Sometimes, it seems like it always revolves around the nap. I never knew sleep was so crucial until I had a kid. I could tell you myself I always feel much better the more rested I am, and the more regular my schedule is, but it seems to be even more paramount with a child.
Ever since our trip, which was totally well-worth it, well, things around here have been a little helter-skelter. The days are getting longer with the sun rising earlier and setting later, and Mia's bedtimes have gotten later & later. We had not intentioned to not honor a strict bedtime for her, but it just wasn't happening how it normally does. Then this week, she had a really high fever two nights in a row, and woke up extremely warm and uncomfortable. She ended up sleeping with us the rest of those nights and slept much more soundly.
Yesterday she even slept past 9am, which is a rarity for her, and took a good afternoon nap and after she woke up, fell asleep on me on the couch for about another hour. That (her sleeping on me outside of her room) never happens either.
So on a day like today, when we had a birthday party playdate to attend and you'd think all the commotion and even the sugar high would send her crashing this afternoon, she is instead thrashing in her crib, rolling around shouting "Noooo!" from time to time. Now, I sit here blogging so I'm able to piece some sentences together, but when she acts like this, I feel like I can't get anything done, or truly relax, until I know she's asleep. Does anyone else feel like that? Am I the only mom whose successes for the day sometimes hinge on the completion of a good solid nap?
I feel fickle being so focused on this nap-thing, and when I talk to other moms, especially those with more than one child, it just sounds like something of which they eventually have to let go. Either their children have long since stopped napping, or they have too many to coordinate perfect nap schedules (baby sleeps in AM, toddler in PM), or once one goes to sleep, they have to wake them up to pick up an older sibling from school. Knowing how crucial it seems for Mia now to get good sleep (especially after being so feverish earlier in the week), I don't know what I'd do if she didn't take a nap. Probably acquiesce to her demands and let her watch Elmo while I try to get something done. For real. I hate to say it, but it's true. TV is sometimes a crutch when it needn't be.
What is different about these pictures??
So my question to other moms out there is, what do you do when you've tried all your tricks (diaper changes, extra drinks, soothing, etc.) and your child doesn't nap? How do you handle it and how do you keep yourself from turning into a crazy-angry-zombie mom?? Is this just a bunch of much ado about nothing?
And now, while after I vent, and have said a quick prayer (yes, sometimes I pray about naps), she is asleep. *Sigh*
Children. Don't know how to live with 'em sometimes, but can't live without 'em, it seems. Always a blessing.
...that our little munchkin is not sleeping as well anymore.
Chalk it up to the time change, teeth, a developmental milestone, or who knows what, but the relative ease with which I used to be able to put Mia down for a nap has quickly escaped in the last few days and weeks. It started with the afternoon nap becoming a major challenge, when it moved back an hour or two from 2ish to 3 or even 4pm.
At least the morning naps were easy, right? (PSYCH!) The last few days we've gone from easy morning naps where she snuggles with me and then snuggles in her crib and passes out for a good 1 & 1/2 to 2 hours to wrestling with that morning nap for 1 & 1/2 to 2 hours before she's really down. It's noon and she's just now settled for her "morning" nap, and the same thing happened yesterday.
We're at a major loss so I've called in the troops. My friend just lent me her Dr. Ferber book, which significantly helped her sleeping problems with her 11 month old. He now sleeps through the night, for the first time in his whole life. Bless their hearts! Mia has been sleeping through the night for the last few months thankfully, but has just become a very difficult napper. Although if the napping problem isn't corrected it will most likely affect her nighttime sleep too. This book has lots of suggestions and solutions for solving children's sleep problems and I hope it provides some answers and success for us.
So here's to hoping for a better report sometime soon because the joy of our days is quickly draining when half of it is spent trying to get a wee little one to just sleep!!
I'll try to resist the urge to commence every blog post with the definition of the word in the title, but I curiously looked up "jostle" and was intrigued enough by its etymology & date, that I thought in this case, hey, if the blog commencement definition thang ain't broke, don't fix it.
