William's Birth Story (baby #3)

Apparently I started writing this birth story one week after Will's birth and only got up to the part where the first contractions started. Then I stopped writing it. My guess is, either the baby had woken up, another kid needed something, or I decided to catch some z's. Either way, I've verbally shared the story with enough people (or texted it out to curious friends), that I think we'll be able to fill in the gaps! 

Here's the no-holds bar story of Will's birth:

September 9 with pretty much ZILCH activity to speak of

My estimated due date was September 9, 2015. Based on my other two children’s arrival times, I anticipated having this baby anywhere from the end of August up through the due date, but definitely not after!! However, I should have known babies have their own plans. :) 

The weekend leading up to his birth was not necessarily ideal. Gabe, age 3 at the time, unfortunately came down with a really tight case of croup, which wouldn’t let up after a couple of nights. On Saturday, we took him to Urgent Care to be assessed and it was determined he needed some breathing treatments and some steroids (not our favorite, but it was bad enough to merit some medical help for croup for the first time ever). The steroids made him a little crazy, and he ended up not even taking a nap that day. That Saturday night, Greg and I had a chat about some last-minute fears related to welcoming another baby into our family (like, will it mess up the good flow we have already with our 6 and 3 year olds? was this a big, colossal mistake?!) and kind of just reviewed where we were at. I know sometimes babies don't come if they sense momma's not in a good mental spot.

We took a very HOT walk around the neighborhood
 Friday afternoon to try and get things going &
get Gabe some Vitamin D

A little while later after that chat, Gabe woke up in an all-out (what I believe, drug-induced) tantrum. It took nearly an hour to calm him down. He was completely out of his mind and not in control at all. Trying to calm him down only made my belly tighten up, and was very emotionally draining, so Greg finally got him back into his bed and lay down with him. I decided by that point (well past 1am) to lay down and try to sleep...finally Greg returned and he laid down too. A few minutes later, around 2:30am, I started sensing real contractions, after I had probably been asleep about 30 minutes. Greg was finally asleep too, and I didn’t want to wake him up yet, because it had already been such a short night of sleep. With my other two labors, I was blessed to have gone into labor after having had a better night’s sleep, and I had been really hoping for that this time around as well, but when the baby is overdue, and you’re READY to give birth, what are you going to do? I digress…

Denial isn't just a river in Egypt...

I was somewhat in denial these contractions were real but laying down was not making them go away, and they only proceeded to get more uncomfortable. I got up and started swaying my hips around, and woke Greg up around 3am. Bless my mom -- she had come down to stay with us, almost two weeks beforehand because I was just sure this baby was going to come earlier like Mia & Gabe had, and no, the baby decided to stay in longer -- but Greg knocked on her door to let her know what was going on as we were about to leave the house. Greg and I gathered what we could for the hospital bag (that was mostly already packed), while I stopped every few minutes to slow down and breathe through a contraction. Greg called our backup doula, and we got in the car around 4:15am. Right before we got in the car, I grabbed a towel, a big bowl, a cup of ice water, and I ate a banana and a granola bar. I wasn’t sure how much time I’d have before actual delivery, and I wanted some energy since it was the middle of the night and I hadn’t eaten in hours, and I grabbed the bowl and towel because I have a history of puking mid-labor and especially while driving! :(

Our hospital for delivery is about 30 minutes away, but in the middle of the night, when you get to cruise on the expressway, we were able to get there super quick! We spotted a couple of deer as we exited our neighborhood and while we drove down the interstate and I remember wondering if/what that meant and how that was kind of cool to see... Right before I began throwing up that banana I had just eaten and the water I just chugged. Greg was a very good sport to not start throwing up himself. That only happened a couple of more times and I very adeptly dumped the waste at a stoplight about 2 blocks away from the hospital. Woohoo!

When we pulled up to the hospital (around 4:45am), which has valet for pregnant women going into labor & delivery, the valet was SOUND asleep. Like, out. Greg slammed the doors on our car a couple of times to get his attention, and he finally stumbled awake and sprung into action like “Oh hey! I’m here, ready to go! Was totally not sleeping!” Except he was. We were wheeled up to L&D where we met our backup doula, Holli, for the very first time. I had talked to her on the phone the Wednesday night prior and she had my birth plan printed out and was ready to go immediately attending to me, even while I was sitting uncomfortably in the wheelchair in triage working through a contraction.

one word: LABOR

It's gettin' REAL

We were wheeled into our triage room, I changed into even a less attractive hospital gown than I wore with Gabe, if that’s possible, and kept working through contractions. I believe they were at least every 4 minutes at this point, if not even faster. We were waiting for a midwife to come check me before we moved me to a room, but the midwife from my practice was in the middle of a delivery. So, instead, I just hung out in the triage room, either on the bed, or on the side of the bed, going through different laboring positions while they did some quick monitoring of the baby too. Holli, our doula, was giving suggestions for different ways to sit, stand or move, and reminding me to breathe baby down and relax my face. I didn’t know it at the time either, but she was snapping some pictures on her camera as well, which I really appreciated after the fact (I think birth photography is awesome!). After probably 45 minutes of hard labor and waiting for a midwife, one of the nurses came back in and said, “She’s still stuck in a delivery; I’ll just go ahead and check you.” She checked and said I was complete with a bulging bag of waters! I’ll never forget the surprise, shock, and delight I feel when I hear the words, “You’re complete.” Knowing it’s go-time is exhilarating and butterfly-inducing all at once. They asked me if I had the urge to push and I said, “Not yet,” but after the next contraction I immediately felt that sensation. They put my saline lock in and were ready to move me to my labor and delivery room. It was around 5:45 or 5:50am at this point.

