (and had heard before -- you were right, Mommo)!  Oh, won't that be satisfaction when your child is old enough to tell you that you were right about something? In due time, methinks.

It's only been ONE day, and lest I get ahead of myself I know that all we can work with is today and I shan't set myself up for unlikely expectations, but Mia is getting a dose of tough love, and it's doing something!  And I'm gaining the confidence that this is the right thing for her. The simple things of choosing which cups, or what outfits, or how many options she has at nap time are dwindling.  It appears that by loosening the reins with her--which as I said, seemed okay at first--has really backfired on our locus of control and stability in the home.  And who doesn't need some shalom in the home?  How many times have I actually wished for SuperNanny or a parenting expert to be able to step in and give me real-time advice.  Now I have it and we're moving forward.

Summer 2011

If there's one piece of advice I could give to mommies with babes younger than mine, it is to hold your ground and set boundaries early on, even if they seem unnecessary at the time.  It's easier to give in or tweak a boundary than it is to try take something back.  I would say thus far I've been pretty nonchalant about various aspects of parenting, save a few areas.  It fits me and I like to be easy-going.  However, I have realized for a young child, boundaries and limits are what set the stage for feeling secure and confident and knowing who is in charge.  Knowing "Who's the Boss" is not just 80s TV trivia...it should be a life lesson.  There may be those who respectfully disagree; it doesn't fit your parenting or child development philosophy and you and your child are succeeding just fine as is, and that's wonderful.  But I have learned that for our tough cookie, this is what we all need.

If I could, I wish I could download to my brain, Matrix-style, the parenting skills from the following books, among others:

The Strong Willed Child
Raising Girls
Parenting by the Book
Love & Logic


There's quite a lot going on in my brain right now: personal work I need to attend to; home projects; setting up Mia's bedroom and continuing to prepare for a new baby; considering potty-training(?), etc.,  that reading parenting books feels like extra work.  I'd honestly rather surf the internet or read birth stories than do that.  Or take a nap, let's be honest.  But I need it.  So, if you think of it, share any encouragement you've had with your own children or others about setting limits and being firm, and how that worked out for you.  Knowing others have done it and that I can do it--is truly half the battle in my mind.

Thank ye.  We're much obliged to your kindnesses.

Lessons you learn the hard way

I love my little girl. I really do.  She's sweet, funny, active, loves to dance and listen to music.  She embodies a lot of the characteristics I'd want in a person or a friend.  But she's also two, and with that comes a lot of character-shaping and redirecting.  It's exhausting at times.
I was reminded just how different each stage of parenting is when we visited with our friends, the Childresses, this past weekend in Alabama.

Rylann is just 3 months old, and aside from all the feeding difficulties Kristen had had with her (which she put up with like a CHAMP), and Rylann's intolerance to a certain formula, she pretty much sleeps through the night and is generally agreeable.  For an infant, that is like a winning combo.  It doesn't get much better than that.  She seems perfect right now, even if she isn't (To Will & Kristen: I am in no way saying "she isn't!").  It makes me realize sometimes things were really good when I thought they were hard.

So, people ask me if I'm excited about a new baby.  I am, but to be honest, for better or for worse, I really haven't thought a whole lot about it.  I've thought more about what I/we need to teach and share with Mia before a baby arrives.  I've thought about all the house projects we'd like to get done this summer, Lord Willing.  I've thought about how I want to make the most of these months before things flip around again.  Because a baby pretty much rocks your world, and toddler tries to control it! :P

I'm thankful for where we are, but sometimes the lessons and the patience hit you pretty hard.  I guess it's a good place to be ... for a time.

Ecclesiastes 3

A Time for Everything

 ¹ There is a time for everything, 
   and a season for every activity under heaven:

 ² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

And I am seeking wisdom, contentment & peace during these times...our family depends on it.  