Main Entry: 1jos·tle
Pronunciation: \ˈjä-səl\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): jos·tled; jos·tling\-s(ə-)liŋ\
Etymology: alteration of justle, frequentative of 1joust
Date: 1546
intransitive verb1 a: to come in contact or into collision b: to make one's way by pushing and shoving <jostling toward the exit>c: to exist in close proximity
2: to vie in gaining an objective :contend<jostled to get a glimpse of the celebrity>transitive verb1 a: to come in contact or into collision with b: to force by pushing :elbowc: to stir up :agitatejostled us awake>d: to exist in close proximity with
2: to vie with in attaining an objective
You may think I'm going to talk about the jostling that occurs when shifting just one hour forward with a baby thanks to Daylight Savings Time. In fact, I could very easily discuss that. (She napped about 2 seconds yesterday, and then slept soundly from 9pm-1am, then 2am-9am last night. I wasn't a big fan of the 1-2am party, but I loved sleeping in till 9!)
But while I'm not really going to talk about Daylight Savings Time, it does play a factor in today's story.
So, as stated, Mia woke up a bit late today, especially compared to last week's standard, where awaking around 6:30am was scarily becoming the norm. This resulted in her napping through lunchtime, which was cool until she woke up around 1:45pm, and then I really wasn't sure what to do. Most days, she goes back to sleep for a late afternoon nap around 3 or 4pm, but seeing as how everything was just a few hours off today, and it was a beautiful day out, I was feeling the need to get outside/out of the house and socialize with somebody. It had been a while since I had called upon my friend Daphne, but lo & behold, I found her on Facebook Chat and she graciously welcomed us over to her house as one of her little ones would be napping and she couldn't meet for the walk I had proposed.
We made our way over to Daphne's, with a quick stop at the Coffee Beanery--unfortunately another disappointing visit. As I used to work there...almost 6 years ago...I like to give it some support in a very Starbucks-proliferated market (which I do indeed love & take advantage of at nearly every opportunity). However, I was again reminded why they have not really exploded on the Tampa scene: their customer service leaves much to be desired. Another example where "culture" plays a big role in the delivery of service and products. It's almost like comparing Publix to Sweetbay. Publix ("where shopping is a pleasure") vs. Sweetbay (unfortunately can't even think of their slogan) ... I gotta throw SB a few bones, but Publix is always a better experience. Alas, I digress. I picked up two iced mochas for me & Daphne, as I thought I recalled there being a "Mocha Monday" deal, although I felt like I had to finagle both baristas who assisted me as it seemed as if they had never heard of this. I wasn't trying to pull a fast one on them, I just recalled receiving several emails some time back about this promo that seemed to last a few months. So perhaps they were newer employees or perhaps their short/long-term memory was inept because while they honored this deal, they looked at me like I didn't even know what a mocha was. Excuse me. (I did not mention I was one of the inaugurating employees!!)
So, at Daphne's, Mia checked out the risen sandbox tray on the patio, while Ava made us a few delectable treats: soup, cake, milkshakes, etc., of course all from the finest of sands. Daphne & I shot the breeze, while literally enjoying the breeze, and just caught up on life. (Corbin was napping his little self out.) Eventually I realized Mia's window of non-napping had come to a close and it was time for us to go. We grabbed our belongings, thanked Daphne for her hospitality, and Ava for all the treats, and were on our way.
No more than half a mile from Daphne's house, I was stopped in a curved right turn lane--yielding--as I waited for the right moment to enter the now more heavily ensuing traffic on Bruce B. Downs Blvd. There's barely any room to merge at that particular spot, so picking the right time is important. As I checked and waited, I suddenly felt this BOOM! and realized we had been jostled a bit (how much, I'm not sure). I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a little Jaguar convertible right behind us, and then looked at Mia and realized she had been startled as she began to cry.
I really wasn't sure what to do at that point. From where I was, still sitting in the driver's seat, I could not have imagined that the damage could be very bad. Yet I could already see the driver getting out of his car, ready to assess the damage. I hopped out and saw he was an older gentleman, a grandpa, perhaps, who already seemed quite apologetic while also deflecting much of the damage. "I think it looks like my headlight popped out and made a bit of scratch on your bumper. It could probably be buffed out really easily." From what I could tell, he seemed correct, but you know you never want to be talked out of something that needs to be taken care of when it may be very costly for you down the road. He said he wanted to avoid making an insurance claim, which I think I probably wanted to avoid too. I didn't really know what to do, so I called Greg. The man offered to talk to Greg but Greg turned that down. I just took two pictures with my camera phone, got the man's number, and listened as he explained why he bumped into me. He said something about talking to his wife on the phone, not realizing I had stopped, and then hitting me. I said, "This is understandable, it could easily happen to anyone, we'll get it figured out." I think that may have avoided completely letting him off the hook, while also trying to reduce a bit of the guilt he seemed to be feeling. Honestly, what do you do in that case? I did feel bad for him, but I also felt protective of us. In the car, Mia was freaking out. I'm trying to figure out what's the best way to handle this and be gracious towards him, and I think he's trying to slightly minimize the situation. Anyway, we exchanged names, I got his digits and then we drove off.