It's GO time

Because my midwife was still in a delivery, the nurses were trying to figure out who would be able to help me deliver. There was another midwife from another practice available at the hospital that night so they decided to wheel me into one of her rooms. I literally met her for the first time as they wheeled me in and I was about to have another contraction. Her name was Sandy and she asked me how I wanted to push. I had a moment of complete indecision as I had pushed on my back with my legs up with the other kids but I had been basically on all fours this time around, smushing my face into the pillow on the bed. My doula asked if I wanted to squat for pushing, but since I was in a position I couldn’t imagine physically switching myself from, we stayed on all fours and my NEW-to-me midwife told me to push my butt into her hands. For a first meeting, that was a pretty brazen request! She told me to do it again, as I had been a little apprehensive, but after about half a contraction of pushing that way, I finally pushed past the awkward, and started pushing intuitively and aggressively, in my mental zone. It all happened pretty quickly at this point, but after I started really pushing, the baby descended, then in the next contraction, my water broke (which has never happened without intervention/assistance in the past!), which kind of freaked me out!, and then in the next contraction the baby’s head emerged, and finally during the next contraction, the baby was born!!! If you read that fast, just imagine it happening in your body that quickly, because that’s about how it felt. There was such a flurry of activity around me, but I basically had my eyes closed the entire time as I gripped the pillow on my bed for dear life and was utilizing all my other senses to figure out what was going on. Because I was on all fours, I didn’t visually take in my baby until I heard the midwife ask Greg to announce the sex, and Greg checked and said, “It’s a boy!” all excitedly and cheerfully, and they helped me flipped over and gave me the baby immediately. I was still in shock, but so so so relieved and so happy he was here and looked healthy and good :). The time was 6:04am.

Three Words: Newborn Baby Bliss

Our own kids wouldn’t have even been up for the day yet, and we had just had another baby.

They cut the cord after a little while of letting it pulse, and he was on my chest doing skin-to-skin immediately. Because it all happened so quickly, I felt like I was in a whirlwind and my body had a little bit of a hard time calming down. All the hormones rushing through my body gave me the chills/shakes, so the nurses were bringing tons of warm blankets to wrap around me, which felt wonderful as I snuggled our newest little one, who was yet to be officially named.

#WorthIt

After about an hour and a half, they weighed him and he was 6lbs, 12oz, and 19 inches long. He’s our biggest baby and stayed in the longest too: 40 weeks and 4 days. Once he was weighed, I was good to go for a transfer to our postpartum recovery room, and take a nice little morning nap. Mia was born on a Sunday too, like this kid, and it was nice to rest and have some peace and quiet while the rest of the world was waking up or readying themselves for church activities!

The history behind the name

We discussed his name options on and off throughout the morning--despite having announced his birth and healthy arrival to family and friends--he didn’t have a name yet! “William” had been on our list throughout the pregnancy as a potential boy name, but had also been taken off the list once or twice just due to how popular a name it is. However, it’s a classic name, and a family name (it’s interwoven multiple times on both sides of the family), and most directly, is my dad’s middle name and my brother’s middle name, so, William it was! And Thomas was chosen as a biblical name after one of Jesus’ apostles who believed in the resurrected Christ after having been able to examine Jesus’ resurrected body and exclaimed, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28). Additionally, Thomas is also a family name as well, after Greg’s deceased grandfather. So, Will’s name is rich with family and biblical history and we announced his name to family and friends in the early afternoon. Thankfully, no one balked at it ;)

A couple of interesting notes about the delivery…

This was my 3rd birth, and my 2nd hospital birth. It went so quickly and even though I didn't have much windup time in terms of labor, I was really thankful for the supportive people involved: Greg, my doula, who handed out copies of my birth plan, my stand-in midwife and my group's midwife who came in later to congratulate me (she had a delivery with a retained placenta)! They all helped things flow quite smoothly.

The doula also used some essential oils during labor to help me not be too nauseated as I had thrown up on the way to the hospital in the car, and she used peppermint on Greg when he got a little light-headed right before I began pushing. He said he recognized the sounds I was making from the other 2 labors and knew pushing and birth were imminent and it was gettin' REAL and he had to go lay down! (Yes, on the floor of the delivery room.) Thankfully the nurses were on it right away and pointed a fan at him, gave him some juice, my doula popped open the peppermint oil and some honey sticks, and he was able to not totally pass out and miss the birth! His favorite part was getting to announce the sex since it had been a surprise. We both got to do skin to skin as well afterward, which is not something he'd done before but we knew we wanted to incorporate. The hospital honored ALL of our wishes and is considered "baby-friendly," and never tried to take away, bathe the baby or push any interventions or procedures we didn't want. In fact, when they wheeled us to our postpartum room I was happy to hear that they only expected baby to feed 4-6x in the first 24 hours and that he'd likely be sleepy (yes, mom and baby both)!! We were able to be discharged after 36 hours, which was also my fastest turn around time too!

Despite the “waiting” for Will, he was worth the wait and be it due to this being our third time around doing this newborn thing, or his nature in general, has been a very easy-going baby! We are so blessed by him and the older kids began loving on him immediately. My mom was able to stay a few more days to help things be in good order before heading back home, and Gabe eventually got over his sad, pitiful croupy cough and life began as a family of five.

Photo by Aubree Clark Photography

My experiences with a birth doula...

