The realization that our family of 3 is going to change to a family of 4 is starting to slowly sink in. Much of this pregnancy I've compartmentalized into different categories: taking care of me & the baby, and trying to take care of things at home. From an emotional standpoint though, I just hadn't even begun to think about the real changes we'll feel day-to-day in our home. It's one of those things you can read about and talk to others about, but until you feel it yourself you really don't know how it'll be.
Like with every change in life, whether it's going off to school, moving, getting married, etc., you tend to be excited about the next stage but a little sad about leaving the other stage behind. I guess that is just how we (or I am) are wired...I want to live up these last two or so months while we get ready for everything to be "new" again.
We met with our doula a couple of weeks ago who was so encouraging and empowering about our upcoming birth experience. One of the ways that we feel like first-timers again is that instead of having this baby at a birth center, we will be having him at the hospital. It may seem unusual then that we have questions or anxiety about a hospital since that is where most babies are born but it's just a new arena for us and feels like a new ballgame. However, after having met with our doula and taking an actual tour of the hospital Wednesday night, we can start picturing what it might be like. My birth with Mia was very tranquil and while it had its intense moments, like every birth does, there's really not a thing I would change about it. I feel very fortunate to have had the experience I did--I feel like it gave me the confidence to know this is how our bodies were designed and size aside--babies come out. All I have heard from others is that each labor & delivery is different and I fully believe it -- I've just yet to experience it. So I know not only from a location standpoint, will this birth experience be different, but also from a progression and intensity standpoint.
And to be totally honest with you, there is still a lot "to be done" from a practical standpoint in terms of preparing for this baby. However, I realized last week, if this baby were to come "early" and we weren't totally ready, it'd still be fine. He'd still have a place to sleep, we'd still have clothes, we already have some diapers - cloth & disposable - for a newborn, and we'd figure it out. There's so much extra stuff you have to think about (or forget to think about) when preparing for a new life, but when it comes down to it, you basically need to make sure the basic needs are covered, and you're fine. Maslow's Hierachy of Needs, anyone?
(I have to throw this stuff out there to keep the wheels turning in my head. Like yesterday when I was trying to think of the word for extrapolating research results to the general public. What is that called!?! I think it may start with an "e".) Don't worry, I went to cawledge.
That's in a nutshell where Greg & I are in this whole waiting/preparation stage. I still feel pretty good, although I'm feeling the "weight" of this pregnancy much more than I recall feeling it with Mia. I don't feel that I got moody or overly anxious at the end of the pregnancy with Mia, or physically miserable, but I am feeling more strain this time around, most likely from having a 2 yr old and probably from carrying a physically bigger baby (I hope). My hip and lower belly are taking the brunt of the toll and I'm gearing up for more chiro appointments. I want to keep this baby in a good position and keep my body as limber as possible for labor! DOWN BABY DOWN!
Life is good. It's full, it feels big and sometimes more than I can manage, but we have a wonderful support system and count our blessings. I'm trying not to take a thing for granted these days.
So that's where we're at.