Mia was still spazzing and unfortunately I really need to get gas in the car, so while I was filling up the tank, I could see her through the windows desperately crying at me. Poor baby! Her bottle had ran out and nothing else was appeasing her, so while we made the mad dash home there was little I could do but hope the hum of the road would soothe her a bit.
It didn't, so when we got home, she got a fresh diaper, I heated up a bottle and then we settled into the glider where she fell asleep while eating. When she does that you know she's pretty tired. She slept for a good hour & a half (a bit late in the day for her but she's still a bit off from DST).
I thought that was enough havoc for one day, but after she woke up from the nap, Greg went to get her and as he was taking care of her dirty diaper (just a step or two away from the changing table), I heard a noise and then heard Greg say, "I just caught her midair as she rolled off the changing table." I ran into the room to see Greg holding a half-naked baby looking a little freaked out.
What's more is during bathtime, Mia swallowed a bunch of water while she was rolling around in the tub and I had to pat her back to make sure she was okay. I was right there next to her but babies are so slippery in the tub and she's so mobile that she rolled around and swallowed that water before I could prevent it from happening. You can be sure that was the end of bathtime!
If things come in 3's, then I'm *hoping* we met our quota today.
I have realized I'm lucky now in the sleep department. Whereas a few months ago, Mia still woke up once or twice a night to eat, she can now, five out of seven nights a week, sleep for 10-12 hrs straight. She may go down to sleep between 8 and 9pm and not wake up until 7 or 8am. I know every baby is different, but it does make a huge difference when you are able to sleep more than 4-5 hrs in a row. A BIG difference. Now, when she is teething, has been sick or just off from traveling, things change, obviously, and it can take a while to get her back on track. Yet our schedule (now that we actually have a schedule) looks something like this:
7:45am Wakeup, suck down a bottle play 8:30am Eat ≈2-3oz baby food (oatmeal & fruit puree) play 9-10am Go down for nap, by sucking down another bottle sleep :) 11:30am/12pm Wakeup, snack on a bottle Eat ≈2-3oz more baby food (veggie / fruit, sometimes mixed with oatmeal OR rice) play, maybe run an errand with ME 2-3pm Go down for afternoon nap, another bottle down sleep :D 3:30-4:30pm Wakeup, more milk or food snacks (you get the picture) Hang out in high-chair while dinner food gets made, read books, throw toy after toy on the ground 6pm Watch mom & dad eat dinner, make noises, clap, wave, beg for attention play 7:30pm Bathtime!! (Mia gets all goofy-excited when she hears the bathwater) 8pm Bedtime lots of sleep 8-)
Being on a schedule is great. Before I had a baby, or even when Mia was 6 months and under, I wasn't too sure about a schedule. I'm not a time-oriented person myself (family members are scratching their heads right now, asking, "Really??") and I just didn't want to be "tied down" to a schedule. You've probably seen those parents that freak out if it's past 2pm and their child isn't home for a nap, and conversely, those parents who let their child stay up and out much later than you'd think is normal, and the child is fussy or has trouble falling or staying asleep later (and there are some who do not fit on this spectrum at all!). I have found that for us, it is good to be somewhere in the middle. "Flexible scheduling" is what it is called. It may have taken us 7+ months to get there, but hey, I'm just glad we're here.
Lord Willing, if we have another baby, getting on a good schedule earlier on is something I will aim for. That, and seeing if they'll take a pacifier on occasion. Right now, Mia thinks it's a chew toy. And of course, there are other things I'd like to do differently, but those are all for another post. Instead, I'll leave you with the ever-so-grainy video of Mia crawling. You can thank my cell phone (it was the most readily available video-recording device.)
PS: Why I sound like a 9-year old while recording Mia is beyond me. I do hope I really don't sound like that on a regular basis in real life, and if I do, please break it to me gently.