Recently, I was asked to provide a reference for the birth doula I used for both Mia and Gabe. Partly for my own benefit (I love to write and chronicle events), and partly for my brain's benefit so I could reduce my experiences down into an actual reference letter, I spit out the story of how I met my doula (most likely will be released as a sitcom, sometime...never).  You can read all about it...here (editor's note, because it spans about 3 year's time, 'tis a tad lengthy):

Just a little biographical history first...
In early winter 2008, I went with my friend in nursing school to a special screening of “The Business of Being Born” at USF.  I went with her out of simple curiosity. I wasn’t pregnant nor was I expecting to be anytime soon, and I was not particularly opinionated about it. However, while watching the film, I began to realize how amazing and powerful giving birth could be, if surrounded by the right people and in the right environment. Then and there, I decided that whenever it might be my time to bring life into the world, I would do what I could to have it be as peaceful and empowering as I saw it could be.
After the screening, there was a panel discussion with OBs, nurses, midwives and doulas. I remember listening to one of the doula groups there and thinking, “If I ever got pregnant, I think I’d want her to be my doula.”  It was a woman with a mild Southern accent and fierce blue eyes.  i just preserved these thoughts until the time came...

Little did I know, about 8 months later I’d be finding out I was pregnant and expecting our first child.  After switching from a regular OB/GYN office to a local birth center, I began educating myself even more on how to best succeed at natural childbirth, particularly as a first-timer.  I saw handouts in the lobby at the birth center about doulas, so one day at an appointment, I asked the midwife whom she recommended, and she referred me to Touched by an Angel. It was her immediate response and so I called the number on the brochure, got in touch with Stefany (the “other” Stefany who owned TBA at the time), and within days, she and Stephanie were at my door, ready to meet me and my husband, go over any questions we had, and share with us their practice, plans and procedures.

As soon as I opened the door to the two Stephanies, I realized these were the exact women I had observed only a year earlier at the screening of the Business of Being Born. It could not have been more providential, I thought!  And the Stephanie with the Southern accent was the doula I was going to be using, after my husband and I confirmed we did want to work with them. Thus, our working relationship began.

My experience with Stephanie was and has been tremendous. I relied on her for the rest of my pregnancy in answering lots of questions I had, preparing myself for childbirth, and utilizing her knowledge of natural medicine to combat some of the late-term pregnancy issues I encountered: high blood pressure, leg cramps, dizziness, etc.  She assisted myself and my husband greatly one night as I thought I was preeclamptic. She stayed calm and directed us to go straight to the hospital, where we were checked out, and thankfully determined to not be preeclamptic.  She was with us each step of the way and seemingly always available via text or a phone call.  I still doubted myself quite a bit in the beginning as a first time mom; I questioned my ability to be able to birth naturally, but Stephanie never questioned it.  It was like she knew I’d be able to do it, but she also knew and gently reminded me that should things change, it was all within the realm of “we can handle this, and that will be okay.” There was never any shame or insistence that to deviate from our preferred plan meant failing.  It was a great balance between having a calm, confident assurance while also staying flexible to the ever-changing needs during pregnancy, labor & delivery.
When it came to the real labor day, Stephanie was a real asset to both me and my husband.  Once we realized things were actually happening, she came over to our house and observed me for a while, much of the time interacting with my husband to get a sense of how I’d been doing and what he had seen -- this was a big help for him as well as he had obviously never attended a birth. She helped us determine when it was time to get to the birth center and followed us there. While there, she remained a calm, gentle but assertive presence, ever determined to help me get my labor in the right direction. We spent hours walking, squatting, hovering over a toilet, in the bathtub (the last two, of course, I did by myself!), working together, with my husband as well, to get my baby ready for her debut.  She watched my physical cues and also knew when I needed to eat, drink, or take a breather.  

When it was finally time to push, both my husband and I were a little overwhelmed at the realization our baby girl was about to enter the world.  Because we were at the birth center, she was able to provide us with different tinctures and natural remedies to help us handle all the emotions that can accompany labor. She gave me Skull Cap, and him Rescue Remedy (I believe) to help him handle the emotional stress so that he could help me get through the pushing.
Within minutes, our baby girl was born, and she was there to help us with latching and all the components that follow after a delivery.  Her job was not over yet.  Far from it.

There were some unique things about our birth that required extra attention--things you can never predict. Our baby was born at a very low birth weight--unfortunately too low for the birth center to allow us to go straight home with our baby. She had to be seen by a doctor that very night, so we had no choice but to take her to the hospital.  She and the midwife helped us work with a hospital to figure out where to take her, and she kept in touch with us throughout the night as we were there at the hospital.  Since she was so small, she made recommendations as to what to do to help her eat and feed, and she came over the next day to help me with latching.  It took a few days but eventually, everything was ruled out for our baby girl and we were able to take her home and start our new lives as parents.  

Technically, you are given as much emotional and physical support as you need from your doula, during your pregnancy, delivery, and the first 6 weeks after.  
I found her support to be much more lasting than that.  

Again, unexpectedly, two weeks after our child was born, I found my leg to be in a lot of pain.  I had also been dealing with back-to-back rounds of mastitis. I really was pretty miserable and feeling pretty guilty over my postpartum situation. A low birth weight baby, breastfeeding problems on top of infections, and now my leg hurt so bad I couldn’t walk very well. I desperately wanted things to get figured out and be okay. I told Stephanie what I was experiencing and she encouraged me to get checked out soon by the midwives. Based on what my chiropractor had said there was suspicion I had a blood clot, but I didn’t really understand what it all meant at the time.  The midwives surmised this as well, and within hours, I had an ultrasound on my leg, which confirmed a deep vein thrombosis.  This was utterly surprising as my only “risk factor” was the fact that I had been pregnant. I did not meet other typical characteristics of those who had blood clots. However, Stephanie has special experience in this area, because she herself has a blood disorder (APS) and she knew all the precautions I needed to take. After that experience, which I sought medical treatment for, I consulted with Stephanie on all the things I should take to build my immune system and naturally thin out my blood. She was a warehouse of knowledge I wouldn’t have had access to if it weren’t for the fact that she had been my doula.
Because of her, I feel like I was able to turn my health around I began to rely more and more on her for treatments to even everyday issues like stomachaches, baby fevers, and diet consultation.  It was truly a lifesaver.  

