I really cannot remember what I thought life with a baby would be like before Mia was born. I had done some research and casually observed others, but it's true what they say, nothing will ever quite prepare you as you can never know what to expect. Boy, have I learned that lesson more than a few times these last few years!
It would be entertaining to look back about 4 yrs ago at what I thought my life would be like and then to see how everything deviated from that plan at almost every corner. I think the only thing that has stayed consistent are most of my relationships--obviously my relationship with Greg being a key one as it steered so many of these life changes (yet of course my relationship with God being an anchor through it all).
Truthfully when I found out I was pregnant, it was not an initial moment of joy, it was more an initial moment of fear and anxiety...'twould have been great had it been "planned," but sometimes you just never know what's coming your way and that is part of the adventure of life. However, I can say 3 months onto the other side that most of the fears/anxieties I had have been quieted or at least trampled upon by reality, which is that babies don't end your life, they actually add to the quality and enjoyment of life. Simple things like going to Starbucks take on a whole new meaning, and for whatever reason, your baby's crying never seems to innervate you as much as someone else's babe does (except of course, it can become quite trying when it seems to ne'er end-to that end I highly recommend the "cuddle cure" as outlined in _Happiest Baby on the Block_). And as far as babies ruining relationships or specifically your marital relationship, I feel sorry for those to whom it happens, because I feel as if there may have been a misunderstanding of expectations/duties and some consistent & constant communication can help alleviate those problems, in my experience. Ever since Mia had to go to the hospital, Greg has been my go-to guy and that has made life all the easier, and we talk about things almost all the time. Our life together is almost a constant conversation filled with sidebars and "oh yeah and this this and that" about things he probably thought we stopped talking about 20 mins ago but I put on the backburner while we conservationally tended to another task.
And ever since Mia was born, my personal filter about all things bodily-related (as if there was ever much of a filter to begin with), has pretty much been flung out the window. I think it may be part of parenthood; you just come to terms with things like that and while I try not to overwhelm my non-parent friends, I'd like to slowly inoculate them to what they may experience should they ever be "with child".
Additionally, things I thought I would do for sure have changed, and things I thought I wouldn't really be much interested in have changed. I don't know what kind of "mom" I thought I'd be...I can't quite define myself right now as I'm still trying to mold who that person is...plus the little person for whom I'm now responsible!
All in all, it's a massive life change and whatever "they" say about sleep tends to be true, and even when I think I don't know how people do this repeatedly (and have like 17 kids & counting, or what have you), I don't know, something in me continues to be excited about the next day or what's up and coming, and that gives me a little more fuel even when I'm feeling run down.
Like Aladdin and Jasmine said, it's a "whole new world - don't you dare close your eyes."
And if you get that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day, you can thank me.
The End.
/Off to bed.