Coming Home

View Larger Map

2815 miles

For the last 12 days, our family was in a bit of a time warp.  Somehow at lightning speed, we started our travels from South Florida and made it all the way up to northern Indiana, only to come back down to Tennessee for a while and journey on back through sweet home Alabama.  

When we pulled up to our exit last night after getting off I-75, I said to Greg, "Doesn't it seem like we just left here??" I vividly remember the last minute stops we made the former former Wednesday night before we really pulled out of town -- getting gas, some cash & a quick bite to eat -- before we plugged in a quick trip to Warner Robins, GA.  After that, I guess it was all history.

We had a great time while we were away.  Yes, yes, we did have 2 long-suffering nights with Mia, which bookended our trip (and had a common theme so I think we uncovered its culprit), but other than that, nothing catastrophic occurred (thank goodness), although I can let Greg tell you about what happened on I-465 in Indiana.  

Road trips with a child can be thorny territory at times.  The first long road trip we ever did with Mia took far longer than needed ... but subsequent road trips have been a breeze.  This past week, as we skirted Mia on 6-hr adventures from state to state, Mia held up pretty well.  She might have screamed "NO!!!" at some people more times than we would have liked, or had a few meltdowns here or there, but in general we were able to pass the time fairly well.

Much gratitude given to this guy:

The DVD player.  It's a mixed blessing, you could say.  But as we just flipped Mia's carseat around now that she's 2 (you could technically keep her flipped until she's 35 lbs), it is a helpful way to pass the time when you're driving on boring interstate.  And she even fell asleep to it once too (score: you skip the whiny/tired phase).

It's not something we want to utilize 24/7, nor do we want her to think it's the only way to pass the time in the car, which is why we listened to music, looked for trucks, motorcycles, and animals while we drove to keep her interested and not going stir-crazy.  Yeah, we are patting ourselves on the back.

But hands down, the best part of our trip was seeing everybody. I personally loved talking with all my Wiley sisters-in-law & KT every day the weekend that we were in Indiana.  Mia got to see her uncles again and Uncle Luke taught her how to shoot a Nerf gun.  She saw Jackson graduate (modeling positive behavior, no?).  She saw both sets of grandparents in IN & TN and was upset when she could no longer ride in their cars again.  "Mommo's car?" in Indiana. "Granddad's car?" in Tennessee.  She hung out with her 2nd cousins in Indiana and for a second I considered hiring them out in November when baby #2 is due to watch over her because she pretty much thought they were the coolest thing e'er.  

We said goodbye to the Wiley guys as they went on their bike trip to celebrate Jackson's graduation...and then packed up our things to move on...

In Tennessee, Mia had a blast with her Granddad. She really enjoyed her time with him & would start doing their infamous, "AHHHHHH!" upon detection of his presence.  Nana's schedule was obviously limited due to her school schedule, but we all made the best of it on the weeknights & they "got" to watch her for us Friday night.  

Mia also stopped by Nana's school Friday for a special treat!

Jamming @ the Fergs'

We had dinner with our long-time friends, the Fergusons, in Nashville Thursday night and loved the reunion.  Here's where I insert the sappy sentiment: Some friends just feel like family.  Even though they're miles away and we haven't been able to hang out on the regular in FOUR YEARS!  

Friday during the day we met up with "Great Aunt Ann" & her sons (Greg's cousins) at CFA. Mia played with them in the playhouse for probably 2 hrs while we got to talk with Ann.

Friday night I met one of Greg's long time HS buddies & we got sushi with he & his wife and then toured Big Kenny's studio.  Yeah, that's where Greg's buddy works.  Not your typical Friday night for us!

Saturday as we launched southward to Alabama, we hung out with the Moores in Alabama who treated us to both lunch & dinner!  It was so nice to eat real food after being on the go so much.  Jenn puts the "sweet" in sweet home Alabama -- the very model of southern hospitality!