Without a doubt I knew if we got pregnant again, I’d be calling Stephanie.  And so we did.

Our second time around, we knew we would be in the hospital because of my history with a blood clot.  I was even more jazzed about using Stephanie because I knew she had an arsenal of experience in hospital settings and had even more knowledge now because of her nursing training.  She had also completed a course in Kangaroo Kare, which helps mom and baby bond immediately after birth, thus improving breastfeeding success rates.  This was highly important to me as I really struggled with this the first time around.  

Throughout my pregnancy, I regularly texted with Stephanie about my dr’s appointments, the various doctors I’d met with, my medication regime, any ongoing issues I was experiencing, like nausea, heartburn or the like, and she was always available to chat with me or give me suggestions. We’d really built a good relationship by this point in time.  
We met with her again to discuss our birth plan, go over our remaining questions (and since we were having a hospital birth, we still had a lot!) and talk about how we anticipated the “birthday” to go.  

Before we knew it, it was go-time. I had kept Stephanie in the loop, so she knew that there was a possibility I could deliver early, and sure enough, I did.  
As I started my labor, I let her know what was happening, and just like she had done before, she came over to observe me and it didn’t take long for her to know that it was time to make our way to the hospital. She rubbed a special labor oil on my belly before we left and then followed us in her car and was ready to meet us at TGH.
Her familiarity with the hospital and its staff made a big difference as she was able to advise us on what to do and how to handle things, and their familiarity with her allayed any fears I had about bringing a doula to the hospital.

Things went just as smoothly as they had before, even with my inexperience with the hospital birthing system.  The great thing about Stephanie is she keeps her cool and remains calm no matter what. Once we were past triage, Stephanie helped me figure out how to get back into what I call the “labor zone.”  She suggested getting into the labor tub in our hospital bathroom, dimmed the lights and even provided soothing birthing music, which eased my transition back into focusing on labor. For the next few hours, she and my husband just provided emotional and some physical support as I moved around in the tub, sat on the toilet, and waited for the doctor to check me again.  Although I don’t remember this, she told me later she reapplied labor oil to my belly again during the middle of my labor.

While your body sort of takes control in labor, it is nice to have someone there as a guide or source of knowledge for comfort and reassurance.  When the doctor came in later, he checked me and said my bag of waters was still intact and I was 8cm dilated, but fully effaced.  He gave me two options: break my bag of waters and labor would probably speed up right away, or let it break on its own, and wade through labor possibly a couple hours longer.  I asked him for a minute to consult with Stephanie and my husband, and discussed the pros & cons with her.  Having her there for a reality check and a quick discussion (is this risky? is this okay?) helped me confidently make the decision to have my waters broken.

Within minutes, I was ready to push. And minutes after that, my baby was born! It was an incredible experience and I was so delighted to have succeeded again in a natural delivery with minimal intervention.  She helped me and my husband get ready for and excited about delivering again, she was a positive force in the labor and delivery room as we worked through distractions and needed energy and focus during the pushing, and she guarded me and my new baby “like a hawk,” to ensure that bonding and breastfeeding was able to happen smoothly after delivery.
I held my baby for at least an hour after he was born, and delayed the newborn bath and assessment. I wanted to get to know him as much as possible and improve our chances at breastfeeding success as much as possible, and Stephanie’s assistance with that made a strong impact.  Latching on is a little difficult for my babies at first, but it eventually happened and I’m thankful to report he is a great breastfeeder at 6 months. 

Once again, I was thankful for her presence and assistance.  She checked in on us at home days later to see how everything was going, and this time they were going even better than they were with our first baby.
I still rely on her for various tips, homeopathic remedies, and natural healthcare consultation (all via text)! I love that we have formed a relationship that now spans over 3 years and has helped me grow as a mother.  If you’re looking for someone that knows the ins and outs of the medical system, hospitals, has attended numerous births of all kinds (home, birth center, hospital, cesareans), and is a reliable, dependable, punctual and extremely knowledgeable resource, then I wholeheartedly recommend Stephanie as your doula!

A little bit of this, a little bit of that...

Yesterday was my 18 week appointment.  We were to have the full anatomy scan (typically done around this point or at 20 weeks, halfway through the pregnancy) and an appointment with the doctor.  At this ultrasound, the ultrasound technician scans the baby's full body from head to toe, takes measurements, and checks out all the internal organs, the placenta and blood flow.  If the baby is cooperative, by this point the sex can be determined.  If there is only one ultrasound a woman has during her pregnancy, this is usually it.

Greg had shared with me previously that he didn't want them to share the sex with us at the appointment.  WHAT???  You don't want to know the sex?  I got a little ahead of myself.  Actually what he meant was that he wanted them to check the sex, but not share it at the time, and write it down on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope so we could open it up later on our terms, in his mind, preferably on a nice date. :P

He asked the technician if she could do that and she obliged, and at the point when she was checking down there, she had us close our eyes, printed off a picture, and wrote it down and put it in a sealed envelope for us to open later at our own discretion.

The rest of the ultrasound went well and it was quick!  She said the measurements were right on track and the baby was about 8 ounces.  Our appointment with the doctor was not for about 45 more minutes, so the technician suggested we walk across the street to the hospital (where we'll be birthing) and grab something at a cafe.  I had never been inside TGH so I really wanted to see what it looked like and get a feel for it.   (Let me add that Mia was with a friend and her kids at a vacation bible school while this was happening!)

