Thursday, October 21, 2010

Gravity

Sometimes the most unexpected days are the best days.

Today I really only had two goals:

  • Get my items to be consigned dropped off.
  • Be at the consignment sale at 4pm when the special presale began for select customers (volunteers & consignors)

I was so excitably nervous all day about this consignment sale.  Silly stuff, right?  But one of my mom friends compared it to Black Friday--wanting to make sure you get all the special deals before they run out. And I had a lot on my wishlist for Mia.

I wasn't so sure about my intentions beforehand though; I had to wake up a sleeping Mia in order to get there just after 4, and I really didn't want to do that.  She's been napping great lately and I hate to cut a nap short just so I can shop.

However, Greg & I switched cars today because he needed the Pilot for a bit more storage for his annual pep rally gig, and as soon as I woke Mia up and walked to the Golf, she got pretty excited about an adventure in a different car and started kicking her legs.

Anyway, the sale was a success--for us, for now.  And afterwards, on a whim, I called my friend who lives in the area and we grabbed dinner together, which gave us a nice opportunity to catch up.  And then, when Mia & I got home, we just played with some of our new toys.
How you like my new wheels?

Trying on some new shoes while figuring out the MegaBlocks
We did the bath and bedtime routine and afterwards I had a few moments of downtime, for the first time all day, just to chill.

When I got online, I immediately saw a posting by a friend about the Matthews family, who live in Florida and have a little son with neuroblastoma.  I've already felt quite emotional this week; it's been a heavy week--in a good way--lots of excitement and opportunity mixed with sadness, and this just tugged on my heartstrings even more.  And then I read Kelle Hampton's blog, which is one of my very favorites and from whom I steal many a music inspiration, and it was like she was reading my mind...

Just earlier today I was thinking that at some point I should find those awful diaries I kept when I was a preteen and teenager, and reread them when I'm ready to face how ridiculous I was, so that when the time comes, I'll be able to better relate to things Mia may eventually go through.  And hopefully through it all, I'll be able to celebrate with her who she is.  Not an all-things-are-good-and-I'm-gonna-pretend-there's-no-room-for-improvement sort of thing, but more like a, this-is-how-God-made-you, and He is pleased with it.  And so am I.  And why do things just stink sometimes? I don't know, but we'll make it through.  And if we don't, then we'll die, and we'll go to Heaven, and then it'll be really, really great.

So, to bring it on home, I've just really been enjoying the little things with Mia, seeing her light up, learn new words, hug, blow kisses, and be our little companion, and sometimes when it seems one's heart couldn't possibly burst anymore, it just does.  And I know this blog went from straightforward to emotionally serious in just a matter of paragraphs, but that's sometimes just how life goes.  It feels like you're just going through the motions, until you realize you're nurturing a little soul who watches your every move and copies you--oft times not to your liking--and you think, "Woah, this is heavy.  This isn't just about me anymore."  So I think that's how I got there.  I had these plans and these goals for today, but in the end, what was more important was how I took care of my little daughter.  And we had a good time, and I'm trying to be a better momma, so, I think we're in a good spot for now.

And I loooove to hear Mia sing.  I must get more video of that.

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