Then, we hopped back into the car to head to Dothan, our last stop, where the perfect late night hosts greeted us.  The Childresses really were the perfect end to our trip, because they didn't care we arrived at 11, or that Mia wanted to hang out with all of us till 1:30, or that we snooped around for a toaster Sunday morning.  Mia thought their baby Rylann was the neatest thing and after we had church & lunch with Will, Kristen & Rylann, we drove like the wind back to Tampa and Mia slept almost the whole way! (4 out of 5.5 hrs). 

 

And then, there was today.  Major recovery, clean-up the nasty kitchen day and run a few errands.  Mia was so tuckered out after her trip, but she's sort of forgotten our normal naptime routine, so very late in the afternoon, she ended up on my shoulder, finally asleep, and then I smoothly slid her off my shoulder onto our bed.  And started blogging. 

So that's where we are now.  She's awoken. We're going to eat dinner and probably head to the park to ensure she's legitimately tired for bedtime tonight.  

/The END!

Better. Much better.

Since Friday, unless my memory is serving me poorly, things have gone well with the Mia meister.  We've had our timeouts, our talks, our following-through, our good naps, and she's even done better drinking milk out of a cup, if even for 1/4 of the time.  (That's an altogether different subject, though!)

As I learn this parenting thing, I am reminded of the various teachers I encountered growing up.  Some were strict, some were way too lax, some were from another planet, and some were really good.  Even some of the strict ones were really good.  I think at first, you meet a teacher and think, "He/she seems cool, really easy-going, I think we're going to get along."  But then they either lose control of the classroom, or are "too cool," and not really acting like a teacher, and all the boundaries get messed up.  You're not sure who's running the classroom anymore.  From my very little experience in the classroom, I have found it is easy to go in that direction if you're not really sure where you're headed.  If you're unsure of what your goals are, or how you want your students to respond to you, you can easily be swayed by what seems cool or what will make you seem like a "friend."
That's when you're surprised when you're relieved to be in the strict/more controlled teacher's classroom. You know what to expect, there's order, and while you may receive discipline, *hopefully* it's fair across the board.  You do your work, you're recognized appropriately, you learn, and everyone moves on.

I have never really tried to define myself as a parent, and if you're unfamiliar, there are billions of labels that people attach to themselves as parents.  I haven't found the one for us that fits just yet.  Not even am I talking about crunchy or modern, or tiger mom or panda dad ... For right now though, for the stage Mia is in, I think we need to be more authoritative.  Not authoritarian, authoritative.  She learns from us who is the boss and who sets the rules.  In Marriage & Family class back at our dear FC, there were 3 types:
authoritarian (my way or the highway); authoritative; and passive (whatever goes).  Obviously as Dr. Dickey detailed these parenting types, authoritative stuck out as the winner.  From Wikipedia: "Authoritative parenting encourages children to be independent but still places limits and controls on their actions."  And who doesn't want to be a winner?  I sure do.

And now for your viewing pleasure...this week's past pics:

Mia discovered her winter hat & mittens and
tried them on while also trying out her potty.
Have I mentioned how I have no clue how to potty train??

Busy day working from home for both Mia & Greg.
Glad she can put in a few hours here & there.

This is Mia's newest pose, outside or inside.
Guess she remembers some of the yoga I did when she was still in the womb!

Showing the street how to do it

Mommy & Daughter Yoga.  I wanted to get in on the action too!

Who's in charge around here?

After months of having fun with Mia, just doing our daily "day-to-day" with little to no consequence, life throws a curveball at us.  Or maybe we've been well overdue.  I mean, after a string of a few solid months when people ask you, "How are you? How's life?" and you genuinely can say, "Great!" without adding qualifiers in your head ("Well, it'd be MORE wonderful if ____..."), maybe our time for real nonsense had arrived.

Maybe it is time for the terrible twos.

Mia is less than a month away from entering the age of two, technically, but behaviorally she's been there for the past month or so.  Greg and I are starting to feel like everybody's out of sync, out of control and we need some firm footing again.