Greg & I walked across the street and found they have a Starbucks inside (what?!) and even though it was in a hospital with totally artificial lighting and none of the scenery that usually accompanies a Starbucks (not your idyllic setting), it was a Starbucks nonetheless, we were by ourselves, and we could enjoy a cup of coffee (or in my case, chai tea).  We hypothesized as to what we thought the baby was.

Before we got pregnant, we sort of envisioned ourselves with another little girl.  When that's what you start with, sometimes that's what you think you'll continue getting.  After we got pregnant, I did what some might call silly calculations and tried to figure out the sex myself -- but I was still very up in the air about my "calculations".  My acupuncturist even gave it a guess based on pulses and ancient Chinese medicine.  In the back of my mind though, I was telling myself to be prepared if it was a boy, because it very well could be, and even though it wouldn't be a sister for Mia, it'd still be something very cool.
As the pregnancy progressed, I noticed I did feel a little different, and the baby's heartrate was usually in the 140s where Mia's was usually in the 150/160s.  There's a myth that a higher fetal heartrate indicates girl, and lower indicates boy.  All of this, and a little "bud" we saw on the 12 week ultrasound (which is still not indicative at that point) had me guessing boy. My gut was just telling me boy.

So while we realized the hospital Starbucks was not the most romantic setting to open this sealed envelope, we also realized this might be the only time we have together with just the "two of us" for quite a while, so we might as well take advantage of it.

We opened up the envelope, and it said...

IT'S A BOY!

It's a boy!  We knew it.  Even though pre-pregnancy, we thought girl, I think if it had said girl we would've been more surprised than we were yesterday, because this baby just felt "boy" to me.

Dwell Studio Circles Crib Bedding

Greg's pumped and I'm excited.  Mia thinks that mommy, daddy and Mia all have babies in her tummy and is still figuring out this whole baby thing.  My mom has already bought this baby boy some clothes.  And I've started thinking about how we'll need to de-girlify the nursery (which started off with a gender-neutral palette) to make it more masculine for a boy.

The doctor's appointment went very well.  We met with an ARNP, who was super peppy, fast-talking, and very informative.  She was actually really reassuring as well.  She had looked over the ultrasound report and confirmed everything looked good, she said my weight gain was on track, my fundal measurement was appropriate, and that my blood pressure was fine too.  So basically, she reassured me that everything I'd been worried about was just fine.  I had asked her about some questions I had about labor & delivery, and she told me to write up a birth plan (which I had already started doing!) and to put all my preferences on there.  She told me to ask for the rooms with the labor tubs and then gave us some helpful information about baby boys.
When Greg & I left the appointment, we felt even more at ease and kind of wondered even if she weren't able to deliver the baby, it'd be great to have her for the rest of my prenatal appointments.  So, I wonder if we'll be able to see her more.  She was just good.

She did her own hair.  And switched our drinks.

It was a busy but blessed day.  I finally picked up Mia from VBS, stopped in at friend's house, and then Mia & I grabbed a quick lunch at Jimmy John's.  Maybe it's because she grabbed some of my tea, but Mia didn't settle super easily for her nap, so this is where she finally ended up...

Sleeping on Mommy & Daddy's bed

and she slept there for about 2 hours.  

We've had such a busy week with VBS & running here and there that now we're a little behind on groceries & meal-planning.  It's time to go to the store and perhaps call on some businesses that we're hoping might donate to the Scout Benefit Concert.  If you don't know what I'm talking about, check out the link!  The concert is this Saturday night, doors open at 7 and the show starts at 7:30!

PEACE.

What's been different

16+ weeks

Indeed, I am pregnant, right?  Occasionally we all forget and sometimes don't remember which week it is.  Wait, am I in the first or the second trimester?  Ahh, yes, the second.   Crazy as our child has been this past week, we are happy & looking forward to having another baby.  Perhaps because we're "addicted to birth," but that's a whole 'nother story!!

I wasn't sure if I could fathom feeling different the 2nd time around in pregnancy, as before I was even pregnant I wanted nearly everything to be the same so that it seemed like I was enjoying (or not enjoying) all the new aspects of  impending motherhood. But alas, things go by faster this time around as time is relative, I'm more distracted because there's a 2 year old on whom to keep tabs, and since "I've done this once before," my mind isn't so wholly focused on learning all the ins and outs of pregnancy, although I do like reviewing the vast prenatal/pregnancy/childbirth literature out there from time to time.  Mostly I like reading what's going on with the baby and my body this week, and reading really good birth stories.  I could get addicted to that.

I have already felt the baby move a bit over the last few days, which has been exciting, and a positive reminder that things are going as they should.  I'm not sure I'm showing tons more at this point in time as I was with Mia, but I definitely know I have some baby belly so there's no question why my waist is widening or why I can't wait certain pants anymore.  :-S

We get asked how we're feeling, or what we're thinking Mia will be like as a big sister, or if we want a boy or girl or if we have names picked out.  As for now, Greg & I are feeling good about this, and have been since the beginning.  We have observed Mia of late with wee little ones (5 months or younger), and she has tried to be quite the helper with the babes, so we're thinking/hoping she'll be interested in her baby sibling and want to help out.  I'm thinking she might want to help out too much sometimes and try to hold the baby on her own or feed it foods when I'm not looking!  We're planning on finding out the sex in a couple of weeks, and we'll probably share with the world at large once we've told all the VIPs first :P
If we can hold fast to our goal, we will not be sharing the name until he/she is born.  People always want to know 1) what you're having and 2) what you're naming the lil' bean.  I say if we give them 1 for 2 they can't complain.  What can I say, we just like at least some element of surprise!

