A tough time

There is a lot of sadness going around my greater community.
Just recently I learned of an acquaintance who lost her younger brother-in-law to heat stroke. He was only 19.
Friends from our congregation are dealing with stage IV stomach cancer & chemo treatments.
A good family friend's aunt is in her final days battling breast cancer & liver failure.  She is a very special woman, and I've only interacted with her a few times, but those interactions gave me pause, thinking, what did I do to deserve such special treatment from her?  I think that's just the way she is.
And a young newlywed couple just found out that the husband has an inoperable malignant brain tumor.  They've been married just shy of two months.
When does it stop? And that's not even touching on local or national news.

I guess the hard part of being a grown-up is realizing that it doesn't stop.  The world, somehow, keeps turning, and each day we breathe in and out as these lives just slip through our hands.  I still cannot fathom how one minute a person can be here, and the next minute, that person is gone.  As a 30 year old I still grapple with the finality of it.  As a christian, I know there are eternal purposes.  I know their soul still exists, and I know somehow somewhere a piece of them is still operating, manifesting.  But it doesn't mean that for the rest of us here on earth, that the hard news, is any easier to swallow.  It still hurts.

I wish I had some enlightened thought here, but I really don't.  All I know is:

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17

gifts from above

God does not change (thank you, God!!) The days we have with our loved ones are gifts.  The loved ones are gifts.  The hugs we get from our friends.  The teachings we receive from the older, wiser. The food we eat.  The "American dreams" we live...if any of it is good, it's from the Father above.
So I'm leaving this part of the day a little depressed, a little thankful, and a lot contemplative.  My heart goes out to all those hurting and I pray there is comfort for these families soon.

On Being Thoughtful

When I was a little person (let's say 10 years old), I used to spend a lot of time by myself thinking.  This was right around when our family moved into a new house in a new neighborhood and I didn't have any friends yet.  Cue lots of self-reflective time for an already slightly analytical girl.  This was also around the time I decided to perm my hair like my best friend from elementary school (JH), which proved to be a mistake going into the 5th grade.  Thankfully, a new friend emerged (EM) and helped me muster through the beginning of the Awkward Years.

From Me & Jackson, my little brother buddy

From displaying awkwardness in its finest

Anyhoo, the whole point of this is about being thoughtful.  At the ripe young age of 10 years old, I remember taking a walk and thinking that I was a pretty thoughtful human being. I thought about how I thought about other people's feelings and how I tried to take that into consideration when dealing with someone else (metacognition, already?!) and how people have preferences and how to honor those, etc.  I was reflecting on myself and thought I did a pretty good job.  Apparently I had a lot of self-confidence at that time too...

These days, I don't have quite as much mental free time as I did when I was ten years old and subsequently, sometimes I don't find myself being as thoughtful.  Being thoughtful takes preparation and it means more than just a last minute text message that says, "Sorry I forgot, but happy birthday!!"  They say it's the thought that counts but sometimes it's also the medium.  Or the timing.  Or the wording.  Sometimes my thoughts are too late, poorly executed, or miscommunicated.

I could blame it on being pregnant, but whenever I do remember something important, or plan in advance and have a bag of cookies to give a friend when she helps me out, I register it in my mind as an act of thoughtfulness, and it spurs me on to the next one, and I feel good about being less involved in myself.  Some people are just really thoughtful, and it seems like they always have it together.  I would venture to say that they are perhaps less self-centered and more aware of the greater picture and their purpose and organized enough so they can be more prepared for unexpected events (or last minute reminders).  I want to be like that!!

How do you find yourself being thoughtful?  What aids you in this? What is the most thoughtful thing someone has done for you lately??