So, back to the drawing board where decisions will be made, a few choices eliminated, and this chiquita bambina is going to relearn who's the boss.  Not her...ME.  Not her...Daddy.
I'm all about "empowering" kids to know what they're capable of doing, but I'm not all about entitling kids to feel like anything's free game.  So, while my actions may not have been clear to Mia in the past about communicating this ideal, it's about to change.

Wish us luck and send up a prayer or share a word of encouragement with us.  We're total n00bs and humbly admit we need the most guidance here.

And to total newbies: Don't worry...it's not always like this, and every kid is different, and you can learn from our mistakes!  That's part of the point of this blog...to share ideas!

Time for a Change

Not just from the food post but also time for a change at home.

One of our many home improvement agenda items has been painting the family room & kitchen.  This weekend we tackled the family room and chose "Sharkey Gray" to go up on our walls.  We're still determining the kitchen color, and painting the kitchen will obviously require a bit more work: lots of weird angles, tall ceilings, and the obvious appliances with which to hassle.

It's not a drastic color choice, but hopefully something that will enhance the feel & vibe of the family room more so than the vintage white that was up there before.  It's such a vast space, it needs a little coziness to encapsulate it.

Mia--as she does in many things--wanted to help out, so she stood on the bottom rung of the ladder for a long time.
We'll pretend she didn't accidentally wipe her booty across the top of the wet paint can...

We were able to do all the painting on Saturday and then we finished up on Sunday by painting an accent color on the interesting woodwork we have popping out one wall of the family room.  Unfortunately, we sorta botched the color choice so that will need to be repainted at some point.  Too bad we really thought we had that figured out!

In other efforts to keep Mia distracted while we painted, we once again relied on our good friends at Sesame Street.  "What's the word on the street?"  Mia has definitely learned her numbers and the alphabet more thanks to Sesame Street, so there must be some learning going on there!



In the meantime, our current challenge with Mia is mostly behavioral.  She won't be two for yet another month but many a mom friend can relate to me here: the terrible twos have already arrived.  I received a call while we were walking through Target this morning and since I was holding the phone, and apparently Mia desperately wanted the phone at that moment (no doubt to watch Elmo), she began hitting me in the face and screaming.  Um, not the desired behavior while in public.  I put her in timeout at the end of an aisle and tried to discuss good and bad choices (© J.H.).  There is talk of a parenting class in the works at our church and it seems there's no time like the present ... we eagerly want answers and direction in raising our little one.  She has a fun, gregarious personality, but like someone else in her family (hmmm...who could that be?), she has a strong will and is quite independent.  Some have called her "secure," which I am happy to hear about her, but it gives both me & Greg a physical & mental workout at times!

Ain't that the way it goes, though?

Speaking of workouts...we have a 5k this weekend.  Here's hoping that these little workouts + some runs with the jogging stroller will be enough to see us through!

Scaring the living daylights out of friends sans children

Of course I am perfectly well-behaved ALL the time.
Of course I am!

I was at a bless-ed baby shower the other night, which for me, unless I am hosting, is like the biggest girl gab fest I can sometimes find, and I love it.  I used to not be crazy about [baby/wedding] showers. What's the big deal about a mixer, you ask?  Or, how many bibs can a little bub have?  (Not too many, I tell you, not too many.)

But now I look at them as an excellent way to get a collective mass of fun-loving, heart-throbbing people (mostly women) together to discuss the "hilarities" of life, including the good and the bad.

I was part of one such conversation Sunday night, which upon reflection, and confirmation from these gal-pals, slightly scared them from EVER wanting to have children.

What is it about moms that makes them discuss perhaps the most non-flattering aspects of parenthood?  Do we just love to torture others?  Are we sharing battle wounds?  Looking for commiseration?  

Indeed I think it is multi-faceted.