The main thing that has been different this go-round is whom I see for my prenatal care.  As alluded to several times before on this blog, I delivered Mia at the Labor of Love Birth Center and had a fabulous experience.  I really enjoyed my prenatal visits, the midwives and my actual birth experience.  I'm seriously not lying!  I was definitely nervous about giving birth, in and of itself, but when it came down to it, my experience went well.  I had a great doula who worked alongside us as well and really helped us as first-timers figure out what was "big-deal" worthy.

However, as also alluded to before, I had a totally unexpected blood clot about 2.5 weeks after Mia was born.  I say totally unexpected because while pregnant women are at a higher risk for clotting, I have no known clotting disorders or anything that runs in my family that could explain this.  The best explanation one of several doctors could share with me was that it was an autoimmune response to something in my system, hence why I've made some radical diet changes within the last year or so to decrease the amount of inflammation and irritation to my system.

All of this led to me being forever labeled as "high-risk" for future pregnancies.  I learned this weeks after Mia was born and dealt with my grief at the time and then moved on. The birth center was a great option for me and still is for many others who are low-risk. But high-risk? Okay, let's figure that one out too!

I found a group highly recommended that delivers at Tampa General Hospital that has regular OB/GYNs, Certified Nurse Midwives, and high-risk OB/maternal fetal medicine specialists all in one.  It's the USF Health group and so far I hear they have a good track record.  I've already met with the high-risk doctor who confirmed a prophylactic dose of Lovenox is what I should be taking throughout this pregnancy and the 6 weeks following to prevent miscarriage, blood clotting, and allow the placenta to do its thing.  Lovenox is a subcutaneous injection I give myself nightly in my belly fat (not because that's where the baby is, but because of the love handle situation!) that I basically look at as a little extra insurance for this pregnancy.  Sometimes it hurts to give the shots, but as an old pro recently shared with me, eventually you build up enough scar tissue that it doesn't hurt anymore, and after 2 months of shots I think I've already gotten there!

Other than that, all my other visits have been pretty standard.  Things will start to speed up towards the end when I have more fetal monitorings and a few extra ultrasounds to check the growth.  Since Mia was low birth-weight, they'll be monitoring the growth on this one as well.  I have learned one low-birth weight baby does not equal all subsequent babies are low-birth weight, so beyond doing what I can on the outside of the womb, we're just praying all things are going as they should inside the womb.  Getting the extra monitoring is a mixed bag of blessings.  It will be nice to see how things are progressing, but I would be lying if I didn't say I am a wee bit nervous about finding all these "extra things" that really wouldn't make a big difference but nonetheless add stress right at the end of pregnancy, which wouldn't be fun.

My birth plan as of now is still the same as it was for Mia, which is that barring any unforeseen complications, to do it all naturally, meaning no epidural, no pain medication.  We're using the same great doula again, who has allayed many a fear about birthing in a hospital (mainly because I've just never done it before, not because I'm hospital-wary) and has me feeling empowered that natural birth is totally doable (again)!

It's all still a ways off, so for now we're just enjoying the ride.  If you made it this far, muchas gracias for reading all the updates on life & pregnancy the 2nd time around!
What was different with your second/subsequent pregnancies?  What did you learn?

Nah-STALL-JEE-uh. Or Nostalgic Thoughts.

3 weeks old in her little Iguana preemie onesie!

Anytime a good friend of mine has a baby, I am inundated with my own memories of experiences that really weren't so long ago.  I feel like I remember so much and yet I know I have forgotten quite a bit too.  Even though there were times I'd rather not repeat when we first had Mia, there are also times I have a bittersweet attachment to.  Even times at the hospital.  There was such a centering effect after having her--not a whole lot else mattered anymore but our family.  And for the first few months, there was really nothing more important to do than getting sleep and being fed--for the both of us.  It was such an opposite from my life before: running here, running there, doing this or that, and feeling pressed for time ALL the time.  My calendar basically went from way entirely too full to empty.  It was strange to me, but also welcome at the same time.



Of course by now we've struck a new balance, which tends to change every now and then as Mia goes through various growth spurts and transitions, but I can't help but wonder what it would feel like again to someday have that newborn and think...for right now, this is ALL I have to take care of.  I often dread the sleepless times, but I remember: those did pass.  And I wonder how people do it with more than one child, but history has shown me people have done this for thousands and thousands of years. 

However, for now, we are enjoying our family of 3 and our rambunctious, brave, excitable little one.  As far as we know, we're not quite ready to change up the mix.  In [God's] time, and hopefully at a healthier time for me, we will.  (Was that a clear disclaimer?!)

In other ways of nostalgia...I'm very nostalgic for this group at the moment:

LH, Ro-o-ose, Meganesota, & JennGa circa 2003 @ the Dickey household

I feel like if we were to reconvene just as we are, we'd still have a million things to talk about, even though we all live in different parts of the country (or, for LH, "everywhere" ;) ) and are doing and pursuing different things.



There's something about good friends and good times for which I'm really thankful.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a very messy, klutzy, and tired baby to try to put down for a nap.

/Out.

I'm on fire!! / Mia's Birth Story

I'm on fire!!

Not literally, but actually that title is a bit apropos as last night I almost started a kitchen fire. I shant get into the details, but everything's cool, thankfully! Phew. :P

Nah, I'm on fire because I've been re-inspired to write Mia's birth story almost a year de post facto. I just read Jamie's birth story about baby Dylan and that was basically all the push (no pun intended) I needed to rewrite this story.

As I've alluded to before, Mia was born at a free-standing birth center. Before I was even pregnant or had the thought of being pregnant, I was nonchalantly invited to see a screening of "The Business of Being Born," at USF's College of Public Health by my nurse friend, Laura. That viewing, plus a few other casual conversations with people along the way, basically changed the way I thought about childbirth, and convinced me I wanted to pursue the natural route. When I found I was pregnant, I was still a patient at an ob/gyn group and saw them up until 28 weeks, as Greg & I were still making decisions about where we wanted to deliver Mia. At the ob/gyn group, we could choose one of two hospitals in the area, and I'd heard great things about both. However, when I asked my primary OB about the chances of delivering naturally (which for me, means no pain medication, little to no interventions), she said that probably 10% or less of her patients actually end up delivering naturally, although perhaps more than that percentage wanted to. When I heard that, my heart sank. I really liked the group and the two doctors I had seen the most, but my goal was for a natural delivery and I just didn't feel optimistic staying with them that I would achieve my goal.

Earlier on in my pregnancy, I had toured a nearby birthing center (Labor of Love). A church friend worked there as a birth assistant, and I knew several acquaintances who had delivered there. Of course, they all loved it and raved about it: "It was great!" "I would never go anywhere else." "The staff there is so awesome." So, once Greg got to tour it as well, and we talked to more people about it, just about the time I was to undergo my glucose testing, I made the switch. Once we made the switch, we were pretty hard-core about it, because we knew we needed to stay strong about our decision and that some people would give us grief about it. I think some of the grief was also laced with concern. Concern that delivering at a birth center would be risky if there were emergencies. But we talked to the staff there and found out: they don't take chances. You have to qualify to birth there, in other words, be low-risk. If there's a question, they consult with fellow midwives, or the doctor's office that consults with them. They're not afraid to tell you to go to the hospital to get something checked out, which I did once for high blood pressure. There's a fire station very closeby, and an ambulance can be there within minutes and take you to the closest hospital, which is 7-10 minutes away. But, I wasn't focusing on the "what ifs" at that point really. I was focusing on how to make this experience the most pain-free, easy & peaceful experience possible. And thanks to God, it was. Here's our story.

I measured within range, but probably always a bit on the smaller side, throughout the last half of my pregnancy. I never really got HUGE, as I looked back on it, but I was still within the fundal measurement range and my weight gain was normal as well. However, as a new mom, I thought, hmmm, maybe my April 29 due date is a bit off. I'll probably deliver a week or two late. And the birth center lets you go up to two weeks, although they try to help you along so you don't get to 42 weeks! I had been taking an herbal supplement and some evening primrose oil just to help my body to get ready anyway, but as I told my chiropractor I thought, "I'll probably be late. I don't feel super huge, and I'm not getting crampy or anything, so (even though I quit my job a week and a half before my due date) I'll probably have a lot of time before she gets here." He said a lot of times a mother's intuition is correct, and I tend to believe him on a lot of things, so I figured he was right. But sometimes a mom's intuition and a baby's will aren't always in stride, and I'm cool with that.

(37 weeks)

(37 weeks, 2 days)

April 25 was a Saturday where Greg & I had planned to get a lot done. We were about to go to IKEA in Orlando to look at a couch for our front room, but we called before we left and found out it wasn't in stock. Bummer. So, since we weren't going to go, our plans for the day were now up in the air, and we just decided to take it easy, and piddled around the house doing odds & ends, but nothing too strenuous. We had been pretty busy almost every weekend prior, making sure baby gear and Mia's room were ready. Saturday night, we went to Five Guys Burgers & Fries, and saw my younger brother Jackson in the parking lot with his girlfriend Katie. They were going to get dinner at nearby Chipotle, but after they were done, they came inside to Five Guys and socialized with us. I remember being glad we ran into them, because Jackson was about to graduate from Florida College, and I knew I wouldn't see him much anymore. We joked that by ordering the cajun fries I'd go into labor. We joked about a lot of things, and then they were on their way to some other social engagement. Greg & I left, stopped by Lowe's, and then headed home. I read a few more pages in my Bradley book, had Greg check out some of the pages I wanted him to read about labor, had a good "freeing" conversation about some fears of parenthood, did some relaxation exercises, and just hung out till real late. Unnecessarily late, perhaps, but we had no idea what was in store.

About 5:12am Sunday, I woke up thinking, hmm...those fries did NOT sit right with me! I got up feeling a funky cramp in my belly and headed to the bathroom. I laid back down again, and around 5:30, felt the same crampy feeling. I woke up Greg and said, "I think I may be having contractions. I just had one 15 minutes ago and now here's another one."

Greg's response was comical. He got up right away and started cleaning a lot of things in our house. He may have even vacuumed. I tried to eat a few things but found out my body wasn't holding down food. I got on the birthing ball and swayed around, and around 7 or so, we texted our friend Juline and shared our symptoms and she said, "Sounds like labor :)" Hearing someone else confirm that was exciting and a bit surreal. You anticipate it, but are sometimes in disbelief when it happens, especially because in our case, we still had "3 days" to go!

Around 8, Greg called our doula, Stephanie, and she came over to observe and monitor my contractions. Greg downloaded an app on his iPhone called contraction master, which was an awesome tool to track how long each contraction was and the time inbetween. I pretty much stayed in our tub from 8-11, when Stephanie decided it was time to head to the birth center.

Of course, the leisurely drive to the birth center was anything but. Greg was a bit impatient with all the stoplights and drivers we encountered. I unfortunately was puking into a little bowl we had brought with us, and Stephanie was in her car following. We got to the birth center around 11:30 and as soon as we saw our midwife Andrea, I felt a bit relieved and also happy/sad. She checked me and I was 4cm dilated and 95% effaced! Only 6 more centimeters to go.