I will confess there is some enjoyment in seeing the shock on others' faces and their jaw drops because they cannot believe you just said [that].  I would give you a real example but I know I have some more prim & proper readers on this blog and don't want to make even them aghast.

There is also enjoyment in explaining to others: "This is how it really goes down."  People will tell you all aspects of motherhood are glorious and while the good most definitely outweigh the bad, there are a few parts of being a mom that are not glamorous.  Privacy, diaper poop, pumps, I mean...let's face it.  Little people are little people, still learning the ropes and don't know that generally speaking, most adults like to close the bathroom door when they need to go.

But most of all, I think there is enjoyment in relating to other women & moms that what happened to me is also happening to you...and vice versa.  There's a sense of normalcy at that point that I'm not totally absurd and my house isn't running perfectly 24/7 and nor is yours...and we're okay.

This perplexed me quite a bit pre-Mia.  I heard awful stories about crazy, ill-behaved children, sleepless nights, never going out with your spouse, and then what felt like in the same breath, a person exclaiming "I LOVE my children! I can't imagine life without them!  I love being a mommy!!!!!!!"  (With probably at least that many exclamation points.)  

I thought, okay, either you're LYING, or there's something I'm seriously missing here.

Until I had Mia.  I got it.  There are minutes, hours or days where the role of motherhood is challenging, daunting, gross, irritating, awful, despicable, unflattering, lonely, grueling.  It's true.  Just like pretty much any other job.  There are days you love it, and days you hate it.  And sometimes it takes a while to get used to it.

BUT.  And this is a BIG but.  And not a butt.  To be a mom, to have your own little munchkin(s), to be building something greater than yourself, with your best friend (who also drives you bonkers sometimes as you do to him -- let's face it, marriage ain't always a cake walk either, is it?), is one of the coolest jobs in the world.  

I told my friends, after I realized I probably scarred them for life with my "horror" stories (which are not funny as they are occurring, but are much funnier weeks & months later), that being a mom has helped me be more balanced, content, secure, and even chilled out in some ways.  Cause we all know, I was all over the place beforehand; at least I felt like I was!

So do not fear. You will hear unflattering stories. You will hear people proclaiming there's nothing better.  You will wonder what to believe.  Believe both, but know that you can also choose your 'tude and make it how you want to be.  And create a purpose that will drive you and keep you going.  It's not all drudgery but it ain't all tulips either.  It's life.

So go on, have a kid*. Don't be skeered!  It will change things, of that I will not lie.  But in my limited experience, it can improve things too.  

/The End.

*Of course if you cannot have children or do not want to have children, I do not intend to say that by not having children your life is incomplete.  Certainly not.  The Apostle Paul was not married nor did he have children and I would venture to say he lived a pretty full life.  I am only sharing this message for people earnestly contending with the idea of having children and am in no way trying to say to others that your life won't be grand if you don't have them.  It can be grand either way.  Again, choose your 'tude.  God bless.

Making it Happen

There's a line from the infamous TV show, "The Office," where Darryl tells Michael to "make it happen, capt'n."  That line has never died in our relationship/family/house and we still say it years later. And finally I'm making something happen!

So a while back I talked about needing to make some changes to my diet, and I had been venting to friends about how I should start this and I want to but I'm going on a vacation, yada yada yada and I'm scared of not having sugar yada yada yada and was really, feeling quite sorry for myself.  Then a friend tweeted that she started a 30-day detox with her holistic doctors and I felt some hope returning.  She inspired me to get my booty in gear.  So, on Tuesday, I have my first appointment with an integrative care doctor's office and I'll meet with a PA to discuss my history and plan a course of action.  I'm really looking forward to finding some guidance through my first detox* ever and getting some answers to questions I've had.
In addition to that, what feels like providential timing...I signed up for a "Surf & Turf" e-course about preparing and handling nourishing foods--probably more like eating foods the way they were meant to be consumed and in the most healthful way.  I'm sure it will be a MASSIVE paradigm shift but I'm ready to start learning and doing!   Or, as Darryl said, "Mak[ing] it happen."

*Why am I doing a detox?
I've been on certain medications for a very long time that have probably, almost certainly, done unpleasant things to various systems in my body, and I'm now starting to feel and see more unfavorable results.  It's time to assess the situation for what it is, move on, and hopefully eradicate "the need" for these medications and live in a more holistic manner.  At least, 'tis my goal.  Wish me luck.

Mia @ 12 months

Mia had her 1 year doctor's appt today and she weighed in at 19lbs, 1oz, and measured 28 inches long.  She's maintaining her weight and height and growing, but the biggest increase was in her head circumference.  She's in the 90th percentile there!  So, something's working right.

I was able to answer "yes" to all of the developmental milestones, which always makes a new mom feel good, but I was a little disappointed in her doctor's answers to my questions about milk/dairy allergies.  He recommended soy milk as the next best bet. In some cases, I'm sure that'd be fine, but I'd rather Mia have that in moderation than regularly. I guess I will have to continue my search to find a suitable alternative for Mia, or continue to seek out information to reduce her allergic reactions.  In the meantime, I didn't think I'd make it past this point, but it's been 12 months, and I'm still pumping.  Let's hear it for all-natural milk. *Woot woot*  We'll see where this goes!

The family on Mia's actual birthday

PS: More birthday pictures to come.

I'm on fire!! / Mia's Birth Story

I'm on fire!!

Not literally, but actually that title is a bit apropos as last night I almost started a kitchen fire. I shant get into the details, but everything's cool, thankfully! Phew. :P

Nah, I'm on fire because I've been re-inspired to write Mia's birth story almost a year de post facto. I just read Jamie's birth story about baby Dylan and that was basically all the push (no pun intended) I needed to rewrite this story.

As I've alluded to before, Mia was born at a free-standing birth center. Before I was even pregnant or had the thought of being pregnant, I was nonchalantly invited to see a screening of "The Business of Being Born," at USF's College of Public Health by my nurse friend, Laura. That viewing, plus a few other casual conversations with people along the way, basically changed the way I thought about childbirth, and convinced me I wanted to pursue the natural route. When I found I was pregnant, I was still a patient at an ob/gyn group and saw them up until 28 weeks, as Greg & I were still making decisions about where we wanted to deliver Mia. At the ob/gyn group, we could choose one of two hospitals in the area, and I'd heard great things about both. However, when I asked my primary OB about the chances of delivering naturally (which for me, means no pain medication, little to no interventions), she said that probably 10% or less of her patients actually end up delivering naturally, although perhaps more than that percentage wanted to. When I heard that, my heart sank. I really liked the group and the two doctors I had seen the most, but my goal was for a natural delivery and I just didn't feel optimistic staying with them that I would achieve my goal.

Earlier on in my pregnancy, I had toured a nearby birthing center (Labor of Love). A church friend worked there as a birth assistant, and I knew several acquaintances who had delivered there. Of course, they all loved it and raved about it: "It was great!" "I would never go anywhere else." "The staff there is so awesome." So, once Greg got to tour it as well, and we talked to more people about it, just about the time I was to undergo my glucose testing, I made the switch. Once we made the switch, we were pretty hard-core about it, because we knew we needed to stay strong about our decision and that some people would give us grief about it. I think some of the grief was also laced with concern. Concern that delivering at a birth center would be risky if there were emergencies. But we talked to the staff there and found out: they don't take chances. You have to qualify to birth there, in other words, be low-risk. If there's a question, they consult with fellow midwives, or the doctor's office that consults with them. They're not afraid to tell you to go to the hospital to get something checked out, which I did once for high blood pressure. There's a fire station very closeby, and an ambulance can be there within minutes and take you to the closest hospital, which is 7-10 minutes away. But, I wasn't focusing on the "what ifs" at that point really. I was focusing on how to make this experience the most pain-free, easy & peaceful experience possible. And thanks to God, it was. Here's our story.

I measured within range, but probably always a bit on the smaller side, throughout the last half of my pregnancy. I never really got HUGE, as I looked back on it, but I was still within the fundal measurement range and my weight gain was normal as well. However, as a new mom, I thought, hmmm, maybe my April 29 due date is a bit off. I'll probably deliver a week or two late. And the birth center lets you go up to two weeks, although they try to help you along so you don't get to 42 weeks! I had been taking an herbal supplement and some evening primrose oil just to help my body to get ready anyway, but as I told my chiropractor I thought, "I'll probably be late. I don't feel super huge, and I'm not getting crampy or anything, so (even though I quit my job a week and a half before my due date) I'll probably have a lot of time before she gets here." He said a lot of times a mother's intuition is correct, and I tend to believe him on a lot of things, so I figured he was right. But sometimes a mom's intuition and a baby's will aren't always in stride, and I'm cool with that.

(37 weeks)

(37 weeks, 2 days)

April 25 was a Saturday where Greg & I had planned to get a lot done. We were about to go to IKEA in Orlando to look at a couch for our front room, but we called before we left and found out it wasn't in stock. Bummer. So, since we weren't going to go, our plans for the day were now up in the air, and we just decided to take it easy, and piddled around the house doing odds & ends, but nothing too strenuous. We had been pretty busy almost every weekend prior, making sure baby gear and Mia's room were ready. Saturday night, we went to Five Guys Burgers & Fries, and saw my younger brother Jackson in the parking lot with his girlfriend Katie. They were going to get dinner at nearby Chipotle, but after they were done, they came inside to Five Guys and socialized with us. I remember being glad we ran into them, because Jackson was about to graduate from Florida College, and I knew I wouldn't see him much anymore. We joked that by ordering the cajun fries I'd go into labor. We joked about a lot of things, and then they were on their way to some other social engagement. Greg & I left, stopped by Lowe's, and then headed home. I read a few more pages in my Bradley book, had Greg check out some of the pages I wanted him to read about labor, had a good "freeing" conversation about some fears of parenthood, did some relaxation exercises, and just hung out till real late. Unnecessarily late, perhaps, but we had no idea what was in store.

About 5:12am Sunday, I woke up thinking, hmm...those fries did NOT sit right with me! I got up feeling a funky cramp in my belly and headed to the bathroom. I laid back down again, and around 5:30, felt the same crampy feeling. I woke up Greg and said, "I think I may be having contractions. I just had one 15 minutes ago and now here's another one."

Greg's response was comical. He got up right away and started cleaning a lot of things in our house. He may have even vacuumed. I tried to eat a few things but found out my body wasn't holding down food. I got on the birthing ball and swayed around, and around 7 or so, we texted our friend Juline and shared our symptoms and she said, "Sounds like labor :)" Hearing someone else confirm that was exciting and a bit surreal. You anticipate it, but are sometimes in disbelief when it happens, especially because in our case, we still had "3 days" to go!

Around 8, Greg called our doula, Stephanie, and she came over to observe and monitor my contractions. Greg downloaded an app on his iPhone called contraction master, which was an awesome tool to track how long each contraction was and the time inbetween. I pretty much stayed in our tub from 8-11, when Stephanie decided it was time to head to the birth center.

Of course, the leisurely drive to the birth center was anything but. Greg was a bit impatient with all the stoplights and drivers we encountered. I unfortunately was puking into a little bowl we had brought with us, and Stephanie was in her car following. We got to the birth center around 11:30 and as soon as we saw our midwife Andrea, I felt a bit relieved and also happy/sad. She checked me and I was 4cm dilated and 95% effaced! Only 6 more centimeters to go.

From 11:30am-4:45pm, I labored. A lot. They gave me some IV fluids as soon as I got there because anything I tried to eat, I'd regurgitate. Plus, I needed an antiobiotic becuase I had tested positive for GBS, which was delivered through the IV. The IV fluids were super helpful in giving me some energy again, and later in the afternoon, I was able to sip some water and/or energy water. We tried every labor position, the bed being the most uncomfortable. The birthing ball and rocking chair were also out, as they relaxed me too much and my labor stalled. So, my doula had me walk around the back portion of the birth center, outside, and squat during a lot of contractions. Those were tough, but oh so necessary to getting Mia further down the birth canal. I also sat on the toilet a lot. (Sidenote: This is a very relaxing sitting position for a lot of women, myself included.) I also tried the tub towards the end, indifferent about a water birth. From 3-4:30, my contractions were incredibly intense. I was shaking through the ends of each contractions because they were so powerful. Andrea encouraged me to vocalize through the end of them and not let myself tense up, so while I had been very quiet through most of my labor and had my eyes closed, I started moaning, which sounded like a very strong humming. I should add that Juline arrived after 12, and added a very calm and confident voice to the labor.

Around 4:45pm, I was checked and found out I was complete! I was pleasantly surprised and also a bit scared. I knew my body had done a lot of hard work but still wasn't expecting this to be "the time." I was encouraged to start pushing through the next contraction, even though I hadn't felt the urge to push yet. However, once I started pushing, the urge soon followed.

I had no idea how to push or how to get leverage and it was a bit hard to find that leverage in the tub. Plus, the tub is so relaxing and masks a lot of pain, so I wasn't sure how effective my pushing had been. After several pushes in the tub, Andrea suggested we move to the bed and start pushing there. She had a guarded intensity that told me we needed to work fast. Once I got more leverage by sitting back on the bed, I was able to push better. I was also given oxygen to keep my vitals up. And this is about the only time I got "loud" during labor. I was grunting pretty forcefully when I pushed to the point that I scratched my throat!

I really had to bear down to push Mia out. At one point, they told me they could see a bit of her hair & head and I was able to feel that. Crazy! For the next push I really needed to get her out more, but instead of crowning, Mia literally came flying out. Andrea caught her, but it was a bit of a juggling act, because I don't think everybody was ready for her to come out so quickly. It was 5:36pm. Happy birthday, Mia!!

They immediately put Mia on my chest and gave her some oxygen and she perked up right away. Greg got to cut her cord and hold her for a long time after she was born while I got the lovely task of expelling the placenta!

You know some people immediately cry when their baby is born? I wasn't actually the emotional one when Mia was born, Greg was more emotional than I was. I was shocked, happy and relieved. I couldn't believe she had arrived and I did it! I've now birthed a baby. That was a really big deal. I'm so grateful we had the pleasant birth experience. I could not have asked for anything more. Everything was very peaceful. The sun was shining, there was a slight breeze, and our whole labor team was super supportive and calming and encouraged us the whole time.

I think things that made our birth experience go so well:

• the people [a midwife who had delivered hundreds of babies healthy & safe; calm birth assistants (Nicole); friends (Juline); and our amazing doula who really helped the labor progress by putting me in situations where my body was forced to take action; and of course Greg who stood by throughout everything]
• the place (the birth center is well-equipped for several situations and has lots of ways for you to relieve pressure throughout contractions and is cozy & comfortable)
• the preparation (we went to childbirth classes, read books, talked, did relaxation exercises, so that when the time came we had an idea of what to expect)
• the plan & the providence (God certainly had a hand in delivering Mia safely and there were times when I was in so much pain that I thought, Jesus has felt worse than this...I can do this!!)

Even though it was super tough work, knowing there's a goal in sight makes it so much more bearable. My doula told me weeks before Mia was born, when I said my one fear about going the natural route was not being successful, was that any woman can do it. It's humanly possible, you just have to know what your limits are. And I stretched my limits and opened my heart that day and now we have a "Lil' Mia"!