From 11:30am-4:45pm, I labored. A lot. They gave me some IV fluids as soon as I got there because anything I tried to eat, I'd regurgitate. Plus, I needed an antiobiotic becuase I had tested positive for GBS, which was delivered through the IV. The IV fluids were super helpful in giving me some energy again, and later in the afternoon, I was able to sip some water and/or energy water. We tried every labor position, the bed being the most uncomfortable. The birthing ball and rocking chair were also out, as they relaxed me too much and my labor stalled. So, my doula had me walk around the back portion of the birth center, outside, and squat during a lot of contractions. Those were tough, but oh so necessary to getting Mia further down the birth canal. I also sat on the toilet a lot. (Sidenote: This is a very relaxing sitting position for a lot of women, myself included.) I also tried the tub towards the end, indifferent about a water birth. From 3-4:30, my contractions were incredibly intense. I was shaking through the ends of each contractions because they were so powerful. Andrea encouraged me to vocalize through the end of them and not let myself tense up, so while I had been very quiet through most of my labor and had my eyes closed, I started moaning, which sounded like a very strong humming. I should add that Juline arrived after 12, and added a very calm and confident voice to the labor.

Around 4:45pm, I was checked and found out I was complete! I was pleasantly surprised and also a bit scared. I knew my body had done a lot of hard work but still wasn't expecting this to be "the time." I was encouraged to start pushing through the next contraction, even though I hadn't felt the urge to push yet. However, once I started pushing, the urge soon followed.

I had no idea how to push or how to get leverage and it was a bit hard to find that leverage in the tub. Plus, the tub is so relaxing and masks a lot of pain, so I wasn't sure how effective my pushing had been. After several pushes in the tub, Andrea suggested we move to the bed and start pushing there. She had a guarded intensity that told me we needed to work fast. Once I got more leverage by sitting back on the bed, I was able to push better. I was also given oxygen to keep my vitals up. And this is about the only time I got "loud" during labor. I was grunting pretty forcefully when I pushed to the point that I scratched my throat!

I really had to bear down to push Mia out. At one point, they told me they could see a bit of her hair & head and I was able to feel that. Crazy! For the next push I really needed to get her out more, but instead of crowning, Mia literally came flying out. Andrea caught her, but it was a bit of a juggling act, because I don't think everybody was ready for her to come out so quickly. It was 5:36pm. Happy birthday, Mia!!

They immediately put Mia on my chest and gave her some oxygen and she perked up right away. Greg got to cut her cord and hold her for a long time after she was born while I got the lovely task of expelling the placenta!

You know some people immediately cry when their baby is born? I wasn't actually the emotional one when Mia was born, Greg was more emotional than I was. I was shocked, happy and relieved. I couldn't believe she had arrived and I did it! I've now birthed a baby. That was a really big deal. I'm so grateful we had the pleasant birth experience. I could not have asked for anything more. Everything was very peaceful. The sun was shining, there was a slight breeze, and our whole labor team was super supportive and calming and encouraged us the whole time.

I think things that made our birth experience go so well:

• the people [a midwife who had delivered hundreds of babies healthy & safe; calm birth assistants (Nicole); friends (Juline); and our amazing doula who really helped the labor progress by putting me in situations where my body was forced to take action; and of course Greg who stood by throughout everything]
• the place (the birth center is well-equipped for several situations and has lots of ways for you to relieve pressure throughout contractions and is cozy & comfortable)
• the preparation (we went to childbirth classes, read books, talked, did relaxation exercises, so that when the time came we had an idea of what to expect)
• the plan & the providence (God certainly had a hand in delivering Mia safely and there were times when I was in so much pain that I thought, Jesus has felt worse than this...I can do this!!)

Even though it was super tough work, knowing there's a goal in sight makes it so much more bearable. My doula told me weeks before Mia was born, when I said my one fear about going the natural route was not being successful, was that any woman can do it. It's humanly possible, you just have to know what your limits are. And I stretched my limits and opened my heart that day and now we have a "Lil' Mia"!

a sneak peak

While Greg surmises his thoughts about our trip I thought I'd give you all a little teaser about something else...

In my corner of the world, I occasionally receive questions about certain atypical things that I do as a person or a mom, mostly related to mothering. It usually starts off along the lines of a well-meaning question, "What prompted you to choose ___?"

Since I have been asked about a few things in particular of late, I've decided to dedicate a few posts to these topics that may be helpful whether the reader is a parent or not -- who knows, you may be sitting in my shoes one day and think, "Man, I'm really glad Megan posted about _____ that one time." I'd like my shoes back though when you are done with them. Anyway, if you're really not interested in the topic, feel free to skip right over it. I'm sure there will be tons of other entries as we go along filled with pictures of Mia the Bambina growing up all big 'n stuff.

Posts you can anticipate in hopefully the near future:
About Cloth Diapering
About Natural Childbirth
About Feeding - EP style

Makes me sound of kooky, doesn't it? Well before you think I'm totally crazy let me just tell you flat-out that I don't try to be one or the other when it comes to parenting. I'd like to think I'm "eclectic". There are lots of way to do things and I do not submit that my ways are better OR that there is only one way to do diapering, childbirth, or feeding, what have you. Rather, these are situations we as a family have come to where we've made a choice often times based on a preexisting condition or preference, and we chose what seemed best or made the most sense for us at the time, and I always try to leave the door open if a change needs to be made. I will discuss some of these specifics when I write about each subject. But stay tuned...it could get